Despair

I cannot forget
Your memory so strong,
The feel of your kiss
To haunt me all night long.
But that is all over,
My heart torn from me,
My soul an empty shell,
All from the memory

Two weeks of mourning
Not even a good-bye
My life dashed upon the rocks;
I'd just learned to fly.
To feel it all again
Would end all my pains
But I won't let it happen-
I'm afraid of the flames

Emotions burn strong,
More when it's true
Love can last forever
With or without you.
I wanted our eternity
Instead, I got left behind.
Why is there always a tomorrow
When it isn't one I want to find?

Everyone said to forget it;
There are others out there
But there seems no use for it,
Just more pain to bear.
At least you found someone,
As kind as she may be.
I can never forgive what is done;
I cannot even forgive me

I couldnt have given more
My heart had none to spare
Emotion was dead but one;
There was nothing for love to share.
My love must not have been enough,
For my home now lies still
My forever is a shattered loss-
I am now a broken girl

I die a little death each morning
When I awake to find my life changed;
Tomorrow rises from the abyss so short,
Days so long it seems time's rearranged.
I cannot think for more than a minute
Without my thoughts always turning to you
I block out my mind to the sorrow,
But the pain can always burn through

My defenses are my doubts,
What drove me to fall
My emotions are blocked,
Broken fists from the cold wall
If I could go on for myself,
I would still feel the fears
That I'll always love you from outside
My only comfort my tears

A bed of glass to lie upon,
My purgatory is spoken in every breath
Waiting for the night to come
And, with it, the cold sanctuary of death

- Nov. 1-2, 1994

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