ACT 4
INT. MASH Commanding Office-Day
Sideways, close up shot of Ratboy
Krychek(yelling)
WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE’S NOT HERE? AND WHERE THE HELL ARE THE NEW OFFICER AND RADAR? THEY SHOULD HAVE BEEN HERE HOURS AGO!
The camera panned back to include Coporal Klinger Frohike, the unit’s official nut ball(and proud of it), hated the army and all that it stood for with a passion. He made it his personal mission to get out of it! Before, when Lieut Col. Byers was in command, Klinger used to dress in women’s cloths to get a section 8 (where someone get discharged from the army on the basis of insanity) Ever since Maj. Krychek took over, Klinger was ordered to discontinue that practice.
Frohike(annoyed)
Well, don’t shoot down the messenger, _sir_! I’m just here to deliver the facts, I’m not the ones who went AWOL.
Krychek(sneered)
You think you’re pretty smart, eh creep. You just wait and see...... Dismissed!
Marita, previously unseen, walks up to Krychek.
Marita(angry whisper)
Mulder, again! He’s causing this delay. My god, I wonder what the new officer is thinking about us......
Krychek(wrapping his arms around her)
Don’t worry, sweetheart. There’s only the one of him now. With that new officer under my wings, we will be able to run a tight military outfit! He will pay then.
Ratboy giggles.
Fade out.
The camera comes back to our 2 heroes and their faithful sidekick. Hawkeye and B.J. are having a lively conversation, we get the feeling that they are getting to know each other better. We can’t hear what they’re saying because of the noise of the jeep. They are laughing when we hear a loud pop! The jeep is out of control, but Hawkeye manages to stop it before it turned over.
Scully(concerned)
What was that? Did someone shoot at us?
Mulder
No, B.J. We’re the victims of a flat tire, courtesy of the army’s cheapskate policy.
Radar is looking around the landscape, his expression growing very anxious.
Radar(worried)
This place is giving me the creeps, Hawk. Let’s get outta here fast.
With that , he went to get the backup tire and the jack.
Mulder(slightly embarrassed)
Well, I went through 8 years of med school. But they never did get to that part about the anatomy of the automobile. Either that or I must’ve slept through the part on the procedure of changus tirus.
Scully(exasperated)
In other words, you don’t know how. But not to worry, B.J. to the rescue. I grew up with 2 brothers and a navy dad. I know a thing or two about mechanics. (takes off her uniform jacket and roll up her sleeves) Hand me that spare and the jack, Radar.
B.J. starts working on the flat tire.
Mulder(leered)
Oooh, I just got very turned on.
As B.J. turned to Hawkeye and rolled her eyes. Just then we here another loud pop.
Scully(annoyed)
Not the other tire, too!
Mulder(really worried)
uh, no.....But that was courtesy of the North Chinese government!
Scully
What? You mean......
Our poor heroes get showered by machine gun fire.
Scully
Forget I asked.....
A bullet lands right next to Hawkeye.
Mulder
JUST HURRY UP!
Hawkeye climbed back onto the jeep, getting ready to start it as soon as they finish. After a few seconds, the two dived into the jeep and Hawkeye zoomed off with the enthusiasm, if not skill of a professional car racer.
Scully
They’re always friendly like that?!
Mulder
Oh, that’s their way to welcome the new guys.
Brief Time Lapse:
The camera settles on a group of injured American soldiers laying on the side of the road. Many of them seriously hurt. There’s one medic running desperately back and forth in a futile attempt to heal all the life threatening wounds. The camera transfer our attention to a cloud of dust rising from far away but closing fast. Soon the jeep containing our heroes are in sight. The medic sees them, and waved them over.
The medic
I need help real bad. My unit just got ambushed! Most of the men are seriously hurt and I can’t handle all of them. Do you guys know first aid?
Mulder
You’re in luck, buddy. We’re doctors.
Hawkeye grabbed a doctor’s bag and rushed off to save some lives. While B.J., this being the her first real taste of the war, was shocked. She had seen the news clips, had nightmares about it, but she had never imagined how bad it really could be. Yet during all this, a small part of her brain, the part that belonged to Dr.Scully, M.D. was scanning the victims and determining the best course of treatments. While she stood frozen, in lure of the terrible scene before her.
Mulder(to Scully)
Hey, B.J. I need your help over here!
B.J., broken from her reverie, ran over to help. Together they treated soldiers after soldiers. Then Hawkeye came across one soldier who was laying upside down. When he tried to turn the soldier over, the audience could tell from his reaction that the soldier had die and quite violently at that. So he got up and started to go to another victim. B.J. saw this, but she didn’t see Hawkeye’s reaction, so she was quite surprised as to why he didn’t help the soldier.
Scully(angrily)
What? You’re not even going to try to help him. What the hell kind of doctor do you think you are?
She ran to the soldier and started to turn him over. Although the audience couldn’t tell what had happen to the soldier, we can tell that it was quite horrible from B.J.’s reaction. Her face turned white and her mouth hung open. Then she ran off to the side of the road and started throwing up. Hawkeye walked over and knelt beside her and supported her. When she finished, she stared at the ground and :
Scully(whisper)
I have never been so embarrassed in my whole life.
Mulder
Don’t be. You’re doing a lot better than I was, when I first got here. You can’t believe the amount of the time I had to get outta O.R. to throwup. You would think that I was an intern. I know how hard this is, you are doing a helluva job.
Scully
My god, Hawkeye. When I was in the states, I spent some time in the E.R. I thought I’ve seen it all, gun shot wounds, knives, OD, but this... Man, I don’t think I’m ever going to get use to it.
Mulder(putting a hand on her shoulder)
And I hope you never do, B.J.
Then they both went back to work.
Fade Out
End Act 4
ACT 3 * ACT 5(coming soon)