Genetically Advanced Purple Monkeys of the Amazon Control the World
What the hell is a purple monkey ???
The theory of the existence of purple monkeys was first put forth by Tim Millican. The Tribe of the Purple Monkey is a tribe of genetically advanced purple monkeys. These monkeys have telepathic abilities and control the world.This page is dedicated to the Tribe of the Purple Monkeys.
History
The Society of the purple monkey has a deep history, that begins in Egypt. The first known record of the purple monkeys is in an appendix to the papyrus ani. This appendix can be found at the end of plate XXXIII. A direct translation of the appendix reads "To be said : Hail ye apes four these who sit in the bows of the boat of Ra". Egyptians beleived that a grey monkey operated the scales of value after death. The scale would balance one's heart(the symbol of which is a pot) against their ka(litterally translated a double, there actual body). As the monkeys controled the after life and they were known associates with Ra (the God of the Sun, King of Gods) they were of infinite importance to the Egyptians. This a gave them unimaginable power at their earliest stage in known human history. To your left is a funeral vignette from the Papyrus of Ani. The monkeys later appeared in the palace of Knossos on the island of Crete, in Greece. The palace of Knossos was the suspected home of the Minotaur. The monkeys however had changed to a blue state. The monkeys then disapeared. They returned in the middle ages. The alchemists of the time had discovered the existence of the monkeys and would summon them for their own purposes. The monkeys then caused the Dark Ages. It is very important to remember that the monkeys did not want to hurt mankind, but merely to co-exist. The monkeys once again dissapeared. Now there suspected home is in the amazon. This is a perfect area for the tribe of the purple monkeys. The area is vast and un-populated. The canopy provides shelter and also is a good home for a variety of herbs and plant life that encourages telepathy. In a quest to be left alone, the monkeys have taken control of the economy of the world. As a result they publish fake documents and sabotage projects that may expose them.
Telepathy
The tribe of the purple monkeys is telepathic. As humans evolved from apes by a physical process with only small intellectual differences. The monkeys however did not evolve physically but instead mentally. Even with their infinite intellegence and un-imaginable telepathic powers the monkeys still use only eighty percent of there brain. Also in the amazon there are special plants and herbs that help stimulate telepathic activies. Using their telepathic abilities the monkeys are able to travel around the earth at super sonic speeds and remain undetected. When someone claims to have seen an alien craft, it is really a younger purple monkey practicing traveling while not being seen. As they are not experienced at this there are glichs in there telepathic field which appear as light or a greyish mass.
How do they control the world
The purple monkeys control the world in many aspects. Firstly by controling key political leaders. The monkeys telepathically create holograms to resemble the selected person. This however is a difficult and strainous process. Due to its difficulties little mistakes will appear. The mistakes will resemble a nonfunctional body part ie: Jean Cretien, Bob Dole, Al Gore, Lucien Buchard, Bill Gates, T. Rosevelt, Stephen Hawkin. To have purchasing power on the market the monkeys get money through a clever way. Your Donations !! By claiming that they are with a group trying to protect the rainforests. People deciding that this is a worthy cause write cheques and send money. With all that money the monkeys purchased key stocks from key companies at key times. Being major stock holders they have large say in the direction of the companies.
What Can We Do ????
Remain Calm, the Tribe of the Purple Monkey poses no imidiate threat. They are peacefull and merely want to co-exist. As long as we don't go looking for them and try to retreive them for science they will not harm us.
A direct translation of the appendix reads "To be said : Hail ye apes four these who sit in the bows of the boat of Ra". Egyptians beleived that a grey monkey operated the scales of value after death. The scale would balance one's heart(the symbol of which is a pot) against their ka(litterally translated a double, there actual body). As the monkeys controled the after life and they were known associates with Ra (the God of the Sun, King of Gods) they were of infinite importance to the Egyptians. This a gave them unimaginable power at their earliest stage in known human history. To your left is a funeral vignette from the Papyrus of Ani. The monkeys later appeared in the palace of Knossos on the island of Crete, in Greece. The palace of Knossos was the suspected home of the Minotaur. The monkeys however had changed to a blue state. The monkeys then disapeared. They returned in the middle ages. The alchemists of the time had discovered the existence of the monkeys and would summon them for their own purposes. The monkeys then caused the Dark Ages. It is very important to remember that the monkeys did not want to hurt mankind, but merely to co-exist. The monkeys once again dissapeared. Now there suspected home is in the amazon. This is a perfect area for the tribe of the purple monkeys. The area is vast and un-populated. The canopy provides shelter and also is a good home for a variety of herbs and plant life that encourages telepathy. In a quest to be left alone, the monkeys have taken control of the economy of the world. As a result they publish fake documents and sabotage projects that may expose them.
