Does our past closeness, of both mental and physical nature,
creep into your thoughts as you are with the girl of "now"?
I was the first; I was the only one for awhile
What changed?
I know you didn't love me
I tried to love you
Did I scare you--or did you scare yourself?
Did our lack of conversation and excess of touch jar something?
Why did you hurt me?
You promised not to.
You promised it wouldn't happen
It did.
Now you won't face me, because it is "awkward"
Awkward for you
Painful for me.
**Mine**
Stale thoughts in my mind
recycled words
repeating, repeating, repeating
Skies and seas are nothing new.
Why can't I escape?
I thought I loved each of you
I thought I was cared for
Dropped by each, whether consented or protested (or not acknowledged)
Four isn't many-
Is one too much to ask for?
One right, that is
I know I'm young and naive
I still have hope; I want to love
I still have dreams; I want happiness
I still have a future; I want someone to share it with
Seventeen years of tears and grins
How many more to come?
How many more wrongs before I get it right?
How much more pain
How many more lies
Until I find you?
**Has**
The silence of the heart
has stolen into the mind
The fragile soul has wept
and left its body behind
The love has gone;
been lost for evermore
It will not come back
in another shape or form.
The dreamscape has changed
into a barren sahara.
The stars have lost their shine
The sky has become bare
The future would look bleak
if there was a future to come
But there are no worries
because there is none.
The wispy tendril of thought
has dried and blown away
The things that are left
will mold and decay
The blank stare of an eye,
and raspy, shallow breath
Mortals forget-
there are many forms of death.
**Sorrow of Joy**
Staring eyes and hanging maws
gaping wounds and broken claws
shields and swords abandoned on the ground
silence is the deafening sound
There are lost souls and castaways
There is no such thing as glory days
Sleeping souls and fragile minds
all connected by the rag that binds
ripped and torn, stained anew
blood of angels and dragons slew
shreds and shags and ivory teeth
thees and thys and i bequeeth
faeries, daemons, and men alike
together in this final fight
none survive, the wood is green
the cross has fallen; all are clean
the sky is black; the earth, white
save the debris that fell in the night
soon to be gone, soon to rise
All are with the Highest of Highs.
**The Unexpected Answer**
where are the splinters and other debris
blackness beyond is all i can see
was it a figure or merely by chance
the door without hinges has hidden the dance
wooden-laid floor doesn't reveal who has tread
what monster has come to hide under the bed
in the closet, behind the stand
what will reach out with a many-clawed hand
is it real or only a dream
things are not always as they seem
the space is there black and unknown
hiding exactly what seeds have been sown
my conscience and fear are worn down to the rind
the blackness beyond is all in our mind
**Nov. 1, 1984**
-For C.A.L.-
there is an alabaster city through which the wind sings
with towers made of dewdrops, angels' breath and butterfly wings
in this ever changing present the past holds no lies
all the hardships are forgotten, breathed away like little sighs
all time is lived by moment with no future nor a past
all children play together in a friendship that will last
this place is filled with wanderers, young and old alike
they yearn and search for something yet smile along their hike
all are searching for a tower with a faerie of golden hue
this spirit hides from everyone except the strong and true
the faerie gives to all who climb the ivory stairs
those travelers pure of heart enough are granted answers, wishes, prayers
among these wanderers are two lonely souls
neither knows the other; they walk on separate knolls
yet somehow both make it to the tower, tall and bright
they enter in together underneath the starry night
they climb the stairs flight by flight, knowing the spirit will be there
believing in their hearts she will treat them kindly, generously, and fair
now they've reached the apex, wanderers no more
her hand slips into his; this is what they've been searching for
they enter in the room wondering what answer they will find
they look to see a mirror reflecting their gift so kind
they embrace tightly thanking God and the stars above
their answer was each other, the most precious gift from the Spirit called Love
One star
Shining brightly overhead
glowing with a pure light
so radiant, all the world can see
One manger
overflowing with straw
holding the most precious Gift
man has ever received
One child
fragile and sweet
He came for us
to be our Savior
One God
One Love
One Life
Forever
Merry Christmas
**The New World**
I'm lost in my head
Nowhere to go
I look for a savior
but no one will show
I run in circles
trying to decide
Is it better to flee
or better to hide
Thoughts seize me
with grips so tight
Try to get away
with all my might
The devils of my head
are closing in
I wonder what was
my deadly sin
I thrash about
trying to survive
Just when I gave up
I came alive
I could see that this
was merely a dream
Of futures to come
or so it seemed
If we do not save ourselves
The world will not be safe to dwell
We will lock ourselves up in our minds
Our thoughts will destroy us in given time
Published in: The Teacher's Selection: Anthology of Poetry (Edition 1997) & Celebration of Young Poets (Fall 1999 Edition). The Unexpected Answer was also published in a Celebration of Young Poets edition, as well a a soon-to-be-released volume by the International Library of Poetry, and will be included with 32 other poems on a spoken-word CD, also released by the I.L.P.
All poems, etc. on this page are written by me, Mallory, so please don't kife them! I don't care if you need some for your English class, make up your own about an oak tree or something!
