RIPPED FROM TODAY'S HEADLINES!!!

SATAN TO REVISE BAR CODE SYSTEM

NEW YORK-Responding to retailers' calls to "streamline the Mark of the Beast," Satan announced plans Monday to make significant changes in the UPC symbol by the end of the millennium. "All men, small and great, rich and poor, slave and free, shall bear the mark of the beast," Satan said. The mark, "666," now hidden in every UPC symbol, may be more effective if burned directly onto consumers' foreheads or hands, according to National Reserve Board Chairman Alan Greenspan: "As foretold in the Book of Revelations, it shall come to pass that no man shall be able to buy or sell without the Mark of the Beast." The new bar code system will be introduced through a series of televised public service announcements featuring Friends star Matthew Perry and Satan, who will appear as a beast with seven heads and ten horns.

--The preceding appeared in the newspaper The Onion (emphasis added).

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Did you know about...

• VISA and Mastercard's top secret deals with Satan!
• UNICEF's flouridization of your children's water to make them submissive to the NWO!
• Bill Clinton's diet of blood!
• Your pastor's evil demonic pact with Hell to turn you and your family over to the coming global police force!
• The universal human control system being implemented in your head right now by tiny Satanic leprechauns!
• the UFO's that will be the chariot of Lord Ashtar Glaxxoid, the New Age Christ (or ANTICHRIST!!!)

Or, if you are interested in the TRUTH about Bible prophecy..... (click here if you dare)