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Quayle Bloopers
Press: Mr. Vice President, if you were to suddenly become President, do you think you would be up to the job?
Dan Quayle: If such an unfortunate thing were to happen, yes, I believe I would be.
San Jose Mercury News (3/31)
"I support efforts to limit the terms of members of Congress, especially members of the House and members of the Senate."
"Bobby Knight told me this: 'There is nothing that a good defense cannot beat a better offense.' In other words a good offense wins."
Vice President Dan Quayle comparing the offensive capabilities of the Warsaw Pact with the defensive system of NATO
"We are not ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
(from an interview with the Cleveland Plain Dealer)
"We offer the party as a big tent. How we do that within the platform, the preamble to the platform, or whatnot, that remains to be seen. But that message will have to be articulated with great clarity."
(This comment was awarded the British Golden Bull award.)
Space is almost infinite. As a matter of fact we think it is infinite.
Why wouldn't an enhanced deterrent, a more stable peace, a better prospect to denying the ones who enter conflict in the first place to have a reduction of offensive systems and an introduction to defensive capability. I believe that is the route this country will eventually go.
Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.
Mars is essentially in the same orbit... somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe.
Hawaii has always been a very pivotal role in the Pacific. It is IN the Pacific. It is a part of the United States that is an island that is right here. (Hawaii, September 1989)
What a terrible thing to have lost one's mind. Or not to have a mind at all. How true that is.
Vice President Dan Quayle winning friends while speaking to the United Negro College Fund
You all look like happy campers to me. Happy campers you are, happy campers you have been, and, as far as I am concerned, happy campers you will always be.
Vice President Dan Quayle, to the American Samoans, whose capital Quayle pronounces "Pogo Pogo"
Stumbling in response to a question about his opinion of the Holocaust during a news confrence, Quayle said it was "an obscene period in our nation's history." Then, trying to clarify his remark, he said "this century's history" and added a final confusing comment. "We all lived in this century, I didn't live in this century," he said. Thus, his entire statement was "The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history...this century's history.... We all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
Dan Quayle, then Indiana senator and Republican vice-presidential candidate
We expect them [Salvadoran officials] to work toward the elimination of human rights.
El Salvador is a democracy so it's not surprising that there are many voices to be heard here. Yet in my conversations with Salvadorans... I have heard a single voice.
I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.
If we do not succeed, then we run the risk of failure.
Vice President Dan Quayle, to the Phoenix Republican Forum, March 1990
It's rural America. It's where I came from. We always refer to ourselves as real America. Rural America, real America, real, real, America.
Target prices? How that works? I know quite a bit about farm policy. I come from Indiana, which is a farm state. Deficiency payments - which are the key - that is what gets money into the farmer's hands. We got loan, uh, rates, we got target, uh, prices, uh, I have worked very closely with my senior colleague, (Indiana Sen.) Richard Lugar, making sure that the farmers of Indiana are taken care of.
Vice President Dan Quayle on being asked to define the term "target prices." Quayle's press secretary then cut short the press conference, after two minutes and 30 seconds.
I not going to focus on what I have done in the past what I stand for, what I articulate to the American people. The American people will judge me on what I am saying and what I have done in the last 12 years in the Congress.
I want to be Robin to Bush's Batman.
We should develop anti-satellite weapons because we could not have prevailed without them in 'Red Storm Rising'.
The US has a vital interest in that area of the country.
Vice President Dan Quayle Referring to Latin America.
Japan is an important ally of ours. Japan and the United States of the Western industrialized capacity, 60 percent of the GNP, two countries. That's a statement in and of itself.
Who would have predicted... that Dubcek, who brought the tanks in in Czechoslovakia in 1968 is now being proclaimed a hero in Czechoslovakia. Unbelievable.
Vice President Dan Quayle [Actually, Dubcek was the leader of the Prague Spring.]
May our nation continue to be the beakon of hope to the world.
The Quayle's 1989 Christmas card. [Not a beacon of literacy, though.]
Well, it looks as if the top part fell on the bottom part.
Vice President Dan Quayle referring to the collapsed section of the 880 freeway after the San Francisco earthquake of 1989. [this may be a joke; the source is unclear, but it's still funny]
. . . getting [cruise missiles] more accurate so that we can have precise precision.
Vice President Dan Quayle referring to his legislative work dealing with cruise missiles
I can identify with steelworkers. I can identify with workers that have had a difficult time.
Vice President Dan Quayle addressing workers at an Ohio steel plant,1988
[I will never have] another Jimmy Carter grain embargo, Jimmy, Jimmy Carter, Jimmy Carter grain embargo, Jimmy Carter grain embargo.
Vice President Dan Quayle during the Benson debate
Certainly, I know what to do, and when I am Vice President -- and I will be -- there will be contingency plans under different sets of situations and I tell you what, I'm not going to go out and hold a news conference about it. I'm going to put it in a safe and keep it there! Does that answer your question?
Vice President Dan Quayle when asked what he would do if he assumed the Presidency,1988
Lookit, I've done it their way this far and now it's my turn. I'm my own handler. Any questions? Ask me ... There's not going to be any more handler stories because I'm the handler ... I'm Doctor Spin.
Vice President Dan Quayle responding to press reports of his aides having to, in effect, "potty train" him.
I would guess that there's adequate low-income housing in this country.
Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.
The real question for 1988 is whether we're going to go forward to tomorrow or past to the -- to the back!
We will invest in our people, quality education, job opportunity, family, neighborhood, and yes, a thing we call America.
Vice President Dan Quayle, 1988
We'll let the sunshine in and shine on us, because today we're happy and tomorrow we'll be even happier.
Vice President Dan Quayle, 1988
We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world.
This election is about who's going to be the next President of the United States!
Vice President Dan Quayle, 1988
Don't forget about the importance of the family. It begins with the family. We're not going to redefine the family. Everybody knows the definition of the family. [Meaningful pause] A child. [Meaningful pause] A mother. [Meaningful pause] A father. There are other arrangements of the family, but that is a family and family values.
I've been very blessed with wonderful parents and a wonderful family, and I am proud of my family. Anybody turns to their family. I have a very good family. I'm very fortunate to have a very good family. I believe very strongly in the family. It's one of the things we have in our platform, is to talk about it.
I suppose three important things certainly come to my mind that we want to say thank you. The first would be our family. Your family, my family -- which is composed of an immediate family of a wife and three children, a larger family with grandparents and aunts and uncles. We all have our family, whichever that may be ... The very beginnings of civilization, the very beginnings of this country, goes back to the family. And time and time again, I'm often reminded, especially in this Presidential campaign, of the importance of a family, and what a family means to this country. And so when you pay thanks I suppose the first thing that would come to mind would be to thank the Lord for the family.
Why wouldn't an enhanced deterrent, a more stable peace, a better prospect to denying the ones who enter conflict in the first place to have a reduction of offensive systems and an introduction to defensive capability. I believe that is the route this country will eventually go.
No, I had no problem communicating with Latin American heads of state - though now I do wish I had paid more attention to Latin when I was in high school.
Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.
The future will be better tomorrow.
People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history.
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it.
(reported in Esquire, 8/92)
Murphy Brown is doing better than I am. At least she knows she still has a job next year.
For NASA, space is still a high priority.
Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children.
The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make.
We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made.
[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system.
...Buzz Lukens took that fateful step...
Vice President Dan Quayle confusing the sexual assaulter/congressman with Astronaut Buzz Aldren.
Dan Quayle was in South America and was presented with an empty box that was to contain a gift from a sailing team. He was told that the gift was not ready yet, and that it would be presented to him when they arrived in the United States. Qauyle said: "Ok, I won't open it until then."
During the White House Easter Egg Roll of 1991, Quayle signed autographs using only his finger. He had prepared pre-signed cards which his aides handed out while he made signing gestures. This allowed him to move briskly and efficiently through the crowd, said his spokesman.
Dan Quale, in April 1991, was concerned that his advisors may be getting out of touch with "Real Americans." In order to combat this, he suggested that they read People magazine.
People that are really very wierd can get into sensative positions and have a tremendous impact on history.
I stand by all the misstatements that I've made.
I'm going to be a vice president very much like George Bush was. He proved to be a very effective vice president, perhaps the most effective we've had in a couple of hundred years.
The loss of life will be irreplaceable.
Vice President Dan Quayle after the San Francisco earthquake
Let me tell you something. As we were walking around in the store, Marilyn and I were just really impressed by all the novelties and the different types of little things that you could get for Christmas. And all the people that would help you, they were dressed up in things that said 'I believe in Santa
Claus.' And the only thing that I could think is that I believe in George Bush.
Vice President Dan Quayle at a garden center and produce store in Baltimore (from the Los Angeles Times, Douglas Jehl, November 6, 1988)
It's a very valuable function and requirement that you're performing, so have a great day and keep a stiff upper lip.
Vice President Dan Quayle remarks to oil spill clean-up workers at Prince William Sound, May, 1989
The President is going to benefit from me reporting directly to him when I arrive.
Vice President Dan Quayle remarks to oil spill clean-up workers at Prince William Sound, May, 1989
It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.
We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a *part* of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a *part* of Europe.
Vice President Dan Quayle
I could take this home, Marilyn. This is something teenage boys might find of interest.
Vice President Dan Quayle, when purchasing a South African Indian Doll that, when lifted, dislpays an erection.
When you make as many speeches and you talk as much as I do and you get away from the text, it's always a possibility to get a few words tangled here and there
Vice President Dan Quayle defending himself (LA Herald Examiner 10/3/88)
"Public Speaking is very easy."
Vice President Dan Quayle to reporters in 10/88
"I happen to be a Republican president- ah, the vice president."
Vice President Dan Quayle (Newsweek 4/9/90)
I've never professed to be anything but an average student.
Vice President Dan Quayle during the VP debate in Omaha, Nebraska (10/88)
The other day [the President] said, I know you've had some rough times, and I want to do something that will show the nation what faith that I have in you, in your maturity and sense of responsibility. (He paused, then said) Would you like a puppy?
Vice President Dan Quayle (LA Times 5/21/89)
In George Bush you get experience, and with me you get- The Future!
Vice President Dan Quayle in eastern Illinois (LA Times 10/19/88)
I've been told to keep my remarks relatively brief. I understand Quayle-hunting season begins at noon.
Vice President Dan Quayle to a crowd in Eau Claire, Wisc. (LA Times 10/16/88)
The destruction, it is just very heart-rendering.
Vice President Dan Quayle attempting to say the SF earthquake wreckage was heart-rending
(Newsweek 10/30/89)
I spend a great deal of time with the President. We have a very close, personal, loyal relationship. I'm not, as they say, a potted plant in these meetings.
Vice President Dan Quayle defending himself (Tampa Tribune-Times 1/7/90)
When I talked to him on the phone yetserday. I called him George rather than Mr. Vice President. But, in public, it's Mr. Vice President, because that is who he is.
Vice President Dan Quayle shortly after being named George Bush's running mate (8/28/88 the NY Times).
I'm glad you asked me that. This gives me the perfect opportunity to talk about the problems with this Congress...
Vice President Dan Quayle responding to reporter's questions about his use of Air force 2 to go on golf trips at the cost of $26,000/hour
The other day (the President said, I know you've had some rough times. I want to do something that will show the nation what faith that I have in your maturity and sense of responsibility. (He paused, then said) Would you like a puppy?
I have made good judgements in the past. I have made good judgements in the future.
I was known as the chief grave robber in my state.
I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican.
In George Bush you get experience, and with me you get The Future!
Dan QuayleLA Times 10/19/88
I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix.
Dan Quayle Speech to the Christian Coalition
My friends, no matter how rough the road may be, we can and we will never surrender to what is right.
Dan Quayle Speech to the Christian Coalition
We are leaders of the world of the space program. We have been the leader of the world of our... of the space program and we're not going to continue with where we're going to go, notwithstanding the Soviet Union's demise and its collapse - the former Soviet Union - we now have independent republics which used to be called the Soviet Union. Space is the next frontier to be explored. And we're going to explore. Think of all the things we rely upon from space today: communications from... Japan, detection of potential ballistic missile attacks. Ballistic missiles are still here. Other nations do have ballistic missiles. How do you think we were able to detect some of the Soviet missiles and things like that? Space, reconnaissance, weather, communication - you name it. We use space a lot today.
Who's responsible for the riots? The rioters!
Quayle's analysis of the LA riots to Herb Caen, SF Chronicle
Speaking as a man, it's not a woman's issue. Us men are tired of losing our women.
DanQuayle Quayle talking about breast cancer.
I deserve respect for the things I did not do.
DanQuayle Old campaign/election material
I feel that this (1981) is my first year, that next year is an election year, that the third year is the midd point and that the fourth year is the last chance I'll have to make a record since the last two years, I'll be a candidate again. Everything I do in those last two years will be posturing for the election. But right now I don't have to do that.
DanQuayle Old campaign/election material
"This president is going to lead us out of the recovery. It will happen."
Fesno, California January 16, 1992 --- Vice President Dan Quayle
We are ready for an unforseen event that may or may not occur.
For NASA, space is still a high priority.
The U.S. victory in the Gulf War was a stirring victory for the forces of aggression.
The best thing about rain forests is they never suffer from drought.
The global importance of the Middle East is that it keeps the Near East and the Far East from encroaching on each other.
Our party has been accused of fooling the public by calling the tax increases, "revenue enhancement." Not so. No one was fooled.
People are not homeless if they're sleeping in the streets of their own hometowns.
Republicans have been acused of abandoning the poor. It's the other way around. They never vote for us.
Bank failures are caused by depositors who don't deposit enough money to cover losses due to mismanagement.
Air travel efficiency would improve if more travelers started going to less popular places.
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