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December 14, 1998

Well, another year nearly come and gone. It's hard to come to terms with the fact that it's December. I've told many friends that I've been stuck in September and am only slowly catching up. Made it into November just as December 1st came around. I can still remember last December well. It was a pretty stressful month. A lot of things was packed into that month, and I barely even noticed the coming of 1998 that last day of December. Just a passing wonder of what 1998 would be like.

Well, a lot less updates, that's for sure!

And a lot of changes.

Time goes so fast the older you get. Sucks, really.

Too many things crammed into so little time.

I've been seeing a lot of death this past year. Or maybe, I'm just growing more aware of it. I don't know. 1997 was etched in memorable passings..but it's different this year. A lot closer to home. I went back to my old school for the first time in many months to gather with some former classmates. Our former teacher had passed away suddenly. A family friend's youngest daughter passed away just as suddenly. So did someone's grandmother. A group of kids who everyone I seem to come in contact with knew were burned to death in a horrible car crash. Friendships gone--which in, itself, is sort of a death. And people changing so much, they feel a part of themselves dying.

Sad stuff. Horrible stuff.

And still, life goes on. People continue their lives however they know how. Some distance themselves. Others bury themselves.

And we're all back at the end of a leg..a stretch in our journey..at the edge of another. A little wondering of what the future will bring, a little excitement at the thought and a little tiredness of what has happened.

'Cause with each death, there's another "birth". It seems that way, if we step back a little. Each ending, there's a beginning. Sometimes significant beginnings, sometimes just plain silly.

So we stand at the end of a year and the beginning of a year. And the next year, an end of a millenium and a beginning of another (unless you consider 2001 to be the rightful start). What will happen next, eh?

In thinking of this scribble, when it was just one of those fuzzy thoughts --still is, really-- I remember what those people who say about annual events. You know, like those annual concerts.. or annual celebrations.. or even annual parades. At the end of those events, they'd say, "And this was the best blah-blah-blah we've had yet!" ... And they never fail to say that every year. Funny, actually. Or, depending on how "sincere" they try to be--annoying as hell. But life's like that, not always, but usually...from time to time, at least. We look back, and think, "Geez. What a year. And I thought the year before that was something!"

And it keeps up being that way. Sometimes I wish it wouldn't. For once, a year that was just...okay. No extra-ordinary stuff. But who am I kidding? I need the rest, sure. I really need the rest, but... I'd be bored out of my mind. Imagine, nothing to complain about, nothing to really share, nothing to write about.. and really, nothing to think about. Nothing to change me, to challenge me to be better... different...or worse.

Oh well. To an.."interesting" 1999. May it toss you upside down, inside out, cause you to cry, laugh, wonder, make a few changes in your surroundings--coloring it a bit.. and hopefully, not beat you up too much.

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