MOM'S LAST CHRISTMAS
PRESENT
by
Brother James A. Petrait,
O.S.F.S.
It was Christmas morning of 1993, a time to celebrate the joyous
occasion of the birthday of Jesus our Lord and Savior. But, for me,
it was also a time of sadness, for it was the time when my mother,
Antonina, my dearest mom, passed away into eternal life. However, in
the sadness there was given to me a profound message of joy, my mom's
wonderful Christmas present to me. Hopefully, I will be able to
explain that paradox to you.
Mom's health had been failing for the past several years mainly from
a progressive case of degenerative arthritis with complications of
broken bones caused by several falls. Dad passed away from cancer on
New Year's Eve of 1983, so my brother and I made sure that she had
the best of care despite the poor health care system that we have in
United States.
During early summer of 1993, mom developed another complication which
had the symptom of frequent nausea. After a miserable stay at a local
Philadelphia hospital which was staffed by many doctors and nurses
who cared more about their pocketbooks than their patients, it was
determined that they could not do any more for her even though she
really was not any better. Luckily, we were able to find one caring
doctor who was able to have mom admitted into a physical rehabilation
hospital since our inadequate health care system has no rehabilation
programs for patients with nausea.
At the rehab hospital, mom did well with the exercises and the care
given to her from most of the staff. However, her nausea would not
stop. It was around early August when during one of my visits to mom
in the hospital, I bought her a copy of the Catholic Digest magazine
to read. On the back of the magazine was an ad for a rosary bracelet
which was available from the Oblates of Mary Immaculate for a
donation. Mom asked me to send for it for her. I asked her why and
she said it was because she was going to die by Christmas and she
wanted to be laid out with the rosary bracelet on her wrist. Telling
her not to talk like that, I did send for the rosary bracelet not
even thinking that my mom's prediction would come true.
Mom recovered enough to return from the rehab hospital and for a
while her nausea seemed to stop but then it started up again around
the same time that she had another fall. So she was again eligible
for a stay at the rehab hospital.While there,a nurse indicated that
there were signs that the nausea was due to a serious condition which
required other medical tests. The tests indicated the presence of an
obstruction in mom's intestine. It was determined that an operation
would be necessary and it took place on the feast day of our Lady of
Guadalupe. After a few days, mom was able to eat and it looked like
she could recover but then the nausea started again, and it was
determined that the cancerous growth removed from mom's intestine had
continued to grow and to spread into other organs of her body.
Nothing else could be done, her condition precluded any more
operations.
A week before her death, my new Bishop had his first Mass at my
parish on St.Croix. I was invited to give one of the offertory
intercessions. I included a prayer that my mom would find peace and
that her suffering would end. On Monday, December 20,my brother
called and said that Mom only had a few days to live and that I
should come to Philadelphia as soon as possible. So on Wednesday
morning, I was able to visit my mother in the hospital. She was
suffering greatly and could hardly talk but she was able to recognize
me and say hello. So I spend the next 2 days saying many rosaries and
other prayers for my mom while trying to keep my tears away. To keep
her mind occupied, the TV was on much of the time and while I was
there, the song, Silent Night, was sung during one of the programs. I
know that my mother heard it and I knew then that she was going to
die on Christmas day. As the hospital closed on Christmas eve, I told
my brother that mom would die on Christmas making her prediction come
true.
On Christmas morning, I went to the 8 AM Mass at my mom's parish
Church. I prayed for mom during the service which was held in the
beautifully-decorated upper Church and afterwards stopped at the
manger scene and picked up some straw, following an old tradition, to
give to mom. After Mass, I stopped and visited the parish priests and
updated them on mom's condition. Then I walked back to mom's house by
way of the main avenue. Sitting on the steps of an abandoned house
was a "bag lady" shivering in the cold. I could not pass her by
without wishing her Christmas greetings. I also gave her some of the
straw from the manger and asked her prayers for my mom and urged her
to get the help that was available to the homeless. The joy in her
smile was unforgetable. Then I walked another block down the avenue
and my brother was waiting for me in his car. Mom had passed away
around 8 AM at the hospital. Although I was overcome by sadness at
mom's departure, she left her best Christmas present for me by
receiving the privilege of being born to eternal life on the same
date that Jesus was born to His earthly life. She also reaffirmed my
faith in Jesus and the afterlife by all of the events surrounding her
death.
Mom was buried a few days later with her rosary bracelet after the
Mass at the same, beautifully-decorated parish upper Church where the
manger scene was still set up as it was on Christmas morning. I
selected Silent Night as one of the hymns that was sung at the
liturgy and after being buried with my dad, the first snowfall of the
season covered up their grave in silent flakes of peace. Later the
Bishop of my diocese told me that mom is in heaven and I know she is
and I hope to be with her someday. Meanwhile, the "bag lady" of the
avenue took my advice and I never saw her again. But I will never
forget her smile and I will never forget my mom's last Christmas
present.
MY MOM, ANTONINA
PETRAIT
