Why The CDC Is Unmanly
Apart from the  EPA, the Center for Disease Control is probably the one branch of government that has stepped most unnecessarily into the realm of issue advocacy during the last eight years.  While the EPA has long been a thorn in the side of private property owners and state governments, the CDC has made dufus remarks about gun violence being a social problem-- a la drug abuse-- which requires government intervention.  It has also rather unceremoniously stepped into an area almost as holy to me as guns:  beer.

After a prolonged study which cost God knows how much, the CDC came to the conclusion that alcohol use leads to irresponsible sexual behavior and a higher rate of certain STDs.  Duh.  The report then made the unholy conclusion that the solution to such a "problem" would be to raise taxes on my beloved beer!!

This is blasphemous for at least two reasons:  (1) it makes the national pastime of beer drinking more expensive, and (2) it greatly hinders man's ability to return sanity to women by pouring excessive amounts of booze down their throats.

You see, these days women are brought up to think that they are capable of rational thought.  The truth is that they aren't, but through extensive brainwashing and "education," they are taught that they can think just as well as a man.  Now listen and listen carefully.  It can be said that women can think as well as men when it comes to things like cooking,  laundering and maybe even calculus, which requires the memorization of lots of useless and irrational theorums.  However, they are never capable of unassisted rational thought.  They have to be guided through it by men who know the way to sanity.  It's kind of like describing the autumn colors to a blind man.  You know he'll never see a damn thing, and probably won't even imagine the scene right in his mind, but you can tell him what it's like and he can at least partially understand.

Beer factors in where rational thought is concerned because it helps push women into a world where things are much more black and white, right and wrong.  While men are the natural material providers, beer assists in relegating women to their innate status of physical provider.  In other words, I'll bring home the bacon and you provide me with children and dinner.  It is far easier to explain that simple concept to a woman who is under the influence than it is to one who is sober.  The unfortunate side effect to this may be a rise in STD rates, but the universal benefits obviously outweigh the pain of an occasional discharge or the scars of herpes.

In this world of so-called educated women, it's far too hard for them to understand their natural place.  Beer has a vital role in securing that place for them.  This is why taxes must not be raised on beer and why the CDC is inherently unmanly.
 
 


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