Cornell vs UCSD

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From: jjc7@cornell.edu (Jason Jiyon Cho)
Date: Mon, 8 Apr 1996 14:11:24 -0400 (EDT)
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Subject: Hmmm....
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Some subtle differences between UCSD and Cornell...

* Elitism *
Cornell: Looking down on IK
UCSD: Looking down on SDSU
Next question: is IK looking down on TC3 more dramatic than SDSU looking
down on SDCC?

* Mascot *
UCSD: The Triton, a god-ish-looking aquatic personage, with a trident, a
 staff with three little pointy things at the end
Cornell: The Red. The Big Red. The Bear. A red bear? Or the Red bear?
 Unarmed (though perhaps protected by the Endangered Species Act)
Decision: the Triton would kick the bear all over the globe, except I
 don't think he can live outside the ocean.

* Administrative Lunacy *
Stupid name change at Cornell: Alberding Field House --> Athletic Field House
Stupid name change at UCSD: Center Academic Building --> Center Hall


* Student Activities *
Cornell: 450 registered organizations, with the same 100 people in all
UCSD: 100 registered organizations, with the same 100 people in all
This explains: why Cornell's admissions brochure is thicker

* Political Activism *
Cornell: The people, united, will never be defeated!
UCSD: The same, but without guilty white people to mess up the rhythm
Also: more people at Cornell know how to say it in Spanish

* More on the same *
UCSD: Six student publications which nobody reads.
Cornell: Nineteen student publications which nobody reads.
But: 13 of the 19 are dumped before they're read anyway

* More on the same *
UCSD: Protests in favor of illegal immigrants, 30 miles from the border
Cornell: Protests in favor of illegal immigrants, 30 miles from civilization

* Architecture *
Cornell: Venerable buildings from the 1800s; ugly buildings from the 60s
UCSD: Ugly buldings from the 60s
But: UCSD doesn't have hard-to-pronounce names like Olive Tjaden Hall or
 Schoellkopf Field House

* Climate *
Cornell: Cold and wet; but I'm inside all day anyway
UCSD: Sunny and warm; but I'm inside all day anyway

* Athletic Prowess *
Cornell: Laughingstock of Division I
UCSD: Average nobody in Division III
Of course: the UCSD surfing team would probably demolish Cornell's, and
 vice versa in cross-country skiing.

* Lifestyles *
Cornell: "I can't go out, I'm too busy. I have to study"
UCSD: "I finished my work, but there's nothing to do. Let's study more."

The Greek system: what's that?

* Environmental Protection *
UCSD: Ecological preserve where creatures long thought extinct live on
Cornell: Maoists in the faculty
Scripps: Tell Helmy they wouldn't let me in either (without a faculty ID)

* Technological Research *
Cornell: National Nanofabrication Lab and National Supercomputing Center
UCSD: Center for Magnetic Recording Research
Do I care?: No.

* Housing *
UCSD: Expensive; La Jolla is a resort area
Cornell: Expensive; freakin' greedy townies
Then again: $1200, collegetown slum. $1200, condo with ocean view.

* Parking *
UCSD: Scarce and expensive.
Cornell: Scarcer and expensiver.
Anyway: it doesn't really matter. The only parking spot I could find
 this morning is about the same distance to either campus.

* Social Life *
UCSD: attractive women who by and large ignore me
Cornell: average women who by and large ignore me
No comment.
--
So in other words, there's really no difference between universities
anywhere in the country. Then again, four out of five Cornell colleges
are not named for John Muir, Eleanor Roosevelt, Thurgood Marshall, and
Earl Warren (the first, to salve any insult suffered by Eric Johnson, I
would not mind so much except it is the college with the sociology and
women's studies departments). So tell Cort I don't love it and tell
Olney-- Chris Olney-- I don't hate it.

Sorry for dragging on, but I only have 8 credits, and suffice to say that
class becomes truly slow at a school with an average SAT score 200 points
below Cornell's.

So entertain me, already.

The exiled
JasonC
jjc7@cornell.edu