You Might Be a Cornell Liberal If...

Received: from nrcstest.cit.cornell.edu (nrcstest.cit.cornell.edu
[132.236.69.176]) by postoffice.mail.cornell.edu (8.7.5/8.7.3) with ESMTP id
RAA03406; Mon, 1 Apr 1996 17:41:06 -0500 (EST)
Received: (from daemon@localhost) by nrcstest.cit.cornell.edu (8.7.5/8.7.3) id
RAA13082; Mon, 1 Apr 1996 17:41:14 -0500 (EST)
Received: from nrcstest.cit.cornell.edu (nrcstest.cit.cornell.edu
[132.236.69.176]) by nrcstest.cit.cornell.edu (8.7.5/8.7.3) with SMTP id
RAA13079; Mon, 1 Apr 1996 17:41:13 -0500 (EST)
X-PH: V4.1@nrcstest.cit.cornell.edu (Cornell Modified)
From: jjc7@cornell.edu (Jason Jiyon Cho)
Date: Mon, 1 Apr 1996 17:41:13 -0500 (EST)
X-Sender: jjc7@nrcstest.cit.cornell.edu
To: brh1@cornell.edu (Bruce Robert Hudson),
        jmm21@cornell.edu (Jason Michael Matyas),
        dcw2@cornell.edu (Donald Cloyce Wagda),
        mdw13@cornell.edu (Michael David Waldron),
        jbs1@cornell.edu (Jason Brett Schwartz),
        foq1@cornell.edu (Frederick Otto Quenzer), Lothar11@aol.com
cc: janet@uclink.berkeley.edu, jjc7@cornell.edu (Jason Jiyon Cho)
cc: janet@uclink.berkeley.edu, jjc7@cornell.edu (Jason Jiyon Cho)
Subject: You might be a liberal if ... (fwd)
Message-ID: 
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII
Status: RO
X-Status:

I need help with these. A friend forwarded a list from UMinnesota like
this. These I made up partially based on his, seeing as I have only one
class a day here and nothing else to do.

--
Are you a Cornell liberal? You might be if ...

* You've ever bought Tupperware from the Cornell Greens standing outside
Trillium in order to save the landfills.

* You protested the expansion of Mann Library as endangering the last

* You use your frosh dorm recycling mug for anything other than holding pens.

* You have ever injured yourself by catching a body ring on the doorjamb
of the ABC Cafe, or by hauling Cornell Americans into the garbage on the
fifth floor of the Straight.

* Your name came up when filling Student Assembly committee assignments.

* Your e-mail folder is full of messages from any listserv with a Spanish
 name.

* You have been quoted correctly by the Cornell Daily Sun.

* You booed at Janet Reno last October for the Justice Department's role in
the plight of the black male.

* You left a dorm presentation thinking "My RA really knows what
he/she/it is talking about."

* You lie awake at night worrying that the Christians might get you.

* You visit the CIVITAS office regularly, because Cornell students should
give Ithacites more than just an economy and buses to drive.

* You support the gay living center for reasons other than "Yeah, get
them the hell away from normal people."

* You're worried that President Hunter "William Jefferson Clinton"
Rawlings is league with Collegetown capitalist bourgeoisie, the Greek
system, and Joe Sabia to spread the AIDS virus among minorities.

* Cornell wasn't your third choice after Harvard and Stanford. It's your
* You have the menu Stella's Cafe memorized.

* You met your current partner when he/she/it commented on your Nader '96
button at Quill and Dagger initiation.

* You are able to argue coherently about the relative merits of Oasis
Organic Grocery and the Greenstar Cooperative.

* You have ever chanted "The people united will never be defeated."

* Double that if you have chanted it in any language other than English.

* You have ever spent the night on campus in a cardboard box in Ho Plaza
(protesting the Contract), in a sleeping bag in the lobby of Goldwin Smith,
(protesting financial aid cuts) or on a blanket on Libe Slope (waiting for
Indigo Girls tickets).

* Your car features any of the following bumper stickers: "Hate is not a
family value"; "Practice random acts of beauty and senseless acts of
violence"; "College of Human Ecology Alum"

* Your typical schedule consists of one-word courses like "Mushrooms"
(Plant Science), "Sex" (Human Service Studies), or "Indians" (Rural
Sociology).

* You have ever been named in a libel lawsuit by Professors Maas or Aist.

and the expected,

* You can't decide between the Hillel speech, the Julie Chon for Trustee
victory party, or the Pastors for Peace symposium, so you
tell you friends "I'm goin' ta UJE!"
--
The exiled
JasonC
jjc7@cornell.edu