Characteristics of an Abusive Partner


  • Witnessed their mothers being abused by their fathers.
  • Were victims of abuse as a child.
  • Experience great fear about losing partner.
  • Believe that expressions of feelings are an indication of weakness
  • Turn hurt, fear, loss and/or guilt into anger and the anger into action (abusiveness).
  • Have low self-esteem.
  • Generally a traditionalist at home, believing in male supremacy and the stereotyped masculine sex role of dominance in the family.
  • Blame others for their actions.
  • Often demonstrate great jealousy of partner's friends and/or activities outside of the relationship.
  • Have great difficulty in trusting partners or others.
  • Are generally isolated from friends and family having primarily superficial relationships.
  • Present a dual personality, alternating from extreme tenderness to extreme aggressiveness.
  • Generally do not feel their violent behavior should have negative consequences.
  • Believe that the world is a hostile place to be and aggression is a means of survival.

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This information was given to me as a handout by the Angels at SARC - The Sexual Assault/Spouse Abuse Resource Center in BelAir, MD, where I went for assistance. I don't know the original source of the information to be able to give proper credit to it's originator. I wish I did.
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