A little bit of history. A&M was designed with its students in mind. To this end, it strives regularly to build new buildings so that once they get rich, all Aggies can donate lots of money to the school and get a building named after them.
Check out the marvel of the Clayton Williams Alumni Center. This guy had some serious cash. This comes from the guy who would have bought himself the governorship of Texas if he wouldn't have got caught telling a few dirty jokes. The building is a spec tacle. From the outside it appears that you can see right through it. It's the building for the alumni. It better be nice.
Next up is Kyle field. Even though it only gets filled to capacity once every two years, we're planning on a major expansion. We even replaced the artificial turf with grass because a few athletes complained. Now that we can't officially pay them, we h ave to respond to their every beck and call.
Next to Kyle field you can see some old decrepit athletic facilities. White, Deware, and Down's estates have finally run out of cash, thus we can now rip the buildings down and build some new ones named after the new rich. Across the railroad tracks you can see the construction of the new sports arena. Think, for just a few million dollars, you too could have your name affixed to a building with brand new Aggie traditions.
Now we go on to the MSC and the Rudder Theater complex. These are the buildings that most people see when they come to A&M. You will notice they are in excellent condition, and would make a beautiful place for your next convention. On the top floor , we even have the exclusive faculty club, where you don't have to put up with crowds of students.
Now if you follow me, we'll look at the student's buildings. The Academic Building was a masterpiece during its time. It remains one of the oldest buildings on campus, and even looks a lot like the capitol. However, it is in dire need of repair. But, alas, we have no money for that. However, for a mere $4 million, we could restore it back to excellent condition, and even attach your name to it.
The Harrington Classroom wing is just plain ugly. But, the freshman are supposed to suffer in their weed-out classes, so we're keeping it that way.
Next, the Blocker Building. It could also be a nice building, if someone would bother cleaning it. Unfortunately, today it looks as if a few rare species are on the walls. But, we never know what the College of Science is up to.
The big cement block across from McDonalds is where the Engineers hang out. We all know engineers are kind of weird. (Oh, but once the graduate and get rich, they're some of the best people around.) Thus it makes sense that their building is just kind of ugly and has a cramped feeling. Even the big open space inside makes you feel like your a victim of a cruel experiment. The sun doesn't even seem to enter out of it's own volition.
The other big block a little ways down is the Architecture building. The design originally won a grand prize in freshman architectural design class.
Concluding our tour, we reach the Evan's library. As you'll notice, we're doing heavy construction outside, starting with a brand new building for the coke machines. Also, as you look inside, you'll notice a brand new desk.
Thank you for coming on this tour, and remember, for a small investment of just a few million dollars, we can build a new building with your name on it. And, unlike the other university, we don't care if your company had been polluting the environment.
We just want your money.
-4/8/96
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