Summer 1997 - Yawn!


Men In Black
Rating: 9 out of 10 people already knew Rodman was an alien

Finally a decent summer movie. I’m not sure what the plot was (the brief explanations were inaudible as the theatre was filled with laughter), but the film is just plain entertaining. Wil Smith continues his wild and crazy antics, delivering a great string of one-liners, and Tommy Lee Jones is great as a serious somber man secretly fighting off aliens. The film rockets through its story quickly, and delights with a large string of diverse aliens and interesting gadgets. Danny Elfman provides an excellent score that keeps the movie humming along. It’s the first major movie of the summer worth seeing again. (And we’ve always known Dennis Rodman was an alien...)

Batman and Robin
Rating: The first 2 out of 10 minutes of this movie were worth seeing

Walk in. Watch the opening credits. Stay for the hockey scene. Leave. It’s all downhill from there. The credits were some of the best around, and the opening score showed so much promise, but it just didn’t deliver. George Clooney is the worst Batman yet. Schwarznegger should refund his giant paycheck. Alicia Silverstone doesn’t even look cute. Holy Batgarbage.

Speed 2: Cruise Control
Rating: 3 out of 10 people thinking Keanu did the right thing by bailing

See the original. The thumping Speed score has been replaced by a bunch of quasi-Caribbean mish-mash. The opening cycle chase gives a hint of excitement as the original theme hums along, but it goes downhill from there. There are some cool jokes that would have really worked if Keanu Reves was there. Luckily, it seems he made the right decision. A deaf girl is the most redeeming player. And a question, if you were on an oil tanker and saw a cruise ship speeding towards you, wouldn’t you abandon ship?

Lost World: Jurassic Park
Rating: 6 out of 10 T-rex's are hungry

The dinosaurs are awesome. The plot and theme are week. You can catch some great scares, and see some of the best special effects. However, the philosophy and interest of the original are missing. The score provides some exiting moments, but it seems John Williams is a little past his action scoring prime. See it once.


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