you oughtta be in pictures.

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dateline: oZena

12 august 1996 1:26 a.m.

We shoulda gone to see "Trainspotting." I think I actually annoyed Derek tonight... for a little while. "Chain Reaction" was just begging for a MST3k treatment, and I gave it one. Unfortunately, Derek was still trying to derive some sort of meaning from the movie while I'd given up hope by the second line. I was making wisecracks any chance I got (yes, I'm one of those moviegoers). Thankfully, he chilled out by the first Big Explosion. I also stopped the running commentary after a while and resorted to mean-spirited snickering. The man has never watched MST3k. How deprived. (That reminds me, the pre-nosejob Demi was in "Master Ninja" -- thanks Jarret.) We continued our tradition of fine dining by eating "dinner" in the theater. Highway robbery... but who hasn't had a rant about that? Waikiki was bustling tonight. The leaflet-passing Mormons were out in droves, as were the ISPs. There was a major convention of 'em outside the new Armani eXchange store, and the primly dressed saleswomen inside were none to pleased. I dragged Derek in to find out a simple white T-shirt with "A|X" on it was $20, and a baseball cap with same was $28. Found a lot of black dresses and blouses that were kinda nice (they oughtta be for $110). We both work tomorrow (or rather, today), so it was a pretty swift walk back to his car, and too quickly I'm back in my warm apartment pecking out a sarcastic review. Hey, there's another Val Kilmer movie coming out. "The Island of Dr. Moreau." Now that guy could wipe the floor with Keanu... Now it's a commercial for the new "Tales from the Crypt" movie. Dennis Miller should be banned via an international treaty from trying to grow a beard. Speaking of Millers, Jonny Lee Miller (the star of "Hackers") is one of the leads in "Trainspotting" (can you tell I want to see it bad? It looks kinda like "Shallow Grave," and I loved that movie). I'm starting to get disjointed. Worse even than my last entry, I bet. Still hungry. I think I'm going to make quickie tuna casserole (a la Jen). All it takes is a can o'soup, some frozen peas, milk, cheap egg noodles and about ten minutes. Bachelorette cuisine at its best. Ah, the CBS Power Pack! In tonight's episode, Xena and Gabrielle come across The Amazon Women. I'm not kidding. A bunch of buff blondes in skimpy suede outfits (secretly fitted with WonderBra® technology). Actually, I'm pretty sure a large part of this show is engineered towards clothes fetishists. At least once per show, Xena or her sidekick has to disguise herself in everything from long velvet gowns to chain mail. This particular story is also reeking with lesbianism. They really love computer effects too. The centaurs (half Fabio, half Trigger) aren't too convincing in this episode, but overall it's not bad for a small New Zealand outfit. Amazon Queen: "Do you really want to fight me to the death?" Gabrielle: "Not really." I can't remember if I was born at two in the morning or in the afternoon. If my history of being a pain in the butt (pun maliciously intended) for my mom is any indication, it's probably the former. Eighteen hours of labor, followed by eighteen years of real trauma. I turn twenty-two tomorrow. Not a special number by any means, but on the other hand I all but slept through my twenty-first birthday so I've got some partying to make up for. If I stay up much later, though, I might be looking at a rerun.