take a bow.

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dateline: oZpad

14 october 1996 11:56 p.m.

I don't care what the goofs at work say, I think Madonna will be an awesome mom. Considering how badly things sucked today, the news of the birth of the Material Girl's munchkin made my day. Lourdes Maria Ciccone Leon. I think I owe someone lunch -- I bet that she'd name the kid Xena or Jesus. Can't really say much else for her except it almost figures the girl's a Libra. Irony being what it is, she's probably going to grow up to be a nun. Hype or no hype, I'm going nuts waiting for "Evita." It's probably my second or third favorite musical by Webber, and I knew the minute they said they were going to make a movie that Madonna was perfect for the role. I may be short and have the singing voice of a tortured goose, but I greatly admire Madonna Louise Veronica Ciccone (although frankly I'd stick with just "Madonna" too). I know lots of people won't agree, but I think she's a feminist who yet excels at enjoying, exploring, and yes, exploiting her femininity. The woman's not even 40 yet, and she's unapologetically made a fool of everyone -- including herself -- and collected a hefty fortune in the meantime. This weekend was weird. I kept myself busy on Saturday thinking about stuff I had to do. I was so busy thinking, in fact, that I didn't do a thing. Nothing except writing "Is the phrase expectorant cough-suppresant an oxymoron?" in my notepad -- and I don't know what brought that on. That night I stayed up way past my bedtime to make a fool of myself online (though I loved every minute of it), got maybe four hours of sleep, then on Sunday attended a 40 year anniversary party for someone I'd never met except on an old BBS -- and that was maybe four years ago. Unable to find anything in ruby that I could afford, I settled on bringing a bottle of red wine that didn't get opened. The whole party was a total blur. I spent most of it nodding vigorously while following the friend I went with as she orbited through energetic conversations with every single stranger there. I immediately thought, "Oh my god, I've completely lost any ability to be social." The thought was then confirmed several times throughout the night, as everyone seemed to take turns apologizing to me for not including me in their chats. I ate way too many chips, overdosed on Safeway cola, hid for a while out on the balcony and eventually made my friend leave early with me. Although I don't think I'll ever be invited to hang out with that crowd again, at least we escaped before the impending karaoke fest (I bolted for the door when I spotted the setup). Still... forty years. Kind of gives you a little hope. Why the government doesn't let a couple as clearly loving as those two get married remains a mystery to me. Here's the bird's-eye skinny at the grind -- or whatever I meant to say. They're saying they might have to cut positions for assistants like me by half. And while higher-ups seem quick to pat our heads and say, "Now now, things are rough everywhere," I've heard they're meanwhile promising the nurse's union that they're going to increase R.N. hires by 30 percent. With them still calling in so few PAs despite a high census these last few days, I'm still thinking maybe I should quietly get out now before I lose a limb or start catching cups of coffee with my face like Tim did last week... I got an 86 on my Hawaiian midterm. That's a lot worse than I thought I did (I distinctly remember marching out proud as punch last week), and pretty mediocre compared to the rest of the class. It's ironic, since I was just thinking about how great it was that I really got into this class. Especially considering that maybe three years ago I was probably the most culturally insensitive cynic on Earth when it came to the language, let alone the culture or the simmering sovereignty movement. The fact that I actually suck, I guess, means it's payback time. I know, I know... I'm not much fun when I'm in a rotten mood.