The following is an actual question given on a University of
Toronto chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so
"profound" that the
professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which
is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using
Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is
changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into
Hell and the rate at
which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume
that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are
leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the
different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions
state that
if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to
Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not
belong to more
than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in
Hell to
increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell
because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in
Hell to stay
the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately
as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:
a) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at
which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all
Hell breaks loose.
b) If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase
of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes
over...So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my
Freshman year that, "...it will be a cold day in Hell before I date
you," and take into
account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having an affair with her, then #2 above cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze over."
NOTE : THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."