Blackout
New York City has no power And the milk is getting sour But to me that is not
scary cause i stay away from dairy, La-la-la-la-la-la-la...
Snowman
I made a man with eyes of coal
And a smile so bewitchin' How was I supposed to know
That my mom was
dead in the kitchen La-la-la-la-la-la-la...
Cremated mother
And my mother's ashes Even her eyelashes Are resting in a little yellow jaaaar...
My Coma Guy
You don't have to be awake to be my man As long as you have brain waves I'll be there to hold your hand
Though we just met the other day There's something I have got to say..
Babies
They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch Soon they'll grow up and resent you so much
Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why
And you cry and you cry and you cry And you cry and you cry and you cry
Farmyard Animals
Oh the cow in the meadow goes moo, Oh the cow in the meadow goes moo
Then the farmer hits him on the head with a hammer
And grinds him up And that's how we get hamburgers
Nowwwww chicken!
In the Shower
I'm in the shower and I'm writing a song Stop me if you've heard it My skin is soapy and my hair is wet And
tegrin spelled backward is nirget
Lather, rinse, repeat Lather, rinse, repeat Lather, rinse, repeat ( pause ) As needed
Terry
Terry's a jerk! And he won't let me work!
And I hate Central Perk! ( time passes by ) And you're all invited to bite me!
Smelly Cat
(Chorus) Smelly cat, smelly cat What are they feeding you? Smelly cat, smelly cat it's not your fault
They won't take you the vet You're obviously not their favourite pet
You may not be a bed of roses And you're no friend to those with noses
(Repeat Chorus)
Grandma
Now, grandma's a person who everyone likes She brought you a train and a bright shiny bike
But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner
Now your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru But the truth is she died and someday you will too
La-la-la-la-la-la...
Don't
There'll be times when you get older And you'll want to sleep with people
Just to make them like you
But Don't
Cause that's another thing that you don't wanna do
That's another thing that you don't wanna do
Bi-sexuals
Sometimes men love women And sometimes men love men
Then there are the bi-sexuals Though some just say they're kidding themselves
La-la-la-la-la...
Don't
They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch
Soon they'll grow up to resent you so much
Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why
You cry and you cry and you cry
Two of Them Kissed ( Last Night )
There was a girl. We'll call her Betty,br>
And a guy. Let's call him Neil
Now, I can't stress this point too strongly
This story isn't real
Now our Neil must decide
Who will be the girl that he casts aside
Will Betty be the one who he loves truly
Or will it be the one who we'll call... Lulie
He MUST decide, he MUST decide
Even though I made him up, he MUST decide...
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