A trucker's last letter

Steamboat Mountain is a man-killer, and truckers who haul the Alaska
Highway treat it with respect, particularly in the winter. The road
curves and twists over the mountain and sheer cliffs drop away sharply from
the icy road. Countless trucks and truckers have been lost there and many
more will follow their last tracks.

On one trip up the highway, I came upon the Royal Canadian Mounted
Police and several wreckers winching the remains of a semi up the steep
cliff. I parked my rig and went over to the quiet group of truckers who were
watching the wreckage slowly come into sight.

One of the Mounties walked over to us and spoke quietly.
"I'm sorry," he said, " the driver was dead when we found him. he
must have gone over the side 2 days ago when we had a bad snow storm. there
weren't many tarcks. It was just a fluke that we noticed the sun shining off
some chrome."

He shook his head slowly and reached into his paka pocket.
"Here, maybe you guys should rtead this. I guess he lived for a
couple of hours until the cold got to him."

I'd never seen tears in a cop's eyes before - I always figured
they'd seen so much death and despair they were immune to it, but he wiped tears
away as he handed me the letters. As I read it, I began to weep. Each
driver silently read the words, then quietly walked back to his rig. the
words were burned into my memory and now, years later that letter is still as
vivid as if I were holding it before me I want to share that letter with you
and your families.

Dec 1974

My Darling wife,

This is a letter that no man ever wants to write , but I'm lucky
enough to have some time to say what I've forgotten to say so many times. I
love you, sweetheart.

You used to kid me that I loved the truck more than you because I
spent more time with her. I do love this piece of iron - she's been good
to me. She's seen me through tough times and tough places. I could always
count on her in along haul and she was speedy in the stretches. She never
let me down.

But you want to know something? I love you for the same reasons.
you've seen me through the tough times and places, too.

Remember the first truck? That run down 'ol' cornbinder' that kept
us broke all the time but always made just enough money to keep us eating?
You went out and got a job so that we could pay the rent and bills. Every
cent I made went into truck while your money kept us in food with a roof over
our heads.

I remember that I complained about the truck, but I don't remember
you ever complaining when you came home tired from work and I asked you for
money to go on the road again. if you did complain, i guess I didn't hear
you. I was too wrapped up with my problems to think of yours.

I think now of all the things you gave up for me. The clothes, the
holidays, the parties, the friends. you never complained and
somehow I never remembered to thank you for being you.

When I sat having coffee with the boys, I always talked about my
truck, my rig, my payments. i guess I forgot you were partner even if you
weren't in the cab with me. It was your sacifices and determination as much as
mine that finally got the new truck.

I was so proud of that truck I was bursting. I was proud of you
too, but I never told you that, I took it for granted you knew, but if I had
spent as much time talking with you as I did polishing chrome, perhaps I
would have.

In all the years I've pounded the pavement, i always knew your
prayers rode with me. But this time they weren't enough.

I'm hurt and it's bad.I've made my last mile and I want to say the
things that should have been said so many times before. The things that
were forgotten because I was too concerned about the truck and the job.

I'm thinking about the lonely rights you spent alone, wondering
where I was and how things were going. I'm thinking of all the times I
thought of calling you just to say hello and somehow didn't get around to.
i'm thinking of the peace of mind i had knowing that you were at home
with the kids, waiting forme.

The family dinners where you spent all your time telling your
folks why i couldn't make it. I was busy changing oil; I was busy looking for
parts; I was sleepling because I was leaving early next morning. There was
always a reason, but somehow they don't seem very important to me right now.

When we were married, you didn't know how to change a light bulb.
Within a couple of years, you were fixing the furnance during a blizzard
while i was waiting for a load in Florida. you became a pretty good mechanic,
helping me with repairs, and I was mighty proud of you when you jumped into
the cab and backed up over the rose bushes.

I was proud of you when I pulled into the yard and saw you
sleeping in the car waiting for me. Whether it was two in the morning or two in the
afternoon you always looked like amovie star tome. You're
beautiful, you know. I guess I haven't told you that lately, but you are.

I made a lots of mistakes in my life, but if I only ever made one
good decisionm, it was when I asked you to marry me. You never could
understand what it was that kept me trucking. i couldn't either, but it was my
way of life and you struck with me. Good times, bad times, you were always
there. I love you, sweetheart and I love the kids.

My body hurts but my heart hurts even more. U won't be there when I
end this trip. For the first time since we 've been togather, I'm
really alone and it scares me. I need you so badly and I know it's too late.

It's funny I guess, but what I have now is the truck. This damned
truck that ruled our lives so long. This twisted hunk of steel that
Ilived in and with for so many years. But it cannot return my love. Only you can
do that. You are a thousand miles away butI feel you here with me. I can see
your face and feel your love and I'm scared to make the final run alone.

Tell the kids that I love them very much and don't let the boys
drive any truck for a living.

I guess that's about it, honey. My God, but I love you very much.
Take care of yourselves and always remember that I loved you more than
anything in life. I just forgot to tell you.

_______________________________________________________
Sometimes we really wait and forgot to tell our loved ones that we
love them and appreciate them. We ofen forgot to thank them for always
being there, forgot to praise them for what they did well. We seem to take
things for granted. Start making time to tell them we love them.

Especially for the guys out there, it may not be your style to tell
your partners U loved them and appreciate them but frankly that's what I
guess we women would like. We don't need flowers, expensive gifts, but a
sincere praise, a nice warm hug will be enough. Sometimes you are not
insensitive but just don't know how to put in words, try try real hard, you know
you don't have to be at the death bed to tell her You loved her and she
is beautiful. Make time to remember to tell her that she wouldn't know
if she is not told, you know!