I Am A Stranger

In silence here I sit
waiting for a single chance,
to break this shell
have fun, be merry
yet here I am in a trance.

Do they really know me
or do they simply speak,
words meant to quiet
and patronize me
like I am some kind of freak.

Do I really know them
do I really care?
I try so hard to love,
to speak
but burdens do I bear.

For here I wear a mask
of whom I do not know,
a mask I can't be rid of,
from my past,
but will it always be so.

I want so much to be open
to grow close to these ones,
who I hold so dear to me
whom I love
but do I speak in tongues?

They simply do not understand
they try, I know they do,
but do they try in vain
beyond their reach,
am I a problem past its due?

No matter, still I try
striving with help from above,
for without Him all is vain,
all is hopeless,
for, simply put, He is love.