The first rule of all counselling should be that the counsellor has unconditional positive regard for the person being counselled. This means that the counsellor should be non-judgemental. It amazes me that some counsellors cannot resist the temptation to be judgemental. Have they learned nothing from having studied the subject? It takes a very special person to be a counsellor, and so many people are just not up to it. Some people are just not temperamentally suited to be counsellors; these people should be identified and not allowed to do it. I know that there is some level of monitoring for counsellors, but it doesn't seem to be working.

Over the years I have heard many things about peoples' experience of counselling. Like the woman who was depressed because a loved pet had died and was told by her counsellor to cheer up, because it is just an animal. Or the boy who had been abused who was told by his counsellor that he would become an abuser himself.

I have not heard of outrageous cases of abuse with counselling as I have with psychotherapy, but harm can be very subtle. Counsellors have power without responsibility. In the privacy of the counselling situation, judgemental and aggressive attitudes that are common in society can emerge. And of course the client is often blamed for any problems that might arise.

What sickens me is that the people who need help most of all seem to be the ones who are harmed by counselling. The ones who don't stand up for themselves, and are unable to articulate goals, are the ones who seem to be suffering most. Counsellors do prefer some clients to others.

There should be a website where people can report their experiences of counselling, and bad counsellors should be banned. Unfortunately, there are some people who are unwilling to believe that there is a problem. There are people involved in counselling who want to believe that counsellors and counselling are wonderful things and that if there is a problem then it must be with the individual being counselled.

You may say that clients are asked to comment on the quality of their counselling when it has been completed. But clients are not asked direct questions about any problems they might have had. Neither are they invited to record anything that they disliked about their experience of counselling. I have looked at websites to do with counselling, but there seems to be no indication that there is a problem.

I am not saying that people should not undergo counselling. What I am saying is that people should be careful. If something about a counsellor seems wrong, do not think that they must know what they are doing, that they are professional people who have been selected, trained and monitored to do a good job. If you are suspicious, if they seem a bit judgemental or easily offended, then trust your instinct. You can always find another counsellor.