Anger1

Curbing Anger ( DOSA )

Contents : 1. Faces of Anger 2. The Risen Fire 3. The Making of Anger 4. The Manner of Overcoming Anger 5. The Written Anger

How does anger arise ? What prompt it ? " Just like the art of warfare, one must know thy enemy."

Faces of Anger "Anger is a state of Mind." YOU can name it .....

Hatred , aversion , dislike , enmity

irritation, envy, malice , grudge , resentment , distaste

ill-will, upset over uncertainty in life , hostility

do not know what to do, frustration, ignorance

In a Subtle form, it is :

A retaliation as a result of ...... ( gross type )

In disguise, it is called :

boredom, indecisive, helpless, .......

It harbored easily in the heart e.g. by words, sights, smell, thought, ....... Most important, it is prompted by a CAUSE ! e.g. mosquito's bite e.g. rumors or newspaper report, ....... " when a small fire is allowed to rise, it will be a danger once it is out of control."

The Risen Fire Lets' look at how the fire arises : Expectation not achieve , Does not leave up to your expectation, Waiting for others ( punctuality ) Situation in life ( health, wealth ) Injustice, inequality, cruelty, non freedom, Different in values, Inconsiderate Having and not having The fat wants to be thin ( vice versa ), The black wants to be white Cannot endure ( being embarrassed, treated with harsh words or harm ) Refusal to accept the facts of life ( impatient, felt rejected, confrontation ), .......... ..... .. "Why no one tell me, Smoking bring me here." - an illustration found on a tomb stone.

An Example of Anger A man who passed away met the guard in his next birth. The guard asked him what does he like most? And he answered immediately, "Ice Cream, of course!"

The guard then told him he could select any of the 3 of rooms available as his new home. The first was a room full of Vanilla ice cream. He passed! The next was full with strawberry ice cream. He passed again. The third one was fill up with chocolate ice cream. Yes! That's his favorite.    Now, day and night he will eat the chocolate ice cream as his breakfast, his lunch, his teatime, his dinner and his supper thinking that he is in Heaven. After the third day, he begins to feel bored and "yack".

So he called upon the guard and complained, "This is Hell !"
The guard then answered, " where do you think you are? "

The Making of Anger ? Let's look at how one creates one's anger. A closer analysis suggested that when one is not able to identify the true law of things or also one application of attitude, the anger slowly build up. 1. Repulsive / Negative Nature of the object Since the darkness of the night is part of life, so are changes, weakness, ..... We should not view the negative nature of an object with a repulsive attitude. Illustration : A lady who save some money to buy the cloth that she saw a week earlier, found out that it is no longer available, a close replacement was suggested but the color is different. And she got so upset about not able to have it. The Lesson : If one is foolish ( unwise ), one will view it with anger ( not having what one desire ) "Happiness is greater than sorrow ; sorrow is greater than happiness ; NO, both are equally great, because when one appear more significant, the other is asleep" A foolish view the bright side with greedy, the dark side with anger. A wise man views the bright with loving-kindness and the dark with detachment. 2. Unsystematic Attention towards the repulsive nature The power over it?? Life is changing all the time, the question is " would you get angry?" The answer is " may be, if ..., perhaps, depend ...., " But if I rephrased my question : " Do you have to be angry ?" The Answer will be .......( different ) Take a look at the mirror -- look at your unhappy face -- it looks like an erupted volcano. Be Proactive : stop for awhile and ponder ! Look at it positively -- the nature of things. Proper attitude and perception can change the way we see things relate to real life examples. Let's see how you are going to handle this common scene. Waiting for someone who didn't turn up!? Maybe the truth is they forget to inform you about the postponement, ..

The Manner of Overcoming Anger Ang. Nik. book of the 5 Systematic attention base upon .. 1. Loving-kindness ( in the heart ) e.g.. the baby that answers to the call of nature, who do not know there is a place call toilet. And she pees on your evening dress. So ...... We are not perfect, we are all weak and incapability in our own way. So, radiate your love of understanding and compassion to all of them ... forgive them .... All of us are also caught by the NOT knowing in life ( greed, hatred & delusion ) "If all of us can see and witness the secret suffering of our enemy, then it will be enough to disarm all our hospitality" All of us are actually the victim of situation. 2. Compassion that every beings suffer e.g.. when someone get angry, we must have the compassion for the fire that is burning in him. So, battle not with anger but with truth. The vissudha magga states : "Who is more foolish ? He who is angry or he who react to the anger ?" Illustration : A man throws some cow dung on you and missed, and would you pick-up that it cow dung from the ground and throw it back to him? Dhammapada verse 5 : hatred is not cease by hatred but by love. 3. A sense of Equanimity ( unmoved / unperturbed feeling ) -- accompanied by understanding e.g. the grandfather clock that continue to tit-and-tok, even though there are thunder and lightning out side the house. Just like the lotus, not stain by the mud of the pond ( uncontaminated ), rose gracefully, ever clean and beautiful. "Among those who hate, live without hate ; among those who are greedy, live without greed ; among those who are ignorance, be wise ; among those who are foolish, be without fool." If a man's mind is untrained / untamed, it will make harm to himself and the people around him, much more than an enemy can do unto him. Illustration : There was this drawing of a man surfing on the wave. On the caption it was written, "Life is like a sea, there will always be wave. The only thing we need to know is to learn how to surf on the wave" [ to overcome / transcend it ] From parable of the saw in Majjhima Nikaya, In this world there will be people who talk to you in 5 ways :-
sometime they will speak to you .... a. truth / untruth
b. beneficial / not beneficial
c. timely / untimely
d. harshly / politely
e. friendly / unfriendly -- knowing this nature of truth ( the negative nature of life )one should not get angry when someone get angry on you. As true as the sun that rises, the grass that grow, the wind that blow..... 4. Understanding ( of the law of Kamma ) We are the owners of our own deeds. We reap what we sow. We deserve what we deserved. We don't get angry for other who are rich or beauty or .... You have a choice. What you enjoy now is from your past, what you do now will reap in the future. You think wrongly, you will be sad ; you eat more, you will be fat. e.g.. if someone were to stab you now, and you are dying. You don't have the choice to live but .. you have the choice to i. curse him or
ii. wish him "may you be well and happy" Meaning : you do not need to be responsible for what he does. Because what he does is his and what you do is yours. Therefore I choose not to, and I hope you choose the same. Illustration : If you think, WORK is an enemy, then you will fight with it and you get tired at the end of the day. If you treat WORK as a friend, you will welcome it and greet it and you will go home whistling. 5. To avoid the situation e.g.. in the situation where you have no choice, it is so compelling, so overpowering that the sight and the name can irritate you, one applies this last choice.

Method : ignore at time , forget it, and think about other things
that are good and wholesome.

Problem : it is not so easy to sink it down, the more you think about it
the angrier one become.

Aware : when one gets angry, others can feel the radiation of it,
and they normally shy away from you

Conclusion : it is hard and difficult to overcome anger but by giving a little bit of EFFORT and DETERMINATION one will be able to suppress it. In the vitakha-santhana sutta : means to overcome distract thought a. to reflect and investigate the cause of the object you're angry on
b. to reflect something good / wholesome deeds Other methods * Counting Breath
** Motivation / Determination a. Reflection on the negative consequences of anger
b. Reflection on the positive impact of no anger story : Atissa and the angry cook
Once there was this guru, Atissa by the name, who answer the complaint of his followers about the cook who get angry so easily," I do not hire him as my cook alone but also as my teacher of patience" *** Identify what anger is a. anger is attitude that generate violence and agitation to harm others
b. anger is also lack of patience accompanied with intention to harm beings or objects
c. anger is like a person who hit us with the stick, where we can't get angry at the stick, but the person who manipulate the action of hitting, and again the person who hit us, is also being manipulated by another cause, that will finally come back to us, who is the original manipulator of the whole cause of action. d. anger cause situation that i. if can change, then change it e.g.. miss a bus, take the next
ii. if it can't be change, why get angry, it can't be help e.g.. jammed in the traffic ( further more it won't last long = impermanence )

The Written Anger Anger written on ..... 1. Rock
2. Sand
3. Water -- Reflection on the beach In the Road to Heaven,
one of the 7 qualities to be reborn as the King Sakka is not to give way to anger. ( Note : the Buddha has been King Sakka for 36x while Ven Ananda 17x )

In the Dhammapada's Tickets to Heaven,
1. to give even it is a little
2. to always tell / utter the truth
3. not to give in to anger
Question : Is it OK to get angry to teach other a lesson ?
Answer 1: to raise one's voice is not necessary getting angry.
Sometime we have to be seen ( fear, harsh ) in order to shows the truth. illustration : We must be as soft as the weed, and be as hard as the cedar wood( as principle as possible )
Story :
There was once this snake who will bite and kill the passer-by. One day a wise man passed through the jungle where the snake dwelled. He managed to convince the snake that he does not need to bite those innocent passer-by because they won't harm him and it is bad to kill.

The snake followed his advice and the villagers knowing that the snake no longer bite, began to bit him to near death. Later, when the wise-man return from his journey, the snake came to him," Look at me. All this because I followed your advice."

The wise-man reply," I asked your not to bite, but I didn't say you cannot Hiss."

Answer 2 : Not proper, one might solve 1 but further create 2. It would be wiser if one could be more patient and reflect the nature of the negative quality. M. Gandhi : " if the world live by the principle of an eye for an eye, then the world will soon be die." The Water Simile He who plunges once and drowns
He who come up and plunges again
He who come up and stay
He who come up and looks & sees
He who come up and crosses
He who come up and won to firm ground
He who come up and crossed over, gone to the beyond
He who come up and stands on high ground