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Behavior Management: Contracts

A Positive Approach to Changing Behavior

1. Choose one specific behavior to be changed. Make sure it isn't too broad. "Acting hyper at the dinner table" is too broad. "Getting out of his seat during dinner" is more specific.

2. Observe your child for 2 or 3 days to see how often the behavior occurs. Write this down.

3. Make a list of things that motivate your child. (See Consequences.) The list may include:

   • Special treats (small toy, soda, ice cream, new outfit, etc.)
   • Privileges (TV, computer, Nintendo, having a friend sleep over, going swimming, going to a movie)
   • Special attention from a parent
   • Money

   The list may also include things that are unique to your child. You know your child best. One of my sons, at age eight, was motivated to complete schoolwork on time in order to earn the privilege of taking apart old, broken electrical appliances, clocks, and radios collected from friends and acquaintances.

4. After you have identified something motivating, set up a contract with your child. State what the child must do, and what the payoff will be. Write this down and post it in her room or in a central location where she will see it often.

   If possible, the contract terms should be stated positively (ie; tell what the child should do, not what he should not do.) Be sure that both you and your child are clear on exactly what is required. Sometimes you have to use negatives in order to clarify.

   Choose something that you think your child will be capable of. It should be a challenge, but it should not be impossible. If it is something that you think will be very difficult, consider giving tokens for smaller increments to encourage him to persevere.

   Examples:

   (For hitting) When you keep your hands to yourself all day, then you may play with Play-Doh before bed.

   (For crying about homework) When you do your homework nicely, without crying, for 5 days, then you can invite your friend to sleep over.

   (For behaving disruptively in restaurants) If you use your good restaurant manners with only three reminders, then we will rent the Rugrats movie on the way home. * Be sure to define exactly what is meant by "good restaurant manners." In my family, this means: "Sit in your chair, talk in a voice low enough that only the people at your table can hear you, keep hands to self, and don't go under the table."

   (For poor punctuality in an adolescent) When you can be ready in time to ride the school bus for ten days, then you can get the new computer game/clothes/shoes/etc.

   (For frequent namecalling, using tokens) Each time you can use only nice words for one hour, then I will put a penny in this jar. If you have 5 pennies at bedtime, then you can have an ice cream bar.

5. Make a chart to keep track of results. This can be as simple as a piece of paper with squares drawn on it. The child gets to put a happy face, checkmark, or sticker in a square each time he fulfills the contract terms for a given time period.

6. Be prepared for the child NOT to earn the reward on the first few tries, and to be very upset. When she calms down, encourage her to try again.

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© 1999, Ruth Donnelly, unless otherwise noted.