Singing Lemon News!

This page is updated continuously as news items about singing lemons filter in from news agencies around the world.

Cabbage marries Lemon shock! A cabbage named Dwayne married a singing lemon yesterday watched by an audience of vegetables. The ceremony which took place in a phone box in central Addis Adaba was conducted by a small tube of toothpaste. Ethiopian Telecom confirmed last night that this was the first wedding between a cabbage and a singing lemon to be conducted in one of their phone boxes. The honeymoon location is unknown, but is believed to be somewhere in a paper bag.	Ethiopia yesterday
Singing Lemon Eats Cow There was shock reaction from Guatemala last night following the shock revelation that a singing lemon had been seen biting a cow's leg in Istanbul. An inside source on a Turkish newspaper confirmed that an eyewitness had seen the incident but thought that the singing lemon was probably kissing the leg in question. When asked for his reaction, the mayor of Guatemala City replied "What are you talking about?". The cow was unavailable for comment last night.	A cow yesterday
World celebrates Singing Lemon Day Amid scenes of riotous jubilation, the UN announced the start of the 137th annual Singing Lemon Day this morning. Secretary General Kofi Lemon initiated preceedings by burping for a bit. Traffic ground to a halt in all the major cities of the world as people spontaneously leapt from their cars and embraced each other on this joyous occasion. Throughout the day there are plans for carnivals and processions with lots of lemon music. One passer-by said this morning, "Where can I change my underpants?"	A car this morning
President resigns after Singing Lemon Sock scandal The president of Burkina Faso was unavailable for comment last night after resigning due to a scandal involving socks. Rumours had circulated throughout the day that he had been involved in a major sock scandal. These sock rumours were confirmed when he resigned mumbling something about socks. The people of Burkina Faso expressed shocked disbelief last night about this whole sock thing.	Burkina Faso yesterday
Loch Ness Monster is a Lemon says Archbishop Mad archbishop of Kuala Lumpur, Gob Farb Farb, announced this morning that the Loch Ness Monster was really an aquatic form of singing lemon. In a press conference to announce these new findings, he is reported to have told the audience that the lemon in question regularly came around to his house and sang to his furniture. When asked whether he was lying he confirmed that he was.	The Loch Ness Monster this morning
Lemons flee Icelandic Serial Killer Singing lemons in Reykjavik were fleeing for their lives last night as a mad lemon murderer was on the loose. Icelandic police confirmed that they were hunting a demented lemon killer known only by the initials EJM. In the past week five singing lemon corpses have been discovered stuffed into the drains of Reykjavik by this sick, twisted individual. All of the lemons had died a terrifying death involving the use of an illegal lemon squeezer. The government of Iceland announced last night a huge reward of twenty sheep for any information leading to the capture of this vicious monster.	Reykjavik last night
Lemon Invents Intergalactic Spaceship There were a celebrations yesterday when a singing lemon from Togo announced that it had designed and built an intergalactic spaceship. The spaceship which has been built from chocolate bar wrappers is powered by a revolutionary mass injection engine fueled by hugging it. The lemon was quoted as singing "I am very happy. This is a new dawn for all lemon-kind."	A spaceship yesterday
Lemon Invents New Type of Biscuit There were a celebrations yesterday when a singing lemon from Ghana announced that it had invented a new type of biscuit. The biscuit is seven thousand kilometres in diameter, and is filled with beef flavoured jam. The president of Ghana confirmed this morning that she had tasted the buiscuit and that it made her vomit. The lemon was quoted as singing "I am very happy. This is a new dawn for all lemon-kind."	Ghana yesterday
Singing Lemon rides Moose up Mountain Contratulations filtered in from world leaders last night as a singing lemon became the first lemon to climb Mount Pimple. The international Mount Pimple expedition reached the summit by sneezing their way up the mountain. The team led by a lemon called Slightly Green were accompanied by a moose. Speaking from the summit by satellite phone, the moose expressed its pleasure at the lemon's achievement by swaying from side to side for a bit. A lamppost was asked for its opinion but it chose not to reply.	A moose last night
Singing Lemon monument unveiled A new thousand metre high statue commemorating every singing lemon that has ever lived was unveiled in Sweden last night. Millions of people flocked to Sweden's capital - Oslo - to see this historic occasion. The statue was the result of months of work with milk bottle tops and resembled a parrot. Upon seeing the statue, the mayor of Oslo dropped his trousers.	A parrot last night