In Memory of

Alice Grantham Wayne

My Mother

Alice Grantham Wayne was born in a small town in eastern NC in 1919. Her father was an alcoholic and her mother died of diphtheria when she was nine. For five years, until her father remarried, she acted as the head of her family, since she was the eldest of four.

She married my father, a career Marine, before WWII broke out. At that time, the Marine Corps would transfer any Marine who married before he had reached the rank of sergeant to China so that he would not have children, so she kept her marriage secret for six months.  Then she followed my father to Washington (Marine Barracks), California, Chicago, Camp Lejeune (at that time a construction site), Edenton, Quantico, and many other places. 

She lost one child and raised three others. She followed my father everywhere. In the 24 years he was in the USMC, she moved 27 times, seeking always to be with him or as near to him as she could get. She never complained about this, assuming that it was natural that a husband and wife should be together.

She was an amazingly intelligent woman. She worked for one bank for 22 years. When she retired, it took three people to replace her. She later worked for two other banks, always to praise from her managers and co-workers.  She managed her own affairs until her health forced her to stop. She helped to found, and served for years as the treasurer of, a local nonprofit health clinic that still serves the poor people of that area.

She became a North Carolina Master Craftsman, learning, (in her 60s) to make baskets from the pine needles, thereby helping to preserve a vanishing craft. She exhibited her skills in schools and craft shows across the state. she also painted, carved wood, and made quilts for all her grandchildren.

She was courageous. When my father was sent to Japan and was unable to take her with him, she learned to drive a car, then took herself and her three small children across the country and to Japan on her own. She never assumed that there was a job she could not do, from killing poisonous snakes, to facing down generals, to negotiating with the Federal Reserve Board, to standing up to the school board.

She raised three children and saw them all through college. She welcomed black people as equals into her home in the early 50s despite the history of segregation and racial discrimination she grew up in. I heard her once reprove a Marine colonel (my father was a warrant officer) for referring to the Japanese people as Japs in her presence. She lost friends in the 90s when she and my father went out and got several women who worked as daily maids social security numbers, so they would have a minimal pension when they grew to old to work.

I thought she was beautiful, but I am a prejudiced witness. When she took her glasses off, I believed that she looked exactly like the woman on the Sun-Maid raisin box. As a schoolboy, I carried a torn-off box cover for years as a picture of her.
 

An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her.
...
She extends her hand to the poor;
And she streches out her hands to the needy.
...
Her husband is known in the gates
When he sits among the elders of the land.
...
Strength and dignity ae her clothing
And she smiles at the future.
She opens her mouth in wisdom,
And the teaching of kindess is on her tongue.
...
Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
"Many daughters have done nobly,
But you exceed them all."
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

Exerpted from Proverbs, Chapter 31