Re-member each day is an opportunity to pay attention to our circumstances to contact what is given. By simply paying attention we can solve our problems, answer our questions, and meet the need. Keeping record of what we have contacted is essential. For clarity write down questions, answers, observations, and what you’ve learned. Reviewing your records can help you put into use that which you’ve learned and may also be of aid to someone going through the same lesson.

As we contact and respond to the contact it becomes apparent that things don’t happen by accident. When we enter each day with love, harmlessness, oneness, pure motive and gratitude we can see the amazing things in our lives. When we find ourselves getting impatient remember people are not their behavior. We don’t have to agree with the behavior. Love the soul and forgive, then explain why the behavior is not acceptable, and let them know how it makes you feel. Appreciate people and show them how much you love them each and every day.

What is the purpose of questioning? Questions are essential to our growth. If we want to know anything at all we must first ask a question. Often we are unaware that we have asked a question because we don’t formulate it in spoken words or on paper. To be conscious of the questions we are asking gives us the opportunity to ascertain the purpose of asking them. What we decide to give consideration to and ask questions about can have a deep impact on our lives and the lives whom we are in contact with. Know there is an answer to each question. Pay attention and listen to receive the answer. It may come from within, from a friend, family member, co-worker, passer-by, the environment, a circumstance, media (book, article, newspaper, radio, tv, internet, etc.). Sometimes the answer may be within the question itself. Writing down the question makes it easier to examine and determine when you have received the answer.

How to Ask a Question:

-Ask from Oneness
This indicates that you want the answer for all and not just for yourself.
Example: How can I learn from this experience?
Re-word: What can be learned from this experience?

-Be specific.
Example: What can be learned from (fill in the blank with the actual experience)?

-Ask simple questions, instead of complex questions which are usually asking more than one question.
Example: What can be learned from this (experience) that would resolve it?
Re-phrase into two questions:
What can be learned from this (experience)?
What would resolve this (experience)?

What questions should I ask?

What do you want to know? Start there! What has been on your mind lately? If you’re thinking about it or concerned about it there’s a question there. Ask the question. Do you have the answer? Deal with facts, not interpretation. Here’s some suggestions:

What question if asked here will bring:
clarity?
increased awareness?
expansion?
understanding?
about desired results?

What thoughts am I giving consideration to? And why?
Where are these thoughts coming from?
(ex. some experience I had, some thing I fear/worry about, etc.)
What prompts (brought about) this thought?
How did this come into my consciousness/awareness/experience?
Where did I learn this?
When did I begin to think/feel, etc this?
What am I basing this...on?

Do I agree with this thought?
What am I choosing with this? (Be conscious of what you are choosing)

Is giving consideration to this thought-
helpful?
useful?
productive? etc.

What thoughts keep coming up in my mind? Why? Do I accept them?
Will what I am considering benefit only me?
Will what I am considering help me to be of service in some way?

What am I engaging in here?
What is the purpose of this? (thought, emotion, experience, etc.)
What is my intention (behind this...)?
Is this Harmless?
Am I making this decision based on pure motive?
Am I making this decision based on personality preferences?

What is the inner meaning of this?
What's the underlying issue here?
What does this mean to me? (Ex. In terms of my life, people I’m close to, etc.)

What is the cause behind this behavior (effect)?
What can release/free me from this (thought,
emotion/feeling, sensation, experience, reaction)?
Is this a habitual response? If so, what can I do to change it?
What thoughts/idea would be productive (help out in this matter/situation)?
Why do I choose to (think, feel, or believe) this?

Where do I react habitually?
With whom do I react habitually?
How am I participating (ex. what behavior am I displaying?)
Am I reacting? If so, why?

How am I contributing to this situation?
How can I contribute to this situation?
What do I want in my life? Why?
What am I repeating (in my life) Why?
What needs to be done/changed to stop this from occurring again?

Do I choose to treat certain people differently? If so, why?
Do I make allowances for those close to me that I wouldn't for people I've just met? (making exceptions to what you accept in terms of behavior)
Am I always true to myself wherever I am? (ex. at home, at work, out for enjoyment, etc.) If not, why?

Am I choosing to expand or limit (with this)?

Is my motive pure? To check motive ask yourself-
Am I doing 'such and such'
for a pure reason?
is it selfish?
is it selfless?

Am I dealing with the facts?
(or am I worrying by interpreting the facts according to my fears or mood)

Write down the facts.
Ex. say you have a conversation with someone. Write Down what was actually said. Those are the facts. You could spend your whole life trying to interpret what was meant by each statement--if there's a question about anything that was said then in the next conversation bring up your questions.

To make sure you are directing energy rightly ask these three questions:
Am I coming from oneness?
pure motive?
harmlessness?

Before saying or doing anything ask this:
Is this contradictory to what I think, believe, value, understand, etc?
-Am I saying yes to (agreeing with verbally or non-verbally) behavior I find unacceptable?
-Am I basing this (ex. thought) on an emotional reaction (from myself or from another person)?

First be the observer
so as not to get involved (identify)
with the emotions or reactions
occurring in your present circumstance.
Ex. if someone is yelling at you,
if you react and just yell back
it can keep going and going
but if you just take a step back from the situation
while in it
you can see solutions.

Being an observer you can take in what's going on
without taking it personally
and thus really look at what is being said or done
with greater clarity
and then you are more able to respond
to the real issue(s) at hand.

To recognize that one can communicate/convey what is bothering him/her using words instead of behavior is a BIG step. It causes a person to live, share and express him/herself more honestly. It means he/she is choosing to be conscious of what the real issue is. Using words to explain what is going on in your mind, feelings and/or physical body helps those you are communicating with understand where you are coming from.

Note also that you are responsible for YOUR actions and words. Do what you know to do in each and every moment-trust your intuition-you really know what is right.

Communicate your feelings, thoughts, and needs using "I."
such as: "I want..." "I need..." "I feel...." "I think..."
AVOID: "You make me feel...." or starting any sentence with "YOU" which puts the other person on the defensive–making them think they have to defend their actions, words, etc.

Remember to ask to be treated the way you wish to be treated.

Behavior according to Webster's:
The way an organism acts especially in response to a stimulus.

Behavior is an indirect way to get what we want and need.

Behavior can be unlearned.

What is the purpose of this behavior? Why am I doing it? What do I want to get? How can I get this without using this behavior? What are possible ways I can communicate what I need and want?

What is causing me to behave this way? What thoughts did I have which led me to acting out this behavior? Why did I think that this behavior would get me what I want/need?

What is stimulating me to act?

Example Stimulus:
Sister poking you
Behavior:
Poke her back

Webster's:
Stimulus-something that rouses the mind or spirits, or incites to activity, an incentive.
Arouse--to excite to action from a state of rest

This definition of arouse made me stop and think. If I'm at a state of rest (ex. am peaceful) and then a stimulus (ex. a person in my environment) says or does something which could cause me to "re-act" then it is all up to me whether or not I re-act. I can choose not to re-act to the stimulus and thus maintain my state of rest (peace) and not be disturbed--or I can re-act and "blame" the person for exciting me to action. I choose to take responsibility for my actions and my re-actions. Be conscious of what you choose. Each time a stimulus appears--view it as a test. I will not re-act. I've found that this actually works! Let me know what you think-email me at carolinerocks@yahoo.com