Jokes on Computer


        "MODEMS"
Why is modem better than a woman?
Modem doesn't complain if you sit and play at the computer all night long.
Modem doesn't mind if you talk to other modem.
Modem will sit patiently and wait by the phone.
Modem comes with an instruction manual.


"DEFINITIONS"
OBSOLETE - Any computer you own.
MICROSECOND - The time it takes for your top-of-the-line computer to become obsolete.
SYNTAX ERROR - "Hello, I want to buy a computer and money is no object.
GUI (pronounce as "gooey") - What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it.
COMPUTER CHIP - Any starchy food stuff consumed in mass quantities while programming.
KEYBOARD - The standard way to generate computer errors.
MOUSE - An advance input device to make computer errors easier to generate.
FLOPPY - The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.
HARD DRIVE - The sales technique employed by most computer salesman.
PORTABLE COMPUTER - A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation and on business trip.
DISK CRASH - A typical computer response to any critical deadline.
POWER USER - Anyone who can format a disk from DOS.
SYSTEM UPDATE - A quick method of trashing all of your current software.



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