May 24, 2004 - Returning from canoe camping this Victoria Day weekend, I traded one annoyance for another. Election signs dotted the highway and each one was like a mosquito bite on my face: itchy and ugly. I don't ask for mosquitoes or politicians to get in my face, but the bloodsuckers do anyway.

No one knows how many candidates will be buzzing in voters' ears over the next month. Elections Canada will reveal the extent of the swarm on June 7 when fertilization (nominations) close in Canada's 308 ridings. But with four major parties running candidates, that will be well over 1100 vote-hungry politicians spending tax dollars to market themselves. Ouch.

So far in this campaign, Prime Minister Paul Martin and Conservative Party leader Stephen Harper have embarrassed themselves by trying to define the Canadian identity. This debate is idiotic. Canadian citizens are Canadian. Read the Constitution, boys.

Besides, elections are not about "Canadians" or citizens. Elections are about voters. Politicians use children, young people, immigrants and people who are not on the voting lists such as the homeless or unemployed as photo opportunities and then ignore their needs. In the 2000 election, 7.6 million Canadians did not matter to politicians because they could not vote. Of the people who did vote, 139,412 spoiled their ballots, choosing no candidates. Quebec voters led this charge to elect nobody.

Then there are the so-called issues. Harper's promotion of tax cuts as "Canadian" shows him to be the conservative ideologue he is. Too bad he is out-of-touch with current events. Talking tax cuts today is like talking about the dinosaurs. Our neighbour is choking on an annual $400 billion deficit, half of which the US Congress' own financial office attributes to President Bush's tax cuts. Sure, blame the economy or the war or both, but neither of these is costing the US government more than its own tax cuts. No one needs to be an economist or a policy wonk to see the logic: no taxes equal no services. Your pitch ain't going to work north of the border, Mr. Harper. Canadians are too smart.

Fortunately, Canadian intelligence applies for Martin, too. For anyone who lived through the Nineties, especially those of us who were trying to start or switch careers, we can't forget or forgive Martin's record as Finance Minister. He cut healthcare, raised tuition and privatized student loans, slashed Unemployment Insurance and took away the advantages that helped Canadians through the previous three decades. He reached his balanced budget goal and then held back the surpluses.

Honestly, the Liberals should adopt a new slogan: 'Sacrifice now, suffer now and later, and above all, vote Liberal, you fools.'

Democracy in Canada has become a betting game with only one question: should voters play? The problem for politicians is that voters know the House always win. Despite the media's insistence that this election could mean "change" for Canada, I doubt voters will play the slots.