11/27/00

		"all too obvious"

far and wide i've searched for him
through layers of time
and dimensions of maturity
finally, found

and in this short time
i have learned so much
about myself, and others
obvious

but the thing that amazes me most
is how much i missed all these years
despite the doubt and the battles
i fought against them
it never occurred to me
that i might be hiding all along

and now, it seems ...simple
so straightforward and direct
how my options seemed numbered
how my doubts seemed limitless
that i always ran
further away from myself

and i learn...and change
lessons of the past melting away
into illusions and transforming into reality
a peace i could not find before
and perhaps...had not looked for
finally, i have found it all

not what i expected
far better, far worse, more painful, infinitely more joyful
than my past
and what i had believed to be my future
all this and more
together

and even in my ramblings
it seems i follow the same path
irregular and odd, winding and searching
but always leading to the same place
the realization of self
and the ability to truly love

				© Andrea K