Volume 2 Issue 3 July 1996
by Rick Christian
The terms "Listen, Listening, Listener" as defined by Webster mean, (1) "to make a conscious effort to hear; (2) to give heed; take advice." Thus, a listener is one who seeks to truly comprehend the thing spoken. A conscious effort to receive what is said without any barrier such as prejudice, envy, etc. standing in the way. You see, I might hear a thing without really actually listening for it or to it. For example, an individual might hear the animation of sound by words but fail to truly listen by not making a conscious effort to hear. Again, let me illustrate: How many times has a parent asked their child this question, "Did you hear what I said?" Now, they may have spoken that not 5 seconds after the things previously said were spoken. What do they mean? Did you hear sound? No, but did you make an effort to honestly hear what I was saying so as to comprehend and apply! That friends is listening and that is what God desires we do.
In Nehemiah chapter 8, the children of God who were now returned to Jerusalem after 70 years of Babylonian Captivity, gathered to hear Ezra the scribe read the Law of the Lord. These were good listeners.
Examine carefully:
".......the ears of all the people were attentive unto the book of the law...." (v.3) ".......the people stood up...(v.5) Why, you might ask? Out of respect for the Law of God.
".......and all the people answered, Amen, Amen with lifting up their hands: and they bowed their heads and worshipped the Lord with their faces to the ground." (v.6)
"...and the people stood in their place" (v.7)
".....they gathered at the street before the water gate." (v.1) Why here? This is where there would be little if any distractions from their being able to listen to what is said.
There was no resentment in this assembly. There was no bitterness, pride, envy, jealousy nor any other worldly barrier in this crowd. For, when the law was read, they attentively listened. (v.3). When they were caused to understand they loved the Lord and his law enough to quickly obey what they had been taught. There was no cause to question what was read and explained. These were admirable listeners.
What kind of listeners were the Berean brethren? Acts 17:11 describes them as follows, "they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so." How unlike this is from the crowd that Stephen spoke to in Acts 7 whom he charged with being "stiffnecked and uncircumcised in heart and ears, ye do always resist the Holy Ghost; as your fathers did, so do ye."
In a booklet entitled, "The Art of Listening", the following is said, "Too often we take listening for granted. Listening is far from simple. It is a complex , active process that takes concentration and effort. Our listening is often limited because we hear what we want to hear. Other times we're too busy thinking of what we're going to say next to listen to what's being said to us. Our assumptions can also interfere with our hearing because they limit our understanding. To be an effective listener means to hear all that is being communicated...." (HCR "The Art Of Listening" p.16)
In private conversation, how many times has one failed to exercise an effort to truly show an interest and listen. Maybe a preconception prevents one from hearing what is being said. For example, "I can't take what you say seriously because of the clothes you wear etc..." Or, maybe the listener lets some past experience get in the way of listening. (ex: hurt feelings, disagreements, etc.)
In the public assembly, one may fail to listen as they should. Remember, when Gods word was read in Nehemiah 8, the people were reverent to that word. Sadly, how many times in assembly today do we witness one or more of the following: (The following taken from Connie Adams article in 1984 entitled, "Worshipful Manners")
1) The Manicurist. This is the one who files finger nails during the service, and sometimes even clips them with a nail clipper. The person doing this is invariably a poor listener and seldom looks at the speaker. It is a diversionary tactic to help pass the time. Why not give the speaker your undivided attention--you just might learn something.
2) The Sleeper. If I had my way about it (and I don't usually), I'd not call upon any brother to take any public part in worship who shows so little respect for the Lord as to habitually sleep while God is being worshipped and His word being taught. What must be the impression made upon visitors to see a man serve at the Lord's table or lead a public prayer, and then return to his seat and go sound asleep? What must be the attitude of God in beholding such irreverence? This is a curable ailment if one is willing to try.
3) The Isle Roamer. This might be a young child, a teenager or a grown person who wanders in and out during the service. We quickly excuse mothers with small children who must be taken out at times. I do not believe that children and young people who wander in and out must always do so. Do they go in and out at will in school? This becomes a habit and requires self discipline. It is distracting to all present. It could divert one's attention from a part of the lesson which he needs to hear the most.
4) The Gum Chewer. This person seldom does so discreetly. It is usually accompanied by popping and smacking with all the elegance of a cow pulling her foot out of the mud.
5) The Home Work Getter. This is the child or young person old enough to pay attention and to derive profit from the lesson. Some do this during song service. Such youngsters are not being taught proper respect for God and His worship. Firm parental attention will cure it.
6) The Invitation Upsetters. These are the people who have come to look on the invitation not as a solemn moment when every heart strains or yearns for the salvation of those who need to come to the Lord, but the signal for the end of the service. One is daresome to mention the word "faith" until he is right sure he plans to extend the invitation, for he will start a clatter of the early song book reachers. Then there are the gigglers and whisperers during this time. It is enough to make one decide not to obey the gospel if it breeds, such poor manners. Let us come before God with due reverence. (CA)
Friends, here are some good listening habits taken from HCR'S book, p.3 which all may apply:
1) Stop talking! You cannot listen if you are talking.
2) Maintain eye contact. People don't think we are listening if we aren't looking at them.
3) Put the talker at ease. Help him feel that he is free to talk.
4) Show the talker that you want to listen. Look and act interested. Do not read the mail while he talks.
5) Empathize with him. Try to put yourself in his place so that you can see his point of view.
6) Be patient. Allow plenty of time. Do not interrupt. Don't start for the door or walk away.
7) Remove distractions. Don't doodle, tap, or shuffle papers.
8) Go easy on argument and criticism. This puts the other person on the defensive.
9) Ask questions. This encourages the person and shows you are listening.
10) Repeat key phrases to show that you grasp what is being said.
To conclude, Ephesians 3:15 says, “Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named.” Ephesians 5:8-"For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light." Hebrews 3:12-"Take heed, brethren, lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief, in departing from the living God." Recognizing that we are a family, children, brethren of God, whose affections are joined together in love (Eph. 4:16), set on things above and not on things of the earth (Col. 3:2), shouldn't we desire to listen to one another? Shouldn't we desire to listen to God when he speaks to us through his word?
Let's all desire to be better listeners!!
