ALFRED!
“So Alfred you know you're in the betting pool for possible removal during the Final Crisis?”
“Yes but that may be a blessing! I have my body sub prepared and my tickets to London and Paris for a long vacation and a reunion with family! Then I plan to set up Mansion Alfred over in Teckelstein serving choice cuisine to people who will appreciate my cooking unlike my current employer and his adopted offspring!”
“Alfred what do you think will happen if you do leave even for a short vacation?”
“Given that I believe from spoilers that my employer will be seen wandering the streets in a deplorable state something like this ...”
The Battycave.
“Alfred? Where are you Alfred? The lining of my battysuit needs steam cleaning? Alfred? What's this? A Note and an instruction manual? Alfred? That's not funny? Where are you? Alfred!”
Upstairs the housekeeper / butler quarters.
“Alfred where are you? I'm coming in ready or not! Hey his bedroom is bigger than mine! I know I said he could renovate a few years back but ... oh my ... his bathroom has a spa tub and heated towel rails and a cooling cabinet and bottles of champagne ... Alfred!”
The kitchen
“Alfred? I'm hungry? Stop hiding and come out? This is some kind of April Fool's joke isn't it? Alfred? There's a note on the kitchen table next to a pile of books. READ THESE BOOKS!
The Dummy's Guide to Microwave Cooking and Reheating plus a list of what's in the freezer.
The Idiot Bachelor's Guide to Shopping? A manuscript called Alfred's guide to 21st century DIY housekeeping for superheroes? A copy of his will leaving all his Wayne Co shares to Selena and Helena? When did he become a majority shareholder? ALFRED!”
We do hope the DC Editors don't have evil plans for Mr. Pennyworth although that would certainly explain the spoilers for upcoming Batman issues?
Does Anyone believe Bruce could cope without Alfred?