MARCH MADNESS


It's been awhile since our first 2008 report.


Big events have been happening! (which is while this wasn't finished to the end of March!)


Liberty Meadows is holding ... er has held its first Wiener race and Young Oscar reached the finalist group. We had planned a full report on this with celebrity interviews but the notes got lost when the results were announced and there was a general riot as many of the canid celebrity guests starting chasing this chimpanzee with a pen stuck behind its ear across the meadows.


Teckelstein has a new member on its therapy team. Some bald guy who we'll refer to as “Charlie X”. One of the many excuse the girls had for NOT finishing their reports was this one:


Notes on a therapy session. Copied from a badly damaged tape.


“Nurse who are the next patients?”

“A family intervention for the Solos and Skywalkers, and sir, yes, the insurance for damages is up to date and I booked a repair team for tomorrow!”

Gap in tape filled with Static noises. Sound of something like a laser firing? Gap in tape.

“Han! Jacen! NO hands around throats! No telekinesis during sessions!”

“MY NAME IS DARTH CAEDUS!” Sound of someone muttering “Daft Cad?”

“Now when did you first come to feel that you needed to save the Galaxy?”

Several vocies crying out, “It's a family tradition! Blame them!” Sound of furniture crashing.

Voice of a young girl crying, “Daddy!”

“NO Darling Daddy's not bad! Daddy's a politician!”

“Grandma was a pollie titian? She's not wearing that silly black helmet and cape!”

Sound of someone snickering in background.“AND you've never worn black Uncle Luke?”


I think my readers can guess how that therapy session ended?


Darkly Adamic's mini-series is over so he's returned to Teckelstein and is now working as a bouncer at the Happy Dragonoid Hostelry while waiting for news about his wife.


Xander Luthier had to go back into therapy after having another nervous breakdown after discovered he REALLY had been used like a glove puppet by a certain smug megalomanaic cosmic being and finding out his girlfriend might be leaving him to return to Earth 2B.


Now for the most important announcement of all!


We have a new CAST Member. A big drum roll for


ROBERTA FAST TRACK RATESS


Yes as its the year of the Rat 2008 we now have a new Teckelsteiner. Young Roberta could you join us onscreen?


“I cant! I'm still doing my fur!”

“What are you doing to your fur this time? You're not bleaching it again are you?”

“No there's chocolate icing all over it cos ...”

“Did you have ANOTHER FOOD FIGHT with Sassy and Goldie?”

“They had this bottle of chocolate sauce and they wouldn't share with me and ...”

“NOT AGAIN !”

I'm afraid gentle readers the girls are having a bit of trouble adjusting to our new cast member!


Obligatory flashback!


“What is it!” “Aaaargh it's a rodent! Kill it!”

“Girls please it's the Year of the Rat! This is our new cast member Robbie!”

Sounds of gnashing fangs and flapping flukes.

“She bite me!” “You snapped at me!” “She slapped me with her tail flukes!”


Groan gentle reader are you beginning to see why this report is late!


Okay everybody smile. Big Drum Roll. Every one say hello to ROBERTA FAST TRACK!


“Where are Sassy and Goldie?”


“Please miss they said they had to go and interview MR. Pennyworth about those rumors about some one doing killed off over in the DCverse. I hope it's not Mr. Pennyworth! He helped make my dress!”

“ Yes Roberta that is a lovely dress and the black goth look goes with your multiple ear piercings and silver jewelllery but where are your FAST TRACK running shoes and leather jacket ?”


Roberta who after all is only a couple of month sold bursts into tears!


“Sassy chewed them and spat them out!”


Oh dear mean while over in the Battycave the girls are visiting Alfred


Epilogue


“Now Girls let's all smile for the camera when I say SUSHI!”


A couple of minutes later while using the playback on the digital camera.


“Oooh! Not again!” All that can be seen of Roberta is a pair of feet as Sassy and Goldie lunged forward at the last minute and blocked the view of her while smirking at the camera!


Beginning to see why these “reports” are not “illustrated”?


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