SG Spinoffs - a Spoiler parody

S G - Sam and Jack - the Sitcom !!!

Yes sir folks its that wacky onelinin' newly promoted General and his Gal Pal the wise witty and wonderful Sam in their very own Sitcom!

Newly promoted Brigadier General O'Neill celebrates by going fishing with his buddy Thor - unfortunately they choose Lake Placid - anyone got Giant Gator bait? No Problemo Our Big Buddy Tealc comes to the rescue by getting the gators er Indopacific Crocidilians drunk on Jack's beer and then ... meanwhile lovely Sam now a Colonel is running the base and has to deal with a new sergeant called BILKO - see our THREE Tech Sarges fight for supremacy and and total control of the Level 23 black market (trading with the Tok'ra and Jaffa and various Gouald and certain "intelligence" agencies for photos of Sam in an undressed condition)

Next week Sam has to explain about that fish tank full of larvae - oh those ... they're rare south american piranha eels! and deal with Jack Junior when O'Neill's clone takes some of the larvae to his high school biology class!

Daniel Jackson - Gate Raider - watch Daniel confront and survive various perils and whumpings - watch his shirt get lovelily ripped off by naughty Gouald Ladies - watch him endure a day of paperwork and office reviews with guest star Jonas Quinn but worse of all he accidentally wanders into a Convention Meet and Greet VIP party and has to dodge the ... oh yes and next week Daniel takes over the base and gives everyone compulsory Ancient Nostratic lessons ... be with us and learn how to say I need a new love interest in a dozen obscure dialects !!!

SG - 24 Hours - the Reality Show - a live Webcam continuous broadcast to the Net and Cable of everything that goes on at the studio - yes Everyone and Everything - watch Writers flirt in the accounting department - see Crew yawning - watch Actors whinge about scripts - watch Producers watch the web for feedback on their performance - watch the Teamsters stealing donuts - see actors in competitive parenting sessions getting repetitive strain syndrome downloading pict files of their LA based offspring ... you're still here? okay watch the empty carpark under the light of the full moon ... yawn ... hang on what's that wolf doing coming out of one of the actors' trailers and there are stunt dudes chasing him with a net screaming - catch him we need him for an early morning shoot !

So who's the werewolf in the cast ... Stay tuned if you can stay Awake for SG - 24 Hours !!! Tomorrow we watch various writers producers and actors dial doggydaycare and listen to them talk to their puppies ...

Soon to come on PBS - Jonas Quinn presents a mini series on Kewllonian culture - learn what all that smiling and eating and eating and smiling and smiling and eating really means!!! Subtext explained along with the EEK Factor !

A PBS Special on Jaffa Folk Music - Find out about the Shaft Weapon Song ... "Oh a Jaffa has Two Shaft Weapons and one is VERY Long and the other is short but strong ...and sits below his kilt ready to rise to.. " Perhaps for adults only ?