The T’nkle Memos
(Editorial Note: This transcription features references to the Cthulhu Mythos and other works by Lovecraft and appearances by weird trans-dimensional canids who are not dachshunds but possibly far more annoying. It would be about three A4 pages long if printed out. The usual culprits delivered these memos to me.
More Editorial comment …
Quiet lately isn’t it – very little heard from the PTB’s?
One wonders why?
Could it been that they’ve been discovered or rather been discovered by strange trans-dimensional life forms that are even more annoying than an sentient dachshund and a l’il Goullawk Queen?
Apparently Goldie and Sassy were so offended by people NOT wanting to play with them that they gave the co-ordinates of Pontifical Studios to some playmates of theirs – the Hounds of T’nkle. Gentle readers have you ever encountered the works of Love craft and the Cthulhu Mythos? Remember the Hounds of Tindalos? (actually Frank Belknap Long created them but other writers have used them in Cthulhu Mythos stories since) Well think of a kinder gentler sweeter sillier new-ageish crystalline version! And be afraid! BE very very afraid … at least of the possibility you might laugh or smile?
There are creatures and creations far more annoying than sentient dachshunds and Goullawk Queens
Let the Memos begin!
RC to BW
What’s wrong with the air conditioning? I keep hearing these chiming and tinkling noises in the ceiling?
BW to RC
We have bigger problems! Seen the Season 8 pitches? Some fool gave the Juniors Farscape DVDs for Christmas! I’m currently reading notes for a plot line in which Jack receives a neural clone of Apophis and suddenly develops extreme dress sense and takes to wearing silk kilts.
RC to BW
That would be good actually since the fans have been complaining they’re not seeing enough of him. Could we get him to go topless as well? And get the Young Prince and the Big Guy into kilts as well?
By the way I just looked out the window and AT’s chasing the Junior Pros around the car park AGAIN and she’s wearing – I think it’s an Artemis the Amazon outfit?
RC to BW
The exercise will be good for them. Who owns the large dogs she has chasing them?
By the way those noises are getting louder and a strange message appeared on my desk.
BW to RC.
My desk too. Was your message an announcement that the Hounds of T’nkle are coming to be your new unofficial playmates and mascots and pets? And signed in purple ink “The Hounds of T’nkle INC. Like the Hounds of Tindalos but kinder gentler sweeter!!!”
RC to BW
That word Tindalos ran a bell. I did a web search. Someone’s doing Lovecraft puns. And did you know Miskatonic U now has an online e-store selling Stars of Mnar? Here are the URLS.
BW to RC
I checked the URLs and have ordered a carton of Stars of Mnar to be shipped ASAP along with their book, “Annoying trans-dimensional life forms and what to do about them”. It’s a multi-volume set also available on CD and DVD. Hopefully there’ll be something in it about dealing with sentient canids and dragonoids. The crew have been ordered to plaster all the room corners into curves but they can’t get here until Friday. They’re still building the sets for Potentially a Titanic our spin-off.
RC to BW
I think it may be too late. Something just fell through the ceiling and landed on my egg chiming. It looks like a crystalline egg.
BW to RC
Me too! And mine hatched and it looks like a little crystal statuette of a fluffy dog or puppy but it walks and makes chiming noises all the time as if it was yapping!
RC to BW
Mine just ate every sweet item in the room and is now alternating chiming noises with tinkling wind chime sounds. Unceasingly. Relentlessly. Endlessly.
BW to RC
I rung Miskatonic U’s emergency line. Don’t feed them any more sugar!
RC to BW
Too late! The craft table just contacted me asking what SFX lives on coffee crystals and donuts and does conga lines in the car park. Also they have now grown to the size and shape of Irish Wolfhounds and started singing! Continously. Ongoingly. Unendingly
“T’nkle t’nkle Ya! T’nkle t’nkle Ya!
We are cute we are silly we are nice!
T’nkle t’nkle Ya! T’nkle t’nkle ya!”
Editorial Comment – the rest of the even more inane and annoying lyrics have been deleted to spare your sanity and mine. Let’s just say I’ve been informed it went on for hours and hours and hours, long weary hours of singing semi-transparent crystalline aliens chiming and tinkling and their diamond sharp claws damaged the flooring and the office carpets too! Also the cleaners are very unhappy cos instead of hair they shed diamond sharp fibers and well what that did to the vacuums …
BW to RC
I just got a message from the terrible twosome offering to remove the T’nkle Hounds if the following services are performed.
(List of demands omitted but if any one really wants to know what was on it… ask me!
RC to BW
No absolutely not! No way! I’ld rather keep the T’nkle Hounds!
BW to RC
I have a headache. A very BAAAD headache. I thought listening to the yammering of Junior Pros was headache inducing but all that chiming and singing and tinkling is driving me crazy.
RC to BW
I baited a trail to the mail room with donuts and will seal it with Stars of Mnar!
BW to RC
With any luck the black hole in the mail room will suck them in!
RC to BW
Pugkept wandered into the mail room to see if his fans sent him any thing. He was heard screaming and hasn’t been seen to come out yet?
BW to RC
And this is a bad thing? I sent Po’ Boy and Daimonic in after him. While they’re in there we can finish off Season 8 and Titanic potential disaster scripts.
RC to BW
Can we lure some of the more annoying actors and fans in there too? The silence is wonderful.
BW to RC.
Tempting! Very tempting! But we need the actors! Let’s just focus on the writing!
Editor’s Note I have no idea where and when this occurred.
I understand the writers re-appeared after some considerable length of time and negotiations with certain individuals and are trying to pitch a story guest-starring a dragonoid and a talking dachshund called “Return to Wormhole X Studios!” in which our team has to help Marty deal with an alien infestation probably with T’nkle Hounds.
Back to Sassy Gate ?