Xander and Kayara's B I I I G Xmas Almost Lovecraftian Adventure Vacation!

Our scene: An remote unknown tropical island in the Pacific ... no not the one with the polar bears and mad scientists ... or the one with the dinosaurs and the giant ape or the another one with the mad scientists and the manic-depressive metallurgist ... just an sandy atoll high enough above the water to have fruit trees not just coconut trees and also room for two vacationers from the Demented Continuous temporally overstressedverse ... Young Xander Luthier and Kayara (a.k.a. Power Boobs) Cantium!

Unfortunately their “Chaperone” is with them. Yes Goldie joined them in vacation! ... and as a result ...

“Xander ... are you absolutely sure this is a nameless island?” asks Kayara while wearing a polka dot bikini. Not it's not tinsy winsy and red !

“Well I was until this giant monster appeared ... with the tentacles on its face and tried to swat Goldie with that sign.”

Cue to further down the beach where one of the Great Old Ones is screaming in a strange XenoPalaeoArchaic language while indignantly waving a sign inscribed ..”RYLEH! Private Property of the Great Old Ones Inc. Do NOT Disturb! “

For your benefit we will translate the screaming ...

“What's wrong with you! Cant you read? Okay so some of the signs fell down in the latest storm but what about all the other signs? ... and you ate the children of my favorite pet giant squid! As Calamari! No I don't care if you're a Queen in Exile! You have five minutes to leave my island and take your pet humans with you! B****y Goullawks!”

How did Xander and Kayara's Romantic getaway get spoiled ?

Flashback Time!

A Parlor in Schloss Teckelstein. Afternoon Tea is being spoiled by a Goullawk bursting into the room shrieking ... well squealing and screaming ...

“WAAAH! Morkee doesn't LUUUV me anymore!”

“Whatever makes you think that?” asks Young Xander, carefully rolling up his newspaper, the latest edition of the Teckelstein Times (All the News about Dachshunds, BY Dachels, For Teckels!) in case he needs to use it as a defensive weapon against a hysterical Goullawk whose eyes are currently whirling and glowing like a Pernese Fire lizard in breeding season!

“He said he wanted to date other dragonoids!” shrieked Goldie, flumping her tail up and down on the carpet so hard that a small dust cloud of shredded wool fiber begun to rise up.

“Exclusively or Inclusively?” asked Young Xander pushing the tea pot away form the edge of the shaking table.

“He said we'd always be friends but he had to date other dragonoids cos we were NOT genetically compatible and couldn't cross breed.”

Scribal Note – probably a good thing ... the last thing the fictionality “Morkee” comes from is an infestation of Goullawk hybrids ... after their recent problems with dragons and demons and a bespectacled warrior who's probably going to invent the steam engine any day now!

Xander trying to divert Goldie's attention before anything else gets damaged makes a strategic error.

“I'm one of your special friends! Hey what do you want for Xmas?”

“I...SOB Sob sob... need the company of ....sniffle ...some of my special friends ...pathetic whimper ... and ... say Xander did I hear you were going to a tropical island? Hey I could come too!”

Xander turns an interesting shade of pallor.

Back to the island!

Xander and Karyara are quietly packing up while being glared at by the thing who looks like he has an octopus stuck on his head. No he's NOT wearing a pirate costume! Except tentacles ... er somewhere below his waistline.

Kayara whispers to Xander!

“ ...we still have a few days of vacation time left. Where can we dump the Goullawk and be alone before the editors start doing terrible things to me again?”

Xander smiles.

“I have an idea. You know Goldie also has a crush on Migaloo the Albino Humpback?”

Some time later. Teckelstein's Spa. Xander and Kayara are sipping champagne while soaking in a spa and watching the snowflakes artistically whirl past the glass windows.

“Sooo just how did you persuade Goldie to go elsewhere?”

“I told her where Migaloo were hiding!”

And so we leave our happy couple partying until Kayara has to return to the pages of her comic and the editors find out that dead body was yet another of Luthier's clones and think of something worse to do with Young Xander Luthier!

Meanwhile somewhere deep under the oceans the doors of an Atlantean residential dome are being rocked by the moaning of a frantic humpback. One male occupant a stunning young mage with purple eyes is yelling!

“Yes I know I'm filling in for Aquaticman until the temporal reset inserts young Artie Junior! NO You cant come inside! Yes I understand you're being sexually harassed by a Lovesick Goullawk but you cant come in here! You cnat fit through the doors! AND I'm trying to have some quality time with my wife and kid while we wait to find out what horrible things the editors have planned for us! Dont cry Cerdie Daddy will make the noisy whale go away! Just clear off Migaloo! You too Goldie! I mean it!”

Okay now we know why we have not seen Tempestuous for a while! He's being pestered by Migaloo and Goldie!”

If you enjoyed this Xmas adventure please consider donating to Doctors without Borders, or an animal related charity or donating towards the maintenance of this site so the scribe can go pro and add more memory space! Thank YOU !