Yet another fine misadventure brought to you by Sassy and Goldie! Celebrating the 100th BoPping Event!
A Penthouse apartment in the crowded skies of Metropolis ... though the way a certain robot is hell bent to drawing attention to itself truly its a wonder there's any flying metas left to crowd the skies! ...And then there are the alien spacecraft and other activities! Dont you just feel so sorry for whoever does air traffic control in that city?
Inside that apartment someone called Baa ... is working through a pile of photos when a strange SFX noise is heard! She shudders as a portal opens for it can only be .. a dachshund wearing a bat cape and mask and a Goullawk wearing ... let's just say Goullawks really shouldnt try to wear human clothing. PersOnally i WondER how she keeps that costume so white GIRL is missing yet another outfit or will find it in her closet with the bottom cut off ... AGAIN... fortunately for certain Goullawks she thinks some perverted meta male's been stealing them. Oh is that why she's so cranky at Baa ..may be she thinks someone knows whose responsible and isnt telling?
"Hello It is I ! Batdach! and my partner Power Goullawk! and our new sidekick, young Mr. Luthier! (See previous S&G reports) "
"Sassy ! Goldie ! Should you be here? I heard the Sceptre is looking for you!"
"Nyah that was the old one! The new one still has hosting hangover! Wanna see photos! We have photos of us harassing the Sceptre cos he was hassling poor innocent magicians! See here's me biting his ankles and Goldie spraying him with purple stuff! We also have some photos of possible new people to go BoPping for you!
" I'm seeing a theme here girls. You and Goldie biting er fighting various villians alternating with shots of that bratty kid who broke into the apartment recently? DiscoDazzler Goullawk? in blue eye makeup and a sequinned vest?
"Oh that's cos of the pizza and chocolate Misfay bribed . .. ow Sassy dont nip me there! Anyway the sequinned vest was cut down from an old costume some one was going to sell on Ebay over in another fictionality ... the one having an UNCivil Dispute."
"... and here's PowerBoobs glaring at Goldie in her Power Goullawk costume ... the one with the inflatable ... shudder ... and here's one of PowerBoobs ... kissing your new side kick."
The side kick blushes and grabs the photo muttering something about that one not supposed to be in the pile.
"... and look photos of Tall Blonde and Tall Russian and more photos of them and photos of them wearing ... please tell me those are not dresses?" (See our Brattany report)
"Hallowe'en party costumes! They're Byzantine silk robes!" chirps Goldie.
"Can I have a copy of that one for Zindilla? By the way your friend reminds me of someone? That red hair ... "
"I'm reformed! I'm dead! Or my clone is! I'm not coming back! I'm in therapy! You dont know me!" shrieks Young Luthier!
"Actually he's oneof the many people taking turns wearing the Supernova costume until the editors reveal his identity!" remarks Sassy the most impudent of canid critics! "We have more photos!"
"Black Alass and you and Goldie ... making .... disrespectful gestures at the Sceptre!!! You two and Black ALass and two old women in strange ethnic costumes standing under a sign saying Welcome to the Witch Trials proudly supported by the Kingdom of Lanc ... but that's a fictional place!"
"Not for us! Wanna see the photo of us with Tiff and Perdie X? "
"Actually No."
"We have a really cute shot of us introducing Black ALass to Misfay!"
"This is a totally unsubtle hint isnt it?"
"They'll make great BoPpers! They like us and they gave us pizza and chocolate and sashimi!"
"Look girls I appreciate you want to help your friends but I'm looking for adults!"
"We're adults! I'm an adult dachshund and Goldie's been around for centuries! "
"Adult humans like these people!" replies Baa pointing at oneof her holographic monitors!
"THEM?!?"
"What about mascots!"
"Funny animal sidekicks are out of date! Have you two considered the Zoo Crew?"
"WHY?"
Just then a security alert goes off. Sassy and Goldie give each other knowing glances. The current side kick Young Alex smirks.
"Oh what a surprise the alarm went off ... gee maybe you should check in the conference room for contrived cough nudge wink intruders!" nonchalantly remarks Sassy blinking meaningfully and raising both eye spots.
"Zindilla where are you! "
"Hic giggle in the conference hic giggle room Boss!"
Baa ... grabs her nunchakus and wheels to the conference room.
"SURPRISE!!! It's your 100TH Anniversary Girls' Night IN!!! "
Baa is briefly speechless ... bereft of even a laconic explanatory monolouge! The conference room has been redecorated and there are tables with champagne in ice buckets, some of the bottles already opened, possibly by Zindilla, and pizza, and Italian takeout and a platform with a very really mega large cake and all our female regulars and semi regulars are there, Bleached Canary, HuntGRLess, Sinh, Zindilla, BlackALass, Misfay, and many more. There are also a few token males there in waiter outfits, young Agent Gosh, and Tall Russian, and we did mentioned that really big great whopping huge cake didnt we?
"I ... I ... I'm actually impressed ... Ladies thank you"
"There's one more surprise"
"Sparklers light up on the cake, it splits open to reveal a platform rising up from its midst and on it are nearly naked ... DANCING BOYS ..." Yes Ladies and gentlemen some of DCverses' World'sFinest are there for Baa ... delectation and yours. A certain Dick and Brian and others ALL wearing sequinned or metallic skintights shorts and shaking their booty!!!
Enjoy imagining the scene! Maybe if enough people ask we can persuade Nicola to draw it?
And so we leave you alone with an invitation to visit other parts of our site and enjoy more of our Sassy Gate "reports". If you found these at all amusing please consider making a donation to Red Cross or some other Diaster relief organisation? I suggest Medicine Without Frontiers? Thank You Neith lowly scribe on behalf of and for Sassy an impudent dachshund and Goldie an even stranger little creature.