it is times like these
when, barely breathing
and longing to hold myself
as you once held me
to fill myself
as you once filled me
i think
of us twisting
our limbs locked sliding sweaty
in the thrill of regret

of how nothing compelled me
propelled me
enthralled me
consumed the sweet secret depths
of my flesh
until you found me
and ground your way in

so how can i say goodbye?
with eyes, cheeks, tongue, lips
with breasts, thighs, arms, hands, hips
with the sweat on my brow
smearing into your neck
with that from which we made
our shared jagged breath

but not with words
words cannot touch the swelling pleasure
left behind us
cannot know the tight perfect fit
of you against my edges
cannot know the nights
i laid beneath you
screaming, feeling safety
as you moved me
and after, looking up to meet
your light
your light