Humorous Weird Quotes

These are some of my favorite quotes that I've found on the 'net. I'm bringing you the short version so you don't have to search for them yourself!

  1. Oregano is the spice of life. --Henry J. Tillman
  2. Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car. --Evan Davis
  3. "If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of 22, it would have changed the history of music... and of aviation. --Tom Stoppard
  4. I have discovered that all human evil comes from this, man's being unable to sit still in a room. --Blaise Pascal
  5. Stoop and you'll be stepped on; stand tall and you'll be shot at. --Carlos A. Urbizo
  6. A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat. --Katharine Whitehorn
  7. "Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum" (I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.) --Ambrose Bierce
  8. For every human problem, there is a neat, simple solution; and it is always wrong. --Mencken's Metalaw
  9. The time for action is past! Now is the time for senseless bickering! --Ashleigh Brilliant
  10. Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. --Truman Capote
  11. It was such a lovely day I thought it a pity to get up. --W. Somerset Maugham
  12. "Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege. --Anonymous
  13. "He's the kind of a guy who lights up a room just by flicking a switch. --Anonymous
  14. Reality is something you rise above. --Liza Minnelli
  15. A paranoid is someone who knows a little of what's going on. --William Burroughs
  16. It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do. --Jerome K. Jerome
  17. I agree with everything you say, but I would attack to the death your right to say it. --Tom Stoppard
  18. Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up. --James Magary
  19. Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered? --Woody Allen
  20. Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment. --Robert Benchley
  21. I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died. --Richard Diran
  22. Someone's boring me. I think it's me. --Dylan Thomas
  23. But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown. --Carl Sagan
  24. The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. --Doug Larson

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