January 6, 2002

Romans 8:12-17; Galatians 4:1-7

Our Relationship with God:

Building a Healthy Relationship with Our Eternal Dad

1. Introduction

1. Illustration – Dramatist Eugene O’Neill wrote, This is Daddy's bedtime secret for today: Man is born broken. He lives by mending. The grace of God is glue.
2. Context – Today we’re beginning a series of messages on relationships. January’s messages will deal with our relationship with God: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. In February, we’ll be talking about our relationships with each other. March will cover our relationships with our world. This morning we’ll be talking about our relationship with our heavenly Father.

1. Scripture Passage

1. Romans 8:12-17 from The Message – So don’t you see that we don’t owe this old do-it-yourself life one red cent. There’s nothing in it for us, nothing at all. The best thing to do is give it a decent burial and get on with your new life. God’s Spirit beckons. There are things to do and places to go! This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It’s adventurously expectant, greeting God with a child-like "What’s next, Papa?" God’s Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who He is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what’s coming to us – and unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we’re certainly going to go through the good times with him!
2. Galatians 4:1-7 from The Message – Let me show you the implications of this. As long as the heir is a minor, he has no advantage over the slave. Though legally he owns the entire inheritance, he is subject to tutors and administrators until whatever date the father has set for emancipation. That is the way it is with us: When we were minors, we were just like slaves ordered around by simple instructions (the tutors and administrators of this world), with no say in the conduct of our own lives. But when the time arrived that was set by God the Father, God sent his Son, born among us of a woman, born under the conditions of the law so that he might redeem those of us who have been kidnapped by the law. Thus we have been set free to experience our rightful heritage. You can tell for sure that you are now fully adopted as his own children because God sent the Spirit of his Son into our lives crying out, "Papa! Father!" Doesn’t that privilege of intimate conversation with God make it plain that you are not a slave, but a child? And if you are a child, you’re also an heir, with complete access to the inheritance.
3. It’s my hope and prayer that, by the time we’re through this morning, many of the misconceptions we have about who God is and our relationship with Him will be cleared up. Let’s start out by talking about some of those misconceptions.

1. Our Misconceptions

1. When we have misconceptions about the way things are or the way we’d like them to be, we often go to one extreme or another. This is true about our relationship with God the Father, especially if we’ve had problems relating to our earthly father. We tend to think of God the Father the same way we think of our earthly father. This is where the misconceptions begin.
2. Sometimes we tend to think of Him as a very severe, strict, judgmental father just waiting for us to mess up so He can punish us. We constantly live in a state of fear, because we know that sooner or later we’ll trip up and that’ll be the end. I struggled with that misconception for years, and I still find it creeping back into my heart and mind when I least expect it. Allowing this misconception to continue gives Satan a powerful foothold in our lives, because there is no way we’re going to get close to a father who’s waiting to crush us. But 1 John 4:16-18 says, God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us, so that we’re free of worry on Judgment Day – our standing in the world is identical with Christ’s. There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life – fear of death, fear of judgment – is one not yet fully formed in love. When we ask Jesus to forgive us for our sins and live in our hearts, we enter that life of love that John is writing about. The love aspect of God the Father keeps Him from punishing us for our sins when we walk in His love. That is a powerful truth! The only one who wants us to live in fear of punishment is Satan. The only way to stop that fear is to all the truth that God is love to take up residence in our hearts. When our heart is filled with God and His love, the misconception of a vindictive father goes bye-bye!
3. Just as we can take the notion of God as Judge too far, we can also take the concept of God’s love too far. We do that when we think of Him as a doting Father; just waiting to spoil us and give us everything we want and let us do whatever we want. Some of us had earthly fathers who indulged our every desire, and that can really allow the doting Father misconception to take root in our hearts. Yes, God is love. But God’s character is more than love; it’s holy love. He is not Someone who will allow us to live in sin unpunished when He sent His Son to die to save us from the power of sin in our lives. Romans 6:1-2 says, So what do we do? Keep on sinning so God can keep on forgiving? I should hope not! If we’ve left the country where sin is sovereign, how can we still live in our old house there? Or didn’t you realize we packed up and left there for good? Jumping to verse five, Could it be any clearer? Our old way of life was nailed to the Cross with Christ, a decisive end to that sin-miserable life – no longer at sin’s every beck and call! Any notion of God as a doting, ever-indulging Father simply doesn’t mesh with Scripture! God does punish sin – sin that we don’t change our thinking about and turn our backs on, and sin that we don’t ask His forgiveness for. God is neither a vindictive Father nor a doting Father. He’s Someone altogether different.
4. Illustration – From Homiletics Online: One day a certain father went to visit his son's preschool. It was a day when dads could come to visit. But when he got there, he was shocked to discover that only a handful of fathers had come to be with their children. Later on that morning, all the children were sitting on the floor in a circle. The teacher asked the children to tell the group something about their fathers, something that was special. One little boy said, "Well, my daddy is a lawyer. He makes a lot of money and we live in a big house." Another child said, "My father is very smart. He teaches at the college and a lot of important people know him." Finally it was time for this father's son to say something special about his dad. The little boy looked up at his father, then he looked around the circle of his friends, and then he just smiled and proudly said, "My dad ... my dad is here!" God is always present with us, and He’s neither vindictive nor doting. But we’ve got to go much farther if we’re going to understand who He is.

1. What Kind of Father is He?

1. So what kind of Father is He? How are we supposed to relate to Him? Our passage from Romans 8 tells us a little bit about what He’s like. He’s the giver of new life. His Spirit calls us to Him and to this new life. He is expectantly waiting for us to ask Him "What’s next, Papa?" He is our heavenly Daddy! He sends His Spirit to confirm that we are His kids, and that as His kids we get an inheritance. He allows His Son to lead us through all the good and bad times of life. In other words, He’s our loving Father who calls us to Himself, who uses reality to teach us but stays with us through the process, and who gives us an eternal inheritance! Sounds pretty cool to me! Now let’s take a look to see what the Galatians passage says to us about our heavenly Father.
2. According to Galatians 4, God is our redeeming Father. He set us free from our lives of sin. He moved us from being mere slaves to sin to being His fully adopted children. We can now "experience our rightful heritage." What is that heritage? The privilege of calling God our Daddy, the privilege of being able to experience constant intimate conversation with God. He enables us to have complete access to our inheritance – an abundant, new life and relationship with God our Father. In other words, Our heavenly Father redeems us from sin, adopts us as His legitimate children and His heirs, calls us to intimate conversation with Him, and gives us total access to Himself.
3. These descriptions of God not only are really cool, but they also give us pause to think about how we relate to Him as our Father, as opposed to how we could relate to Him as our Father. Does that make sense to you? Instead of thinking of our heavenly Father in extreme terms, as either vindictive or doting, or even leaning toward one of those extremes or the other, we can allow our thinking to be balanced about God as our Father. Yes, God punishes sin, but He also loves us enough to give us a way to be forgiven and to escape our sinful lifestyles. And yes, God loves us more than we’ll ever know, but He also holds us accountable for our sins.

1. Keys to Relating to God

1. So keeping all of these concepts of God in balance, how can we relate to our heavenly Father in a way that reflects who He really is? I believe that there are a couple of keys here we need to take a look at. First, our attitude in approaching God is the most critical thing. Philippians 2:5-8 says, Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn’t think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn’t claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death – and the worst kind of death at that: a crucifixion. We have no cause for pride or arrogance or a sense of entitlement when approaching God the Father for intimate conversation. Would most of us have the audacity to approach our earthly fathers in that way when we were growing up? No, because if our earthly father was strict, we know exactly what would have happened – severe punishment! God loves us dearly, but He’s still God and we have to copy Christ in this. We have to have a humble, respectful, obedient attitude when we take advantage of this intimate conversation God wants to have with us. A real key to relating to God in a way that benefits us and is pleasing to Him is to make sure our attitude is okay.
2. A second key is found in John 15:5-7 – I am the Vine, you are the branches. When you’re joined with me and I with you, the relation intimate and organic, the harvest is sure to be abundant. Separated, you can’t produce a thing. Anyone who separates from me is deadwood, gathered up and thrown on the bonfire. But if you make yourselves at home with me and my words are at home in you, you can be sure that whatever you ask will be listened to and acted upon. When we take the Father’s words to heart, obey them, and allow them to change our desires into God’s desires, then whatever we ask for will be in line with His will. The requests that are in line with God’s will are the ones He takes positive action on. We are dependent on God for everything we are and have. We can’t do anything positive spiritually apart from Him. So if we want to have a healthy relationship with our heavenly Father and to have intimate conversation with Him, we’ve got to allow God to change the desires of our hearts to reflect His desires. Then we’ll be sure to ask for what He wants to see happen when we talk to Him. Having the right attitude and asking for the right things are both keys to intimate conversation with God.
3. A third key is found in James 1:5-8 – If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You’ll get his help, and won’t be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who "worry their prayers" are like wind-whipped waves. Don’t think you’re going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open. Faith is a critical key to our relationship with God the Father. Faith is necessary if we’re going to be conversing intimately with Daddy. We have to believe, not only that He exists, but that He wants to hear from us and speak to us. He will listen to us and speak to us if we have faith to believe that He will, if our attitude is right, if we desire His will to be done. We can’t both say we have faith and expect to solve the problem ourselves. We have to believe that He will answer, and wait for His answer before we do anything else. Faith is a critical key in our relationship with Father, just as having the right attitude and seeking God’s will are critical keys to that relationship.
4. Illustration - David J. Wolpe, in Teaching Your Children About God, wrote, A boy and his father were walking along a road when they came across a large stone. The boy said to his father, "Do you think if I use all my strength, I can move this rock?" His father answered, "If you use all your strength, I am sure you can do it." The boy began to push the rock. Exerting himself as much as he could, he pushed and pushed. The rock did not move. Discouraged, he said to his father, "You were wrong, I can't do it." The father placed his arm around the boy's shoulder and said, "No, son, you didn't use all your strength — you didn't ask me to help." It’s only when we figure out that God the Father is our only strength and hope that we realize that we need humility, a longing for God’s will to be done, and faith if we’re going to allow Him to be our strength and hope.

1. Conclusion

1. We’ve seen that God is our loving Father who calls us to Himself, who uses reality to teach us but stays with us through the process, and who gives us an eternal inheritance. We’ve seen that God is Our heavenly Father who redeems us from sin, adopts us as His legitimate children and His heirs, calls us to intimate conversation with Him, and gives us total access to Himself. We’ve seen that three keys to experiencing a healthy relationship with God the Father are having a humble, respectful, obedient attitude; asking for what He wants to see happen when we talk to Him; and having faith that He will listen to us and speak to us when we seek that intimate conversation with Him. So now the question remains – does our understanding of who God the Father is and how He wants to relate to us match up with the reality of Scripture?
2. If you’ve been deceived by misconceptions either about who God is as our Father or about how we can relate with Him, and you want to change your thinking and relating in those two areas, now’s your chance to do something about it. I’m going to give you a few moments to talk to your Daddy in heaven, repenting of your wrong thinking and actions in these areas, giving Him permission to change your thinking and relating, and then just intimately conversing with Him. Then we’ll all pray together. But go ahead and begin talking with your Father God right now if you haven’t already.
3. Let’s pray.