I. Introduction

A. Illustration – In The Imitation of Christ, Thomas a Kempis wrote, Look, it all consists in the cross, and it all lies in dying; and there is no other way to life and true peace within (as cited on PreachingToday.com). Everything, including our capacity to love one another, is found in the cross. That’s what Jesus is talking about in John 13:31-35, so let’s read it together, and I’m reading from the NIV.

B. John 13:31-35 from the NIV - When he was gone, Jesus said, “Now is the Son of Man glorified and God is glorified in him. 32 If God is glorified in him, God will glorify the Son in himself, and will glorify him at once. 33 “My children, I will be with you only a little longer. You will look for me, and just as I told the Jews, so I tell you now: Where I am going, you cannot come. 34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

C. In this passage Jesus is directly tying together His death, resurrection, and ascension with His disciples’ love for one another. That must mean that love is something more than a feeling.

II. More Than a Feeling

A. If the love Jesus is talking about is more than a feeling, what exactly is it? I resisted the temptation to look it up in my dictionary, because I have a pretty good idea of what the world’s idea of love is. So I want to read 1 Corinthians 13 from The Message translation. If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing. If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love. Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head, doesn’t force itself on others, isn’t always “me first,” doesn’t fly off the handle, doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, doesn’t revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end. Love never dies. Inspired speech with be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled. When I was an infant at my mother’s breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good. We don’t see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us! But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.

B. All of us struggle with some of these. Probably the one I struggle with the most is “doesn’t keep score of the sins of others.” I was thinking about why I struggle with this so much, and I think it’s because throughout my life, those who’ve supposed to be the ones to protect me didn’t do it, instead choosing to hurt me. Basically almost all of those in authority over me who were supposed to use that authority not only to direct me but to protect me haven’t done it. And I know I’m not the only one here who’s experienced this same painful reality. I was watching one of those medical shows the other day, and a woman was brought into the trauma unit who had been brutally tortured by her ex-boyfriend. She had a restraining order against him, and had warned the police that he would hurt her, but they said that unless he had committed specific acts or made specific threats there was nothing they could do. And because of the legal liberalism in our country, I’m sure the police department’s hands were tied, but they still were the ones who were supposed to protect this woman. I don’t know if anyone here today has been physically abused like that, but I know folks who’ve been molested, who’ve been emotionally abused, mentally abused, socially abused, even spiritually abused. And I know many of you have stories that you haven’t shared with anyone. Stories of abuse, severe criticism, molestation, and all kinds of pain inflicted by the hands or mouths of others. When we’ve been hurt like that, we find it very difficult to love. When we’ve been hurt like that, we find it very difficult to trust anyone, much less those in any kind of authority over us.

C. All of this, combined with our culture’s worldview of self above all others, makes it seem impossible for us to love anyone as God loves us. But that’s what Jesus said - “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” How do we love one another as Jesus loves us with all this baggage from our pasts? How do we get past the tears and the pain to fully experience God’s love and to love others with His love? I want to share something that I haven’t shared with anyone yet that happened while we were on vacation, taking David on college tours. We were touring the campus of George Fox, where both Kim and I went to college, and seeing some of my old stomping grounds started bringing back to the front of my mind some of the things I had done in while there, and some of the things that were done to me. I was starting to cry inside (I didn’t want David or our tour guide to see what was going on), and I felt the voice of God speak to my heart. He said something like, “Brian, it doesn’t have to be like that. You don’t have to live in the past. With my help you can leave this past behind, because I have already redeemed it.” I’ve been thinking about that ever since. Jesus bled and died on the cross to redeem those years. Jesus bled and died on the cross to redeem all of those tears and pain. Jesus bled and died on the cross to show me how to love as He loves. Jesus bled and died on the cross to heal those holes in my soul.

D. That’s what He’s saying to all of us today. He bled and died on the cross to redeem all your years and tears and pain. He bled and died on the cross to show you how to love as He loves. He bled and died on the cross to heal those holes in your soul. It brings glory and pleasure to God for Jesus to redeem and to heal and to love. That’s why it’s so important that we love one another as Jesus loves us. We don’t have to sit back in defensive mode by our cannons waiting for someone else to twitch so we can hurt them before they hurt us. I know that sounds kind of extreme, but that’s what we do. We hurt so badly that we’ll do anything to stop anybody else from hurting us. So we dig in, wrap our shells around us, and fire away. We don’t have to do that anymore. We don’t have to close ourselves up to anyone around us so we won’t get hurt. I know that’s a hard truth for us to get a grip on, but it’s true. We can be free to love each other as Jesus loves us.

E. That thought frightens us. We don’t want to change that radically that quickly, and we don’t know how to change that quickly anyway. In Leadership magazine, Roger Thompson wrote, Ever feel overwhelmed by the Bible's command to love unconditionally? When people ask me, "How can I ever start to love everyone like I should?" I give the same answer I give those who ask how they can start jogging: Start slow, and then get slower! For the first week, the goal is "just to keep moving." Too many people buy new shoes and a fancy running suit and sprint out the door, eagerly chugging as hard as they can for about three blocks. Then their stomachs begin to ache, their muscles cramp, and their lungs burn. They wind up hitchhiking home exhausted, and gasp, "I will never do that again." That's called anaerobic (without oxygen) running. It's caused by a body using up more oxygen than it takes in. Many people try to run that way, and many people try to love that way. They love with great fervor and self-sacrifice, giving 100 percent but without the resources to continue for a lifetime. Down the road they find themselves in pain, gasping and cramped, saying, "I will never do that again." Love, like running, must be aerobic. Our output must be matched by our intake. Running requires oxygen. An enduring love requires God's word, his consolation, his presence. As we love aerobically, we'll build up our capacity to do more and more. And pretty soon we won't be huffing and puffing for half a mile; we'll be running marathons (as cited on PreachingToday.com). As long as we think that it’s totally up to us, we’re dead. And as long as we think it’s totally up to God, we’re dead. We’re in partnership with God through the power of His Spirit to love one another as Jesus loves us. How does Jesus love us? Extravagantly!

F. I like it that The Message tells us to love extravagantly. Love extravagantly – what a great descriptor! 2 John 6 says, And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love. In John 15:9-14, Jesus says, “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10 If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command." Jesus laid His life down for us so that we can love one another. When Jesus said, “Now is the Son of Man glorified and God is glorified in him” He was referring to the fact that Judas had just left to betray Him. Nothing could stop the chain of events that was now set in motion that would lead to Jesus’ death. So when Jesus told us to love one another in that context, He really was saying that because He bled and died we can love one another.

G. So what do we do about all this? How do we love one another? Let’s start by looking at 1 Corinthians 13, because it shows us characteristics of love, and by default, what love is not like. Paul wrote, Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. What characteristics of love do these describe? Selflessness, self-sacrifice, and commitment to others. When we give up on God or on each other, or we push for our own ways no matter how much it hurts others, or we selfishly want what someone else has, be it possessions or spiritual gifts, that isn’t loving one another. Loving one another is giving ourselves without thought to the cost to each other and sticking with each other when the going gets tough. Love doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head, doesn’t force itself on others, isn’t always “me first.” Humility. One of the toughest things in the world for us. We’ve got our rights, after all. And yet Jesus bled and died to free us from the tyranny of our rights. When we’re prideful and think we know more than or are better than others, that isn’t loving one another. It’s loving ourselves. Loving one another is being humble and knowing that we don’t know it all and that we’re not better than anybody else and living out that knowledge in the way we treat others. Doesn’t fly off the handle, doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, doesn’t revel when others grovel. Forgiveness. When we fly off the handle it’s because we’re angry, and when we’re angry it’s because we haven’t forgiven someone. When we fly off the handle or we keep track of wrongs inflicted against us or we rejoice when others are humbled, that isn’t loving one another. Loving one another means examining our own hearts to find out why we’re getting angry and then dealing with it. Loving one another means making the choice to forgive even when our feelings don’t go along with our choice, because we know that unless we forgive others their sins against us God will not forgive us our sins. Loving one another means gently lifting up others who’ve been humbled and helping them get back on track, because we know that we’ve been in the same place they’re in and we’ll probably be there again.

H. Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end. Loves and lives God’s truth above self, loves and lives God’s hope above self, loves and lives God’s passionate persistent love above self. Loving each other means loving and living God’s truth – all of it, not just the parts we like. Loving each other means loving and living God’s hope for the future instead of settling for our world’s self-indulgent, nature-worshiping pessimistic viewpoint. Loving each other means passionately persisting in demonstrating that love no matter what happens. When we love each other, we place each other’s needs – emotionally, mentally, physically, socially, spiritually – above our own and serve them out of obedience to Christ.

I. An interesting thing happened just as I got to writing this part of the sermon. I received an online article by Phil Shaffer entitled “The Blessings of Obedience,” and what Phil shares fits so powerfully into what we’ve been talking about that I have to share part of it. Several years ago I awoke early in the morning wrestling with intense anxiety and pain. My mind focused on a crumbling marriage, threats to my business and my poor physical condition caused by years of gradual weight gain. Seeking emotional relief, I quietly slipped outside into the darkness. I watched as the first light of day penetrated the night sky, bringing color and life to the shadowy landscape. As I observed the beauty of a new dawn, a passage from scripture came to mind. In that moment I sensed God using his word to tell me “If I yielded to him,” he would produce ever- increasing light in my life. He promised to illuminate areas long shrouded in darkness. He assured me that my home would be filled with dancing and joy that would flourish in the absence of guilt from sin, relational strife and selfish attitudes. Something significant happened to me that morning. For months I focused only on my pain and on the unfair manner others had treated me. I medicated my pain in ways that amplified and prolonged my suffering. Now, in the quiet of the morning, I allowed God to speak new hope into my heart. While none of my circumstances changed, a monumental shift occurred in my soul. Instead of obsessing about my problems, I shifted my focus to the sovereign, loving God - the solution to my problems. I dreamed that the freedom and joy I craved might actually be possible. I pondered God’s choice of the words “If I yielded to him”. The wonderful blessings God promised me had a cost. I could experience an intimate, life- changing relationship with him only if I responded in obedience. If I yielded to God, he would bring about abundant blessings. To respond in obedience, I needed to lay down sin patterns used to soothe my pain or to bolster my position. I needed to discipline myself to spend time with him each day, allowing his Word to transform me from within. Vinita Hampton Wright said of the importance of obedience, “We do not like to think that God will bless us only if we act a certain way because that does not sound like ‘unconditional’ love. But we have overlooked the distinction between God’s blessing and God’s love. God’s love for us is steadfast, even as we hurt ourselves and each other. Yet God’s blessings are conditional; he loves us too much to bless or reward us for continuing in our destructive lifestyles.”

J. Are we going to settle for the pain of our pasts that is tearing us and our relationships apart, or are we going to surrender to God and love one another as Jesus loves us? In Leadership magazine, Don Bubna wrote, In order to be true to what I read in the Scripture, I have to take risks (as cited on PreachingToday.com). Jesus took a big risk when He bled and died for us – the risk that we would choose not to receive all of Him into our hearts and lives. Right now God is giving us the opportunity to leave our pains in the past and allow Him to help us love one another so that our world will know we are His and that He lives in us.

K. There may be some here who would like to be anointed and prayed for to leave your pain behind and get started on this lifelong journey of loving others as Jesus loves us. If you would like to be anointed and prayed for, please come forward now.

III. Communion

A. As we prepare to celebrate communion right now, I’d like us all to just take a moment and make sure our hearts are right with God. Maybe we don’t totally have a grip on this commandment to love one another, but we can surrender our hearts right now to follow and obey. Let’s just spend a moment preparing our hearts right now.

B. Our communion table today is a table of surrender and commitment. That’s what Jesus’ disciples were doing when they celebrated it the very first time, they just didn’t realize it. If you’re willing to be obedient in following God’s command to love one another as Jesus loves you, then come forward, take the bread and the juice, kneel at the altars if you’re physically able, and partake when you’ve surrendered to His call. Let’s all use this time to begin to leave our pains behind so we can obey His call to love one another as He loves us. If you’re willing to do that, come forward now.