I. Introduction

A. Illustration - Bill White writes, In what the news called "The Miracle at Quecreek," nine miners trapped for three days 240 feet underground in a water-filled mine shaft "decided early on they were either going to live or die as a group." The 55 degree (Fahrenheit) water threatened to kill them slowly by hypothermia, so according to one news report "When one would get cold, the other eight would huddle around the person and warm that person, and when another person got cold, the favor was returned." "Everybody had strong moments," miner Harry B. Mayhugh told reporters after being released from Somerset Hospital in Somerset. "But any certain time maybe one guy got down, and then the rest pulled together. And then that guy would get back up, and maybe someone else would feel a little weaker, but it was a team effort. That's the only way it could have been." They faced incredibly hostile conditions together—and they all came out alive together. What a picture of the body of Christ (as cited on PreachingToday.com). White is right in comparing what those miners did for each others to what Christ envisions His body to be. In fact, that’s exactly what the apostle Paul is talking about in Romans 12:10.

B. Romans 12:10 from the NIV – Be devoted to one another in brotherly love.

C. While that seems like a simple enough command, all of us have different ideas of what the word devoted means.

II. More Than a Feeling

A. My dictionary defines devoted as “to give or apply (oneself or one’s time) entirely… To dedicate, consecrate… to set apart for a specific purpose… loving, affectionate… zealous, ardent.” These descriptors give us part of what Paul is writing about. The word Paul uses is an interesting one. The word the NIV accurately translates as devoted and brotherly love is actually just one word – philostorgoi. Paul has this rather interesting habit of making up words when one doesn’t exist that will get across the meaning God wants. So in this case he combined two words that are forms of love, phileo and storge. Phileo means brotherly affection and love, and storge is the love of parents towards their children. What that gives us is a powerful word picture that helps us understand what this command is all about.

B. How do brothers love each other? Well, as long as they’re both in the same home, things can get a little hairy! I know that Ken and I fought and argued a lot. But as we’ve become more mature emotionally, we’ve become much more close than we’d ever been before. We don’t talk to each other a lot, but it seems like we’re able to communicate on a much deeper level. But one thing is for sure – even when we weren’t getting along, when we’d treat each other poorly, we’d still defend each other tooth and nail. It was okay for some family infighting, but if anybody outside the family tried to put us down, we’d jump all over them.

C. I found all this to be very true once when Kim and I were still dating. I make a rather derogatory comment about a member of the extended family which, although not flattering, was entirely true. She really got after me and told me that I couldn’t talk about him like that. And yet on several other occasions I had heard her making similar comments. Family members defend each other. Family members accept and love each other even when they disagree. But it is only when they are immature that they turn on each other. Remember what Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 13:11? When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Folks, in many respects, we’re still a bit childish in how we relate to each other. We may love each other and even grudgingly accept each other when we disagree, but we still tend to pick at each other. We’ve bought into our culture’s philosophy that we’re all supposed to be critics of one another. It has disgusted me how quickly people in our country have turned on each other and criticized and tried to place blame in the wake of Hurricane Katrina. Folks are calling for heads to roll and blaming for a response that did not meet with their expectations. They have not put childish ways behind them. They have not tried to see things from the organizers’ perspectives. They have not considered the scale of what those folks are facing. Think about it – an area 9,000 square miles wiped out. That’s an area about 95 miles long and 95 miles wide. Or think of it this way – it’d be about like driving from Portland to Medford and seeing an area fifteen miles wide on both sides of the freeway wiped out the whole way.

D. In the same way, we fail to recognize what the other person is going through. We don’t know all of their circumstances, or what they’re feeling, or even what God is doing in and through them. So we put on our childish ways and nitpick each other, in the church, in our families, even in our workplaces. I’m not placing blame or pointing fingers – I’m just as guilty as everybody else is. We’ve all allowed ourselves to buy into our world’s philosophy that we’re all supposed to be critics. Yet as Jesus commanded us to love each other with sacrificial love, Paul is explaining that part of that command is to love each other with a pure, mature brotherly love. It’s tough, but we can do it by the power of the Holy Spirit.

E. Then there’s the other part of the word – storge. Storge means loving as a parent. While the disciplinary part of parental love might be what first pops into our heads, what Paul is pointing to is the love of parents that defend and protect and accept and nurture at all costs. Watching some of the rescues from New Orleans, one thing stands out – the first one in line to get lifted to the helicopter is always the child. Mothers would practically shove their children into the rescuers’ arms to get them to safety as soon as possible. At the shelters, parents would give their children the first food and water. Reporters shared how some of the first questions parents would ask was how to get their kids into school. Parents defend and protect and accept and nurture their children above all else. They may not have the best skills in the world for doing it, but that is what they strive for. That’s the kind of love God is commanding us to have for one another. We show that love by defending and protecting and accepting and nurturing each other. We consider each other so precious that when one of us hurts, we all hurt with them. When one of us is in trouble, we’re all in trouble. When one of us has something good happen, it’s party time!

F. I realize that some of us by temperament and gifting are more nurturing than others, and so for some of us this might be a bit more difficult than for others. But we’re called to help each other. We need each other. That’s why we’re the Body of Christ. Others can help make up for our weaknesses and to see things from a different perspective. We can love and defend and nurture and protect and accept each other, because we are the family of God. We’ve just got to overcome our natural selfish nature to figure out how to do it. And this word that Paul has used will help us understand how. We can be fully devoted to God and fully devoted to each other. And when we are, God will do great things through us. Willow Creek pastor Bill Hybels wrote, You can do more through a handful of totally devoted believers than through a churchful of halfhearted ones (as cited on PreachingToday.com). Folks, as we talked about last week, we’ve allowed our pain and our fears to keep us from becoming the healed, whole and loving people God created us to be.

G. The key to this command is in understanding that we are family. By combining these two words into one, Paul is emphasizing this family tie between us. Marvin Vincent, in Word Studies in the New Testament, writes about philostorgoi: It is intended to define more specifically the character of philadelphia brotherly love, which follows, so that the exhortation is “love the brethren in the faith as though they were brethren in blood.” We are of the same blood, and that blood belongs to Jesus Christ. It’s such a simple truth to express, and yet so powerful and life-changing that we’re almost too stunned to accept it. If we start putting this truth into practice in our daily lives a little at a time, we’ll be amazed at how much we will change. Our attitudes and feelings towards each other and toward our world will be transformed one day at a time.

H. On Monday as I was making contact with the Stewarts about taking them food that folks from our church brought in for them, I was struck by how generously our people had responded to meet their needs and the needs of Emilie Powell’s family. I realized something that day. We do pretty well in showing each other love in the big things – crises that can seem overwhelming. But we don’t do so well showing each other love in the day-to-day little things. In the big things, we tend to put everything else aside and do whatever we can to help. But in day-to-day life, we tend to fall back on our own opinions and preferences and judgments. It’s so easy and comfortable to do I don’t think we really realize when our attitudes have turned the corner and we’re headed off in the wrong direction. We begin to judge and criticize and argue and we’re playing right into Satan’s hands. He uses that exact strategy to try to drive any semblance of philostorge out of our hearts and minds. He will do anything he can to destroy the Body from the inside out.

I. So what do we do about it? First, we’ve got to remember that God’s Word and not our judgments and opinions and preferences is the standard for what we believe and what we do. What does God’s Word tell us about being devoted to one another in brotherly love? Ephesians 4:1-6 says, As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit – just as you were called to one hope when you were called – 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6 one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. That’s a powerful passage and a reminder that God is with us in every single part of our lives, and not just the ones we’d like to show Him. If we philostorge each other, then we’ll be totally humble, gentle, patient, united, and peaceful with each other. That requires that nasty little thing called laying down our rights. It’s only nasty because our rights appeal deeply to our sinful nature so we hang onto them for dear life even when God’s Word tells us to do otherwise. Again, that’s playing right into Satan’s hands. Satan came to steal and to kill and to destroy. We would do very well to remember that the next time we’re tempted to hang onto our own rights. But being totally humble, gentle, patient, united, and peaceful with each other is one way we live a life that is worthy of the calling Christ has placed on us. If we truly philostorge one another, then we’ll remember that God’s Word is the standard for what we believe and what we do, and we’ll work with the Holy Spirit to get rid of anything in our hearts and minds that doesn’t measure up to the Word.

J. Second, we’ve got to learn to show our devotion to each other in our daily lives. The best way to begin is to set and work toward a daily goal of saying or doing something kind to or for someone we wouldn’t normally do it for. One little action each day will work powerfully to change our attitudes as well as our opinions and preferences. Then, when we’ve gotten one a day down pretty well, we move to two. I know it seems like a slow way to go, but big things and big changes always start small. Zechariah 4:10 says, “Who despises the day of small things? Men will rejoice when they see the plumb line in the hands of Zerubbabel.” A plumb line compared to the actual laying of the Temple foundations seemed like a tiny thing, but it got a tremendous process going. One small act of showing family love will start a wonderful process of transformation in all of our hearts and minds. God works powerfully through even such seemingly small steps of faith and love and obedience.

K. Third, when we feel tempted to criticize or judge or disrupt peace or unity, pray for the person we feel unkindly toward. Kim actually suggested this to me, and I think she heard it in a sermon somewhere – no, not one of mine. Pray for God’s abundant blessings and an outpouring of His Spirit on that person. If there are several, pray that way for all of them. When we pray for people, God’s greatest work through that process is to change our hearts. Yes, He does work to change theirs, but when He changes ours it doesn’t matter so much what the other person says or does. This is a hard one, because as I shared last week, resisting the temptation to keep score of the sins of others against us is very difficult for us to do. We feel justified, just as Jesus’ disciples did, in asking if we can call fire down on them because they hurt us. Something I read this week reminded me of an important but easy to forget truth. Hurting people hurt people. If someone’s hurting you, it’s because they hurt. If someone’s criticizing you, it’s because someone’s criticizing them. If someone’s judging you, it’s because someone’s judging them. Hurting people hurt people. When we pray for those hurting people who are hurting us, asking God’s blessings and an outpouring of His Spirit on them, we become part of the healing process.

L. Fourth, we’ve got to examine our own hearts and lives to see if God is convicting us for doing the same thing the person we’re not being devoted to in brotherly love. Almost all the time the thing we criticize or judge or disrupt peace or unity over is the same thing we’re struggling with. If we’re refusing to philostorge because someone is doing something we don’t agree with, it’s because God is convicting us in the same area of our hearts and lives. Just remember that when we point a finger at someone else, we’ve got all the other ones pointing right back at us. And when we get after someone for something we don’t have our heart right about, God will call us on the carpet for it. We become a hupocrites, a play-actor whom God is not pleased with. This is another tough area we all struggle with, because it’s a lot easier to divert attention away from us than it is to deal with our own hearts and lives. It would kind of be like the Army Corps of Engineers pumping the water out of New Orleans without dealing with the toxic sludge left behind. In our own hearts and lives that toxic sludge is sin, and it separates us from God. 1 Corinthians 11:31-32 from the New Living says, But if we examine ourselves, we will not be examined by God and judged in this way. 32 But when we are judged and disciplined by the Lord, we will not be condemned with the world. This passage is dealing with the taking of the Lord’s Supper, communion, in a dishonorable way, but the principle holds true in other areas. If we take the time to examine our own hearts and lives and deal with the sin we find there in the way we treat one another, God won’t have to deal with us about it. But if we don’t, God will examine, judge and discipline us to get us on the right track. If we respond to His discipline with philostorge toward one another, then we’ll keep our souls safe from eternal death. I hate to have this one be number four, because I’d like to have it be on a more positive note, but I have to proclaim the truth of God’s Word regardless. The positive aspect is the joy that we’ll have when we examine our own hearts and lives, find the areas God is convicting us in especially regarding how we treat one another, confess our sin and repent of it, and begin to learn how to be devoted to one another in brotherly love.

M. This is an incredibly powerful and life-changing truth for us to get a hold of, and one that will transform our church and our world for Jesus Christ. Think of the power of the love of Jesus we’ll have when we philostorge one another – that single-minded devotion to one another and to God will enable us to do great things for God. I want to share with you a powerful example of what philostorge can look like.

N. Illustration - Earl C. Willer tells the story of two meen who grew up best friends: Though Jim was just a little older than Phillip and often assumed the role of leader, they did everything together. They even went to high school and college together. After college they decided to join the marines. By a unique series of circumstances they were sent to Germany together where they fought side by side in one of history's ugliest wars. One sweltering day during a fierce battle, amid heavy gunfire, bombing, and close-quarters combat, they were given the command to retreat. As the men were running back, Jim noticed that Phillip had not returned with the others. Panic gripped his heart. Jim knew if Phillip was not back in another minute or two, then he wouldn't make it. Jim begged his commanding officer to let him go after his friend, but the officer forbade the request, saying it would be suicide. Risking his own life, Jim disobeyed and went after Phillip. His heart pounding, he ran into the gunfire, calling out for Phillip. A short time later, his platoon saw him hobbling across the field carrying a limp body in his arms. Jim's commanding officer upbraided him, shouting that it was a foolish waste of time and an outrageous risk. "Your friend is dead," he added, "and there was nothing you could do." "No sir, you're wrong," Jim replied. "I got there just in time. Before he died, his last words were 'I knew you would come.'" (John C. Maxwell and Dan Reiland, The Treasure of a Friend (J. Countryman Books, 1999), pp. 27-28; as cited on PreachingToday.com)

O. Folks, our world can be transformed if we sacrificially love and are wholeheartedly devoted to one another. We can get there, one day at a time, and see our world transformed. We can see suffering reduced, we can see hatred and bigotry reduced; we can see hearts and lives changed by the power of the blood of Jesus Christ. We can help those being deceived by the devil’s hatred to see that love is the best way as we live out our love and devotion to God and to each other every day of our lives. Sounds lofty, but one step at a time it is doable by the power of the Holy Spirit working within us. That’s our challenge today, folks, to learn to philostorge one another a little bit at a time. Will we answer God’s challenge?

III. Conclusion

A. Please bow your heads and close your eyes out of respect for one another’s privacy. What’s God been speaking to your heart about being devoted to one another in brotherly love? What’s God been speaking to your heart about loving one another as family, because that’s what we are? Let’s just take a few moments to listen to His voice whisper to our hearts, and then respond to Him in prayer. Surrender to His call to philostorge one another, and your life will never be the same.

B. Let’s pray.