He had some really felly smeet... uhh...feely smelt.... uhh... smeelly felt... Ah bullfeathers, his steet funk. |
FINKY STEET I had a friend across the street, we always called him "Finky Steet", Because his steet would fink beyond belief. Oftentimes we'd try to play, and did alright till the heat of the day When them finking steet would drive us all to grief. I remember the time we came upon a herd of skunks in Finky's lawn Who'd raised their tails to spray us with that spew! But Finky really got upset. He got as mad as he could get, An' he sat down and pulled off his right shoe. The mama skunk swooned an' fell and the others dropped them threatening tails An' headed fer th' drain pipe 'neath th' street. That's when we first began to see what a wonderful weapon he could be If he just took th' shoes from off them feet. Whenever Finky went to school he followed his own "Golden Rule" An' kept them finking steet in plastic bags. But some of th' school kids told their folks, an' Finky then became a joke And the brunt of all th' townsfolk's rotten gags. It got so bad we had to hide an' spend our playtime locked inside, An' y'know we couldn't have no fun that way. I bought a clothespin for my nose, an' Finky, he would wrap his toes Up good an' tight so we could romp an' play. But th' townsfolk ribbed him more an' more till it began to make him sore, An' things were quickly coming to a head. So we dreamed up a clever plan to help him get the upper hand An' teach them folks a lesson they would dread. We found a wagon sittin' round, an' drug it down to the end of town And sat ol' finky backwards on the seat. We hung his feet down off the back, an' I think I heard my clothespin crack The instant he unsheathed them finking steet. I dragged him slowly down the street while he kept swinging finky steet Back and forth in the gentle breeze that blew. Like shimmering waves of summer heat the stink rose up from off them feet And slowly swept through buildings old and new. I had to take another pin, and close my nose up tighter then. 'Cause even I was feeling kind of faint. Flowers and bushes wilted down as screamin' people left that town Reaching speeds that even airplanes can't. In about an hour the deed was done, and that whole town was on the run And nary a person bothered lookin' back. They learned their lesson, every one, and they found out it warn't no fun To joke about somebody's handicap. Now me and Finky live alone since all them nasty folks are gone And he keeps plastic bags upon his feet. But keep in mind, if any fool should ever try to ridicule They'll find out why we call him Finky Steet.
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