I am constantly aware that this page, as limited as it is, lacks a certain something. Maybe a flash of a Java counter. Maybe animated graphics. Maybe upbeat themes. Maybe a joke or two. Anyway, to any surfers who manage to stumble onto this site, I offer my apologies for not being more fun and these Official Excuses:

1. My dog ate my Java Script
2. I left my HTML for Dummies somewhere
   (If I could find it, do you suppose this page would look like this?)
3. My employer does not see the value in personal homepage construction in a professional setting (short-sighted, isn't he?)
4. I spend too much time reading my daily newsgroups to actually do anything.
   I am, however, very well informed about alien conspiracies and Star Trek plots.
5. I have no sense of humor. I have a two year old. It appears that you can only have one of these items at a time.
6. My Internet Fantasy Basketball team is losing and I am actually researching player statistics. (I am also really worried about myself at this point.)
7. I have two Internet Fantasy Basketball teams.
8. Everyone I work with calls me with their grammar questions and I know the answers. What does that tell you?
9. Superwoman doesn't live here anymore. 'Nuf said.
10. If I actually spent time working on my webpage, I wouldn't have any time to look at yours!