WHY I LOVE THE NEW POST 9/11 AIRPORT SECURITY
(Do you know what satire means?)
I feel so much safer at airports with the new security! It has been such a personal motivation to have to go to the airport two and a half hours before my flight so that I can wait in long lines while everyone takes off their shoes, hands over their dangerous lighters, nail clippers, shampoo, and so on before getting patted down. It is well worth it in order to provide employment and benefits to all those airport security personnel. Who knows what crimes they might commit or terrorist organizations they would join if we did not provide them with meaningful employment.
They are just the kind of people that make me feel safe, secure, warm, and fuzzy when I see the little card that indicates that they have rifled through my personal belongings in every checked bag. Be warned though! If you travel outside the United States you will find that most places in the world are still using the same lax security as before 9/11. They are letting people on planes without checking their shoes and there are people on those foreign planes carrying concealed weapons like fingernail clippers! If you value your life then don't leave the USA.
It is scary beyond reason. They donŐt even search every bag! It may be a fact that they have not had a single highjacking, but it is just a matter of time before some crazy sets off a shampoo bottle bomb. Then they will be sorry that they didnŐt follow our example of national paranoia!
I was feeling a little put off by all the people who have been supporting, but avoiding the inconveniences of airport security. It seems like those who do not have to fly like I do were getting the short end of the stick and missing out. Luckily they have now installed the same security system in most, if not all, courthouses. So, if you have been missing out, you can now get a similar experience every time you report for jury duty. The fun just doesn't end!
Frank Cook
December 2008