Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.
I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
Don't meddle in cat affairs, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer.
The dumber people think you are the more surprised they'll be when you kill them.
Stop it! you're setting a good example and you'll lower everyone elses' self-esteem!
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
Well, aren't we just a ray of freaking sunshine.
Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number.-Age 15 (Deep Thoughts)
If you don't like my driving, don't call anyone. Just take another road. That's why the highway department made so many of them.
I love deadlines. I especially love the swooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
The trouble with life is the lack of cool background music.