It grabs the luscious cube of cheese with both paws; tries to pull it free. With one swift movement......chhluuckk! Malta looses a third successive Government to the mouse-trap!

A daunting but possible scenario, given that this mousetrap is the latest hypersensitive addition to Malta's self-defense mechanism.

In 1996, we saw a Nationalist administration booted unexpectedly out of office; Labour suffered much the same fate in 1998. Both electoral losses were characterised by material swings, the likes of which unheard of in this country given the short time frames.

Why are Governments becoming so disposable? In both cases, this country impacted upon them like a mouse-trap.

Oddly enough, I wish to talk about bishops. Now, bishops and I have very little in common on a material level. We live in this land peacefully without ever crossing each other's path.

At least this was the case till the amiable Mgr. Depaspuale disturbed this status quo by pronouncing that we've lost our ability to sacrifice. How true, both on a spiritual and material level.

All this talk about sacrifices leads us to the Avis update issued Wednesday 18 February 1999. This report makes mince meat of our nation and talks openly about our woes, which woes can only be surmounted with the stiffest of sacrifices.

In days gone past, mandingo would return to the cave and inform his mate of an income-related emergency. She would spring into frugal action, buckle her expenditure and feed her brood on a varied menu of pasta, bread and water.

Try that nowadays; when the native exists on a day to day basis and only manages to improve his condition with the prop of domestic and plastic credit.

Given this inability to sacrifice, I fear that these natives will not take too kindly to any sacrificing. So how on earth are we going to buckle up to EU standards?

How are we going to make all the sacrifices which were swept under the carpet since Independence in such a short span of time?

For starters, the political class should stop talking in strange tongues. Whether we're booming or dooming (poetic licence) mainly depends on which side of the room they're facing. We want to know the precise truth, no more black or white. We want to hear about the EU, grey and shaded areas, warts and all!

Malta is quite different from the other larger mainland EU countries. This country is small, barren and cut-off. There is a deep whopping ocean separating us from our closest civilised neighbour. Everything comes to us at a higher cost and without the benefit of economies of scales found in the larger countries.

With no Kercem petro-liri yet in circulation, our output is the sweat of our collective endeavour. These factors have whipped us and moreover uplifted us since Independence.

Considering our situation, we haven't done too badly for ourselves. I admit that we are not the most efficient or productive of the lot but we're not that bad!

Malta must continue to look after its infrastructure, the diversity of which has protected it from foreign economic ravages and yielded stability over the years.

We should not go about dismantling all we've built and renege our past just to emulate our larger mainland neighbours. We cannot be like them because we are different. We will always need to carry some inefficiency (as opposed to flab) for the sake of posterity.

On the other hand, if it is clearly shown that we are carrying flab, let's tone it down. I believe, Malta might just pull up its little socks so long as the EU looks at it as an unfragmentable package.

This reminds of the story of the guy with spare cash. He split his money in equal portions and invested them in different currencies drawn randomly out of a hat. He left the money in these accounts for five years, untouched.

When he went to harvest his pickings, he discovered that the gains of one currency had protected him from the losses of the other. The result of this mumbo jumbo was that, his investment yielded a marginal percentage over the normal bank saving rate. In this instance, the diversity of the portfolio had protected him from the ravages of risk and given him a modest profit.

The EU must look at Malta with the attitude of this investor. Malta cannot be fragmented. All talk about interfacing is academic and unrealistic. Malta has to connect to the EU with the minimum of connections, a two-way wire would initially suffice.

Eventually this two-way wire could evolve into an interface of sorts. But all this will take time. We have no option but to focus on this problem in this manner or else......chhluuckk!

Comments ? mmagnet@geocities.com