The betrayel by Sharrah, the torture, and her escape, ate at me. I started... well... when you hear voices, it's not like they're real voices. Just things, inside, that tell you things. Things you don't want to hear, and sometimes they make you want to do things. Bad things. I hated the voices, but I knew sometimes they were right... about how bad I was, how much I deserved to die, how much I deserved the things Sharrah had the drakes do to me. The things she did to me.

I hated the voices. A lot.

I didn't tell anyone, though. It was comforting to be back in a strong aerie like Crag, and the new queen seemed too busy to notice me, which was good. Being noticed was the last thing I wanted, anymore. I hunted, and tried to fight my way up in the pecking order. And stayed away, always, from the other aeries. I didn't want to even think about Surukk, much less see him. I did think about him. But I didn't want to. He made Sharrah hate me, made her torture and almost kill me. He saved my life. I hate thinking about him.

Khasra and I stayed close, and he helped me a lot. Sometimes... things would happen that made me relive parts of what happened, and he would hide me away and shelter me. Two or three tried to tease and torment me about what happened. I found one of them, alone out in the forest. He screamed and screamed and screamed, until I got worried someone might find us, so I made it so he couldn't scream anymore. The other ones started leaving me alone after he never came back.

Maybe I'm not all that good a fighter, compared to the best. But I don't really even feel pain anymore. Except... when Khasra's on me. Then I want to feel it.

I fought with myself inside, fought with others, fought with any and everything... almost hoping that maybe something or someone would make the voices stop. Would make everything stop. Something almost did.