To Kill A Mocking Al:

4.8

Swine's Revenge

Written entirely and exclusively by: Bike Swine

I'll start out by saying that my title has absolutely nothing to do with my storyline. I had an idea, but now it has been changed. And I am just too darn lazy to do anything about it. So you can make up your own title.

Oh look, someone has already taken advantage of their opportunity.

After embezzling money from the kingdom of Cheesoria one last time, Bike Swine was thrown out. Many other things had led up to this though. First Oxymoron had gotten mad at Swine for not letting him play with his Amazon Women. So Oxymoron set all the Amazon Women on fire. This made Swine really mad, because he had paid a lot of money for them, so he retaliated. He retaliated by setting the Tower of Cheese on fire.

Oxymoron became really "peeved" when Swine wouldn't let him make cheese with Red.

"We can't go about making cheese with evil Commies. It wouldn't be kingly like. I mean, what would the citizens of Cheesoria think if their leader made cheese with a commie." But Oxymoron made cheese with Red anyway. (I know it is entirely gross to picture, but it will get a lot worse too. I'd tell you to get a barf bag, but that joke is worn out.)

Finally the embezzling thing came about. That sort of did it in for Swine. Oxymoron was having a bad day that day, so with Swine went a number of his friends too. Bean-O was banished for fixing Oxymoron's toilet. (Nice way to repay someone for doing something nice. Really makes you wonder about the insanity of Oxymoron.)

Chuckles also left with Swine for making Oxymoron mad. It had something to do with not being able to control his bodily functions while around Oxymoron. Finally to finish off the day, the Suicide Army was disbanded for not killing themselves. Oh, and I forgot to mention that all of the half naked Greek dudes were thrown out of the country for wearing more clothes than Oxymoron wanted them to. (You know how much it depresses him when he can't see hot sweaty guys with their shirts off.)

So out of the country were sent Swine, his brother Chuckles, leader of the now clothed Greek dudes Bean-O, what used to be the Suicide Army, and Swine's fully naked Greek dudes. They were sent to roam in the wilderness for forty years. Wait, that's another story I'm thinking of. They were transported off the planet by Swill Swill Swill. The Flannel god agreed to create a dimension in which Swine and company could live in.

The dimension consisted of three planets and a dimensional portal. Swine decided to set his planet of rule upon the largest planet of the three. (You did realize that Swine was going to rule, didn't you?) He named this planet Swine. He named the other two planets after his friends Bean-O and Chuckles. They would be given rule of each of the two planets. (Chuckles would rule the planet Bean-O and Bean-O would rule the planet Chuckles.)

Meanwhile back in Cheesoria, other people left on the planet were not happy. The Dark Queen had slapped Mocking Al silly after he tried to make cheese with her. Squid had sided with The Dark Queen and had tried to grind Al up and use him for drugs. However Al regained consciousness during the grinding process, and was not very happy as he awoke. He threatened to remove The Dark Queen and Squid from his posse if they tried another stunt like that. (I don't see that as real punishment, but we'll just pretend it's punishment to make the story flow smoothly.) So, lacking anyone willing, Al went and made cheese with his buddy Bob the walking nad, with whom he was also having homosexual relationships. (Point to stop and think. If making cheese does have a double meaning, and you know which meaning I'm talking about, I just repeated the same thing twice in that sentence. Seeing how I hate loopholes, I would never do such a thing. There is proof that making cheese has no double meaning.)

Extra; the clone that wants to be just like Al, has the same intelligence as Al, (none), looks the same as Al, (like a forest of ugly sticks fell on him) and has the same fascination with dingys as Al (he has none so any dingy seems fascinating); decided to make cheese with the evil communist named Red. (For all intensive purposes, Al might have well made cheese with her, because Extra is essentially an extra Al.)

On other places in Cheesoria, Oxymoron was wondering what he had done and ran about screaming frantically. "Help me, I've got gas!" (Not what you expected, was it?) Aside from not being able to control HIS bodily functions, Oxymoron decided that he needed to check around Cheesoria and see just how many friends he had left. To his knowledge, the only friends that he hadn't kicked out of the country were YimFry and Rashaka. YimFry was already mad at him for building an outhouse on sacred Cheesorian gravesites.

What the heck are you doing!? thought projected YimFry.

"I'm building an outhouse you idiot. What's it look like?"

You can't go about tearing up grave sight of Cheesoria's honorable men. (For Cheesorians are honorable men.)

"Sure I can. I'm the king. Everyone does as I say. Besides, what makes these men so honorable is that they would have done anything for their country. They gain honor after death by being used once again. They want me to do it. " Oxymoron thought projected the last sentence to place emphasis on his words.

YimFry became mad and flew away. "Now what have I done?" Oxymoron asked his only friend left, Rashaka.

"That's it! You've screwed up one time too many." yelled Al. "I want both of you to leave and never return." (Obviously Al was trying to do a cheap imitation of the way Oxymoron had killed him in the first two stories.)

"But we didn't do anything." both Squid and The Dark Queen protested.

"I don't care. I'm getting tired of embarrassing myself in the presence of ladies. Do you realize how hard it is to go to the bathroom and not embarrass someone?" (Namely Al embarrass himself, but I won't go into that because I'm in a good mood. However, if you feel that you need to take out your built up aggressions, you can continue thinking whatever you were thinking about.)

"Well if you would walk more than three steps away from one of us before striking fear into our hearts maybe you wouldn't be so embarrassed." cried Squid.

"Well maybe if you would at least walk away when it looks like I might do that."

"I run away screaming. I can't leave any faster than that."

"Well seeing how I am losing another argument, I hereby banish you from my evil and maniacal group."

"Well good. I was getting tired of those trips to Hell anyway. Next time, there won't be anyone to make all of the money to get you out of Hell."

"Hey, I contributed a whole three dollars to our bill."

"Yeah, but then it was subtracted because another guy sued for getting food poisoning from the food you prepared."

"That's it!" screamed Al. "Get out of here and leave me alone so I can cry."

So Squid and the Dark Queen left. Mocking Al was left with Hoodingy and his best pal Extra. He also had joined forces with Bob the walking nad and Red the evil Commie. So he requested that they also bring their armies with them.

So he had the DUH, CALF, and the EA to help him in his pathetic attempt on Cheesoria. He decided that this would be his final run at the throne of Cheesoria. Should he fail, as I will assure you now that he will, he would find something else to do with his pathetic life. (Hey, I had you fooled there for a moment didn't I? Mocking Al will continue his pathetic attempts at the throne of Cheesoria until he is deemed incapable.)

Out in another dimension, Swine, Bean-O, and Chuckles were busy setting up their new civilization. Swine had decided his capital city would be named Fruitville. After trading planets, Chuckles named the capital city on the planet Chuckles, Gasplains. One need only a vivid imagination to figure out why. The capital city was set directly next to a volcano, but Chuckles being the idiot who is not touched by death, decided to build his city there anyway. Bean-O named his capital city Mickeyland, in honor of the famous cartoon character.

Suddenly the dimensional portal began to swirl about in many iridescent colors. It looked sort of like someone had flushed a number of different color paints right down the toilet, with the center of the portal being the drain. Out of the portal emerged a Hypership. Not just any Hypership, but the one that you would recognize as Squid the druglord's Hypership, should you have ever seen it.

A picture of a five leaved green plant was on the side of it. Along with pictures of various Cheesorian drugs, there were also pictures of drugs from Squid's homeplanet. A purple plant that looked somewhat like a dried eggplant was also painted on the side. In tow, behind the Hypership was another small ship filled entirely with hypodermic needles. But you know what they were used for, so I won't bother to explain them.

The Hypership passed a dimensional travel sign that was hung nicely enough by Swill Swill Swill. The sign read "You are now entering Dimension Swine. Send Me Money!"

A few miles beyond that one (remember, traveling at high speeds such as warp three, or whatever this stinking thing flies at, signs that are a couple miles away don't seem that far away) there was another sign that said "Aliens Welcome". A few miles beyond that one, "But No Mocking Als". And finally there was a sign that said "Thank You, Come Again".

"Hey, let's stop here." said Squid to The Dark Queen.

"Are you sure you want to see Swine again?" asked The Dark Queen hesitantly. "He might be mad at Oxymoron for kicking him out and try to take it out on us." (I know, you're wondering how Squid and The Dark Queen knew that Swine had been kicked out of the country. Well since you obviously forgot, I'll tell you. Squid has alien ESP. That's how they knew. Now, are there any other questions?) (To answer that question, I won't do that.) (I have Swine ESP so you can't get away with those thoughts any longer, now can you. And might I add that someone reading this story shouldn't be thinking those horrible things about Oxymoron. You know who you are, so I'm not going to jeopardize my safety by saying who.)

"No, my alien ESP says that he misses his Amazon Women and would be happy with the company of two females." (Think what you want here. I can honestly say that no double meaning was intended here, however if you think hard enough, I know you can find one. I also left out an opportunity to bust on The Dark Queen and Squid, so Oxymoron, if you wish, you may mentally add in your comment here.)

"I guess that we might as well go down to the planet."

Down on the planet Swine, the Hypership landed and charred the green grass about its landing sight. Swine was standing not far away from the landing sight, waiting. "I have one request of the two of you." started Swine. "You must take a bath and wash the Alness off of yourselves." So in agreement, Squid the druglord and The Dark Queen washed themselves off.

What followed was totally unexpected Squid the druglord appeared to have an uncanny resemblance to Klaws from Canadia. And since there has been no actual description of Klaws, I think I can spend some time to describe them. Aside from the long fingernails, Squid looked just like Klaws so I'll describe Squid (Notice I didn't add druglord. After losing her Alness, Squid lost her craving for drugs.) and you should be able to get an accurate picture of both.

Squid had long flowing brown hair reaching halfway down her back. And deep brown eyes that reached the depths of eternity. Now with a face that made the angels blush, one could see that Alness is worse than any acid trip that even Satan can take. In one word, Swill Swill Swill, who was still on the planet helping build, summed up the entire situation. "Wow!"

The Dark Queen underwent a no less dramatic transformation. Her hair turned from the horrid greasy black it had been, to a golden yellow. It blew in the wind like the ripest of grain on a late summer's evening. Her eyes sparkled like diamonds in the glistening sun. Her face was more beautiful than the mythological Helen of Troy. Surely if Helen's face had launched a thousand ships, hers would launch ten thousand. Swine stood in amazement and had nothing more to say than to repeat the same thing Swill Swill Swill said, "Wow!"

So it is now obvious that being around Mocking Al can not only drive one crazy, but also take beauty and turn it into such horrid ugliness that only the darkness of Al's face can hide it. Just think of what would happen to Cheesoria, should Mocking Al ever be driven from the planet.

Back in Cheesoria, Oxymoron was still wondering what he should do. Aside from the pathetic citizens of San Freakville, he had no one left to defend him should Mocking Al attack. He was too full of pride to take Rashaka's advice and go ask Swine to come back. And if he guessed right, the other dragons from the Mountain of Privies wouldn't help him any longer, since he had disgraced one of their fellow members. (He had expected YimFry to go to the Mountain of Privies.) So he was really stuck. So he did the only thing he had enough nerve to do. He went home and slept with his Barney doll.

During the night he had a dream. It was more of an omen. In the omen an ugly guy was standing on top of a grassy hill and speaking to a bunch of whining crybabies. "Fiends, Cretins, countrymen, and I do use the term loosely, lend me a beer. (This was my line, and I intend to use it.) I come to belch at Oxymoron not to urinate on him. The evil that Oxymoron has done to us, can not be forgotten. But the good he has done for us, which is nothing, will be remembered. The ugly man thought I had a brain. If I had a brain, I would have used it by now to kill Oxymoron. But I have none, so it is my own fault. Some idiot asked me to speak here, so I accepted his invitation. He was an ugly man, and so were all his friends, but he is still gonna let me speak. I have no friends so I can't mourn for them, but the ugly man said I was ugly, and the ugly man is ugly. The non-existent dingy god gave me nonexistent dingy powers that I brought back to you to fill my general toilet. And when some guy hit me, I wept. Mirrors should be made of stronger stuff so they don't break at the sight of me. Yet the ugly man said I was ugly, and the ugly man is ugly. You all did see that on Saint Patrick's Day I did flatulate three times. But I smelled it only twice. Did it stink? Yet the ugly man said I was ugly, and, sure, the ugly man is ugly. I come to belch not to cover up my stench, but to belch to add to my stench. You all hated me once, not without cause. What, besides the horrible smell, keeps you from hating me again? O stench, you have gone to rabid beasts and I have gone crazy. Bear with my lack of stench, I stuck my head in a coffin with a dead man and the dead man won't let go of it. I must pause until the dead man gives me my dingy back."

It is obvious that Oxymoron was having a dream with Mocking Al in it, which automatically makes it a nightmare. "Nooooooooooooooo!" screamed Oxymoron. "This can't be a good sign. (Which is why it's an omen.) I must seek help at once." So Oxymoron turned to the only people he knew that would still help him, the Canadians. To make himself feel safer, he also doubled the height of SANTA hoping that it would keep Mocking Al out. (But since Squid has left Cheesoria, Squids Are Not Tolerated Anywhere has sort of become a useless acronym, but he decided to keep it anyway.)

The Canadians received Oxymoron's letter and appeared in a scant three seconds. The Flannel god and Klaws both agreed that it would be best to let Oxymoron's mother out of jail. (Hey, I know you weren't expecting that.) So Oxymoron let his mother out of jail, and she hit him over the head as soon as she got out. "Maybe this will knock some sense into you." she yelled.

And, wouldn't you believe it, it did. Oxymoron suddenly became the wisest man in all of Cheesoria. So, seeing that they had done their job, The Flannel god and Klaws returned to Canadia. Oxymoron used his now almost infinite wisdom to construct a new Suicide Army, only he decided that he would train them all in many skills so that they would take the place of the half naked Greek dudes, HN GONAD, and the old purpose of the Suicide Army. They were taught in the art of sheep stomach throwing, paper airplane making, pain reduction, and of course, the fine art of committing suicide. Since the Suicide Army can serve no useful purpose, Oxymoron had to name his new elite group of suicidal freaks, The Suicidal Freaks, or SF for short. They were also taught how to disembowel themselves and then throw their own guts at the enemy to try to stop them.

Also in his newly acquired knowledge Oxymoron decided to try to reason with YimFry to get the help of the dragons. He decided to thought project over the long distance to the Mountain of Privies to add to the effect. I'm sorry YimFry. Can you ever forgive me? I was wrong to disgrace the graves of Cheesoria's honorable men. Once again, you were right. "Now if you weren't such a power freak that wants to control even the king of Cheesoria you wouldn't believe this lie. But yet I can see in my great wisdom that you will come back to me so you can have another chance to impress your "great" ideas upon me. That whack in the head increased my knowledge even beyond yours, YimFry, and I will use it to get rid of you and make it still be your fault." Oxymoron mumbled the junk that wasn't italicized to himself.

Off in some desolate area of Cheesoria, Mocking Al was speaking to the armies he had acquired. The Demonic Undead Horde, the Extra Army, and that stupid CALF thing that the Commie had were all listening intently. They were obviously stupefied, for they could look at Mocking Al and not feel their eyeballs melt in their sockets. "Idiots of all kind, I have gathered you here today so that I may begin our largest assault on Cheesoria."

Everyone looked about, for they were tired of looking at Al. One of the Extras commented, "Just what happens if we get killed?"

"I'll cry. Then I'll produce more of you pathetic idiots."

"Hey, let's remember that we pathetic idiots are exactly like you."

"I guess you're right. Okay then, I'll cry, then make more of you incredibly sexy idiots."

"That's better." said the Extra clone.

"As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, today we launch our most massive assault on San Freakville yet."

"You said Cheesoria before."

"I don't care, I meant San Freakville, and you knew it! I am leaving the DUH to get rid of SANTA. I believe that our best course of action would be to strap explosives to yourselves and charge the wall. Hopefully, being undead and all, you won't die."

The undead horde sort of groaned, then Bob spoke up. "We'd be happy to lay our lives down for you Al, especially since we always come back to life."

"Good. Now CALF, when SANTA is down, I want you to go about posting evil Communist propaganda about the streets of San Freakville. Hopefully we can get the citizens scared by using your evil Communist tactics."

"Any good use my propaganda can be put to, Al." Red replied.

"While the citizens are scared senseless, I will go into the Tower of Cheese and search for Oxymoron. (I know, Swine burnt it down, but Oxymoron rebuilt it.) Once I come out without finding him, Hoodingy, I want you to set the tower on fire."

"I'll use my magic to serve you Al." responded Hoodingy.

"What should I and my EA do?" asked Extra.

"I want you, starting now to continually make copies of yourself. We should be able to overcome Oxymoron by shear numbers, seeing how the rest of our plan is horribly pathetic."

"Will do, sir." (Did you hear that? He called Al sir. He obviously doesn't know who he is talking to.)

So Al and his minions set to their tasks. And I won't bore you with the details. I'll switch back to another scene.

While all of this was taking place, Swill Swill Swill and Swine were still stupefied by the miraculous transformation that Squid and The Dark Queen had undergone. Finally Swine could speak. "You look beautiful, how come you didn't wash the Alness off of yourselves before?"

"Does it matter what you look like on the outside? Or is what one looks like on the inside that counts?" replied Squid.

"Besides, should we have always looked like this, Mocking Al would have had all sorts of sick thoughts run through his head. And should an actual thought run through his head, his brain would fuse to his skull and start to smoke." added the Dark Queen.

"Well, I think that your old names are hardly befitting of you now. We must come up with new names for you." said Swine. Swill Swill Swill still hadn't said anything. His eyes were sort of glazed over, and a blank look had came across his face.

Finally he snapped to attention as if some being in another dimension had just given him a wedgie. "Wagh!" he said, coming out of his momentary trance. "I think Squid should be renamed Cassie, from the mythological Cassiopeia, the woman who was more beautiful than the goddesses of the sea."

Squid, now Cassie, agreed to the new name. "Okay, now my turn." piped in Swine. "I suggest that we change The Dark Queen's name to The Queen of Love and Beauty, like from Medieval times." (You know, like from Ivanhoe.)

"No," objected Swill, "that's too long of a name. Try another one."

"Okay, let's try Venus, after the Roman goddess of love and beauty."

"Get real. How many people do you know that are named Venus?" (How many people do know that are named Swill, aside from one of the respected authors of these stories?)

"Okay, one last try. I think The Dark Queen should be renamed The Queen of Goodness and Light."

The Dark Queen finally added her opinion in the matter, "Why don't you just call me The Light Queen, to signify the drastic change I have undergone."

Swine and everyone else agreed to the new name. "So then it is settled. I, as king of this dimension, hereby change your names to Cassie and The Light Queen."

"I'm just wondering, but what am I the queen of?" inquired The Light Queen.

"I guess goodness, virtue, and integrity."

"Don't those all mean the same thing?"

"Okay, when I decide what you are queen of, I'll get back to you." So they left it at that. And the four of them set to work on constructing the rest of the cities on planet Swine. With the help of Swill Swill Swill it wasn't that hard, but still time consuming, because the right location had to be chosen and all of that other stuff.

On the planet Bean-O things were already fairly well set up, and Bean-O had already set up his important government offices, like the police department, the fire department, and the asylum. (One must always have one of those nearby. You don't want the weird psychotic freaks roaming the street now do you? They are supposed to be working in high governmental positions.)

However, Bean-O's police department had proven itself to be too efficient. The police fined him for not being able to control his dog Baron. The story goes something to the effect that Bean-O let Baron outside, for being the ruler and all, he can do that. And Baron decided that she (Yes I did day she. Bean-O has two dogs, Baron and Byron.) needed to water one of the neighbor's bushes. The neighbor was nice enough to report the dog to the police and Bean-O was greeted one day by a police officer holding a forty-five dollar fine in his hand.

Bean-O no longer has any problems with his neighbor though. Shortly after his unpleasant surprise, he had his neighbor executed and the body sent to Cheesoria to be put in the school's food. Also, Bean-O has worked the bugs out of police system. The day after he received his fine, he paid the police office. Then he proceeded to pull a hand grenade out of his pocket. He pulled the pin out of the grenade and threw it at the building. (The pin, not the grenade. Grenades work slightly different in the mind of psychotic freaks, especially when they are in different dimensions.) The building went up in a fiery explosion and Bean-O went off to look for new police officers.

On Chuckles planet, chaos still reigned. No form of government had been set up, although Chuckles had declared himself ruler. The capital city, Gasplains, had been built and the rest of the planet, half the size of the moon, was pretty much suburbs of the city. Chuckles had asked Swine if he could have the elite Suicide Army members on his planet. Swine granted his request and sent the twelve members to his planet. Do to the fact that, as you know but most likely forgot, Cheesorians reproduce very rapidly, there were now fifty thousand of them. (They don't usually live that long, but do to the fact that Chuckles was trying to establish a population, he didn't have them kill themselves yet.)

Chuckles had requested of the elders of the planet, (after all they were a whole month older than the generation now being born), to teach him the proper methods of how to torture oneself without actually hurting oneself. Unfortunately in their efforts, all the oldest members of the ESA (elite suicide army) died. But Chuckles had learned enough to become really obnoxious. And because I was stupid enough to let him be a good guy, even when he ripped off his arm and blood gushed all about, he still didn't die. He simply went to one of the twenty hospitals that he had stationed around the city, and he would have his arm sewn back on. (Chuckles knew that he was prone to accidents, so he had hospitals spaced about every two miles on the boarders of the city. The whole reason behind becoming impervious to pain was so he wouldn't hurt himself the next time he ran a truck over his foot. Or set another missile off while "tweaking" it. Or let's not forget his little incident with the nuclear power plant and the meltdown. He didn't die, but I think that it hurt him just a bit.)

Thanks to his increased intelligence, Oxymoron was able to lure YimFry back to Cheesoria. Also at Oxymoron request, the other two hundred dragons came with Oxymoron. (Even Harvey.)

I need all of you to help me defend San Freakville, Oxymoron projected. Mocking Al is expected to strike at any time now. I would like to have fifteen dragons defend SANTA so that Al will hopefully be held back long enough that my reinforcements will arrive. It is inevitable that Mocking Al will break through SANTA. My scouting reports have told me that Extra has been cloning himself for the past day now, and we are outnumbered by Extras by around twenty-five to one. The odds are not good for our success.

Would you like me to do something? projected YimFry through the mass confusion of thoughts. I might be able to break enemy lines and destroy or at least damage the cloning device.

I think it would be better if I went alone. I will be much less easy to see, argued YimFry.

Oxymoron was busy scribbling down something on a piece of paper while YimFry was giving a soliloquy on how he must follow the rules or he should be severely punished. Here are the rules, said Oxymoron, handing YimFry a piece of paper.

Rules for destroying cloning devices: Above all importance, one must take a team of twenty-two dragons to destroy a cloning device. This is written in the sacred annals (huh, huh, I said annals) of cheese. One who does not follow this shall have the harshest penalty enforceable under dragon law brought against them. Of second importance for leading a mission to destroy a cloning device is that the leader must refrain from any method of reproduction thirty-six hours prior to leaving on the mission.

I must ask, started YimFry, what is the deal what the refraining from reproduction?

Well, a cloning device works on the concept of DNA multiplying. Should you have tried to reproduce in the past thirty-six hours, DNA may still be somewhere on your body. (It would be anyway, but we'll ignore this minor detail.) You know, like in criminal cases, how they find blood and stuff. Also a human cannot destroy a cloning device for the fact that should a hair be dropped into the device, it would make a big mess out of things. Being a dragon, you have no hair, and therefore can destroy the device.

Of course Oxymoron had just fed YimFry the biggest line of bull ever, but he was able to use his intelligence to make it actually seem believable. So YimFry set off to destroy the cloning device.

After YimFry had left, Oxymoron addressed the rest of the dragons. I want the rest of you to stand around and act like a bunch of idiots. Better yet, go outside the city walls and act like a bunch of idiots.

What purpose will that serve? asked one of the dragons.

I'm not sure yet. I'm waiting for this lamebrained author to come up with a useful purpose to do this myself. Oh, wait, now the author wants me to send half of you remaining dragons to CNPP. This serves even less purpose than acting like idiots, so it must be a good idea.

So the rest of the dragons left. And they awaited the assault from Mocking Al.

In a not far off area, Mocking Al and all of his forces were marching toward San Freakville. Actually Al, being very uncoordinated, pretty much tripped onward toward San Freakville. "We've almost made it to San Freakville." announced Mocking Al. "I think that if we stick to our plan, and pray for a miracle, that we will be able to finally conquer Mocking Al."

Just outside of SANTA, the evil Al posse saw 75 dragons running around, acting like idiots. One dragon was beating another dragon over the head with a baseball bat. A large group of dragons were playing poker while some were standing by SANTA, smoking. Harvey seemed to be leading the chaos. He was standing on top of SANTA, mooning the rest of the dragons. Oxymoron flew over the chaotic dragons on Rashaka.

Oxymoron could see that Mocking Al's army stretched from SANTA all the way to the cloning device, where more Extra's were being pumped out by the second. The situation didn't look good for our heroes.

On the planet Bean-O, Baron was pregnant. As it turns out, Byron does more than go "Woof!" (Byron doesn't like that remark. I could tell from the tone in his "Woof!")

While Baron was having her babies, the battle had gone into full swing. The fifteen dragons that were to defend SANTA were flying about, breathing fire on Bob's undead followers. (Fire harms the undead. I have to wonder how the fact that these undead come straight from Hell will affect the situation.)

The DUH, however, only gained strength from the fire, since they were used to burning in Hell's fury. (I guess that answers my question. Now I must wonder how one could get used to burning for eternity.) From atop SANTA the SF stood, throwing sheep's stomach down on top of the unsuspecting fiends.

Suddenly a massive explosion rocked everyone within the neighboring three dimensions. The Demonic Undead Horde had managed to blow a hole the size of Manhattan in SANTA. The undead fiends had been blown apart, but were reforming once again as Red's evil communist followers rushed into San Freakville to distribute their propaganda.

And where was Mocking Al while all of this was going on? I have no idea. What am I, his mother? (Now there's a scary thought.) Should I know where he was. Okay, fine. I'll tell you. Al was somewhere among the masses of Extra clones, cleverly blending in with the ugliness.

Suddenly Al had a thought. (Well, it was close enough to a thought.) He needed to get into San Freakville to enact phase three of his diabolical plan: the searching for Oxymoron and not finding him part.

Despite Al's so called cleverness by hiding amongst the clones of a clone of him, Al was still spotted due largely to the fact that not even a heavy duty industrial strength cloning device can fully reproduce the ugliness of Al. One of the SF hit him in the face with a sheep's stomach. Al fell to the ground where he struck his head and fell unconscious. Oxymoron also saw Mocking Al, and commanded Rashaka to swoop in and pick him up. (There is a reason for this, but I'm not going to tell you yet.)

Back at the Extra cloning device, things were going so well, for anybody. Extra had somehow managed to screw up the last thousand or so Al clones that he made. He had gotten a piece a grass in the machine and it had been added to Al's DNA. This increased the Extra clones' intelligence significantly.

The clones had seen YimFry and his group of twenty-two dragons flying towards them and devised a plan. Not just a typical Al plan, but a good one. As YimFry flew over the clones he saw all of them playing Monopoly. However, they were going around the board backwards.

"NOOOOOOO! They can't do that! They must follow the rules!" screamed YimFry. He then passed out after he saw one of the clones steal a ten-dollar bill from the bank. This sort of ruined the plan to destroy the cloning device, seeing as YimFry was the only one who knew anything about dismantling a cloning device. So the dragons flew YimFry's body back to San Freakville.

YimFry's body was cold and limp. His blood hovered only slightly above the coagulation point, where blood stops moving entirely. YimFry would probably not come out of his present state unless attended to by a dragon healer. Unfortunately, the only dragon healer among the dragons was still a baby. The last healer had died years before and no dragon had been born with the healing ability until two years ago. By the time the baby is old enough to heal YimFry's condition, fourteen years will have passed. So YimFry was as good as dead for the next fourteen years.

Back at San Freakville, things were not looking good for our heroes. In the absence of Mocking Al, the evil fiends that he was associated with had made their own plan. Hoodingy was called upon to set the city of San Freakville on fire. After the chanting of a few words, and a little dance, fire fell upon the city.

Citizens ran about screaming. The SF, seeing nothing else to do, committed suicide. CALF ran about, screaming about freedom for anyone who followed them. And the citizens, being Cheesorians, believed them, and sided with CALF. So our heroes had been pretty much surrounded.

To the left of Oxymoron's army, or to be more specific the remaining dragons, was CALF and the nimbleminded citizens of Cheesoria. To the right of the good guys were Bob and his undead army. Both in front and in back of them were thousands of Al clones.

The idiots were beginning to converge on our heroes to put them to their untimely death, when Oxymoron started yelling. "Hey bad guys. I got something you don't got. I know where your leader is."

"So what. We don't care. Mocking Al is an idiot anyway." replied Hoodingy. (Hey, with friends like that, who needs enemies.)

But Oxymoron reached to his side, and pulled up a plastic bag. Everyone gasped. Many people went hysterical. The undead horde killed themselves, but came back to life in an instant.

What was it, you ask? Well Oxymoron had shown all of them Mocking Al's face. Unfortunately, Oxymoron's geniusness must have been wearing off. All of Al's followers had been used to seeing his face. Therefore it didn't exactly give the effect that Oxymoron was hoping for.

So Hoodingy, having taken charge, ordered the Extra army to tie all of the good guys up. And there wasn't much resistance, seeing that there was no way to escape. Red suggested to Hoodingy that he cast an incredibly evil spell on them. She suggested the most horrible torture possible to be done to the good guys. She suggested that he cast the spell of homework on all of them.

Hoodingy agreed, and started chanting. "Page 447 #'s 1-55 odd. E=MC². Read War and Peace, and write a fifteen thousand-word essay on it. Have it on my desk by tomorrow. No extra credit. All assignments are graded. Study for your test tomorrow. Keep your notebook up to date. Notebooks will be checked and graded. Si yo soy." And Hoodingy continued on.

Luckily enough for our heroes, a large Hypership appeared above them, casting a large black shadow over everyone. Suddenly all of the good guys disappeared. However they reappeared in the transporter room of Cassie's Hypership. "It's about time!" complained Oxymoron.

"What are you talking about?" asked Swine. "I could have waited at least another ten seconds before you were killed." (Which by the way, is really waiting to the last second, seeing that the good guys never die.)

"Well if you weren't such a procrastinator."

"Hey, are you alive or aren't you?"

"We don't have time to argue. We have bad guys to kill." So they ran to the turrets on Cassie's Hypership. Immediately they started mowing down Extras. However there were so many of them, that after the first fifteen thousand or so, they ran out of bullets.

"This is bad." commented Bean-O. Suddenly they saw more bad news. In the rear view mirror of the Hypership, (Who wants a mirror to view their rear?) they saw a ship behind them. In the ship was Red the evil communist, and Bob.

The alien ship that Red had stolen a few stories ago, fired upon the Hypership with all of its forward arsenal. The shields on the Hypership held, but failed after the second barrage of weaponry. The Hypership started to fall to the ground.

"Everyone beam off the ship!" commanded Chuckles. (There's a scary thought. Chuckles giving orders and people actually following them.) So everyone rushed to the transporters. Meanwhile the ship was still in its plunge toward the planet, and it was picking up speed.

"We're not all going to have time to transport off the ship!" screamed The Light Queen.

"I'll stay with the ship." said Swine. "If I hadn't have been stupid enough to be kicked off the planet, this probably wouldn't have happened."

"No, it's my ship. I'm staying." said Cassie.

"If she's staying, then I'm staying." said the Light Queen.

All of the dragons that hadn't already left also stayed on, for the sake of honor.

Chuckles, Bean-O, and Oxymoron left via the transporter. Oxymoron had said that not even he was stupid enough to stay on the ship. Chuckles had wet his pants by the time he had reached the transporter. Bean-O slapped Chuckles alongside the head, just because Chuckles was being an idiot.

"Hey, what are we going to do with him?" said Swine, pointing to Mocking Al, who had still been with Oxymoron when he was beamed up.

"Oh just throw him out the window." said Cassie. "If we're all going to die, that last thing I want to see certainly isn't Al's face." So as the Hypership plunged closer and closer toward its imminent doom, Swine, Cassie, and The Light Queen threw Al out of the window. In a cruel twist of fate, Mocking Al gained consciousness shortly before he hit the ground. You could say that Al left an impression on the ground, as he hit it.

Seconds before impact, Oxymoron transported off the ship. His last words to Swine were, "If somehow you, being the good guy, manage to live, and we somehow defeat Mocking Al's friends, we're going to Ali Baba Land. Should you die though, do me a favor, and don't die in the arms of The Light Queen. I don't want to have come clean up your remains, and see that you are all her, or she over you. Die honorably by cowering in a corner, waiting for you body parts to be splattered about the ship, making huge mess that will take me weeks to clean up."

With that Oxymoron the moron left. Swine didn't even have time to ask him why he would die in the arms of The Light Queen. He could only assume that Oxymoron knew something that Swine apparently didn't. (Which is a real stretch of the imagination.)

-I believe now is time for a huge dramatic pause. Go get a Coke. Better yet, get Mountain Dew. Beside the minimal side effects, the caffeine will keep you awake long enough to finish this story. Drink a whole bottle of it. Drink two bottles of it. Send me Mountain Dew. Send me money. Give me your homework. Kill Commies. Get a haircut. Kill Al. Eat cheese. Make cheese. (Not a subliminal message.) Send me some more money. (This is a subliminal message.) This has been a test of the emergency broadcast system. Should this have been an actual emergency it would have been followed by a lot of screaming and panicking.-

Oxymoron the moron rematerialized three seconds before the Hypership slammed into the earth. The ship burst into flames immediately on impact. The ship split open and scattered itself about for half a mile. It would take a lot of time to find the remains of anyone from this crash.

Oxymoron felt sick in the stomach. For the first time he was feeling actual human emotions other than his usual deranged psychoticness. Oxymoron walked over to where YimFry's unconscious body had been laid. "This is all your fault!" he began screaming. "If you weren't such a rules freak and passed out when you see some fools playing Monopoly incorrectly, you would have been able to destroy the cloning facility. Then we wouldn't have gotten into such a mess and had to have been taken away in Cassie's Hypership. Now she's dead! They're all dead!"

Oxymoron kicked YimFry's body, but it made no difference. YimFry was in a dragon state of comatose and could feel nothing. Oxymoron's emotions changed wildly, as if they were coming out for the first time ever. He left his state of rage and began to cry. Not just petty crying like after cutting your finger, but bitter weeping. He started mumbling incoherently about it not being fair that Swine was dead.

Then he flew into another mad rage. He saw a group of Extras and tore into them. He managed to kill one hundred Extras in the following three minutes. He flew into the first twenty with his bare hands. Then he found a tree branch that he used as a club. Finally with a surge of superhuman strength, he picked up a five hundred pound rock and hurled it on top of a group of thirty Extras.

In Red's spaceship, Red and Bob the walking nad watched as the Hypership burst into flames. They shouted in victory and danced about. After they had finally calmed down, they started to wonder what they should do next. They had killed Oxymoron and his friends, but what good did it do for them. They had no wanting to rule Cheesoria, so they finally decided to leave the dimension and find another planet to ransack and plunder.

After seeing the nasty explosion a few miles away, Extra started wondering what was going on, and stopped cloning himself long enough to go find out. He walked to the remnants of San Freakville and met up with Hoodingy. Hoodingy was left with control of the citizens of San Freakville that the evil Communist had used to mind control to take over. He got tired of commanding the imbeciles though, so he started casting spells on them and bringing lightning bolts upon them. The EA was still a few thousand strong and posed a threat to Oxymoron and the dragons that remained. Extra, being the duplicate of Al, decided to take charge in the absence of their leader.

Extra began barking orders at the EA. Then he asked one of them why they were afraid to do anything. "Oxymoron is on a rampage. It seems Bike Swine has been killed. Oxymoron's not very happy about it. He has been killing Extras for the past three minutes, like there's no tomorrow. I'm not going anywhere near him." said one Extra.

After his burst of adrenaline wore off, Oxymoron went to Rashaka and started bawling. There's no point to life. What does it matter if I die, I don't have any reason to live. My kingdom is in ruins. My friends are dead. Well everyone except Bean-O and Chuckles, but they're a bunch of buffoons. Should I even live, and conquer the EA, what is left to do?

As Rashaka was speaking to Oxymoron, a vaguely familiar ship flew across the sky and landed near Oxymoron. In it was Swill Swill Swill. Oxymoron walked over to the ship and inspected it. IT WAS THE TIME MACHINE!

(Okay, a paragraph is needed to explain how this can be. At the end of 4.4, it was made known to you that Swill Swill Swill accidentally took Mocking Al forward in time before he figured out how to work the time machine. Guess what. This is where and when he brought Mocking Al to.)

"What the heck are you doing here?" yelled Oxymoron. (I just explained this to you, so I won't explain it again.) So after telling Swill all of the horrible details, Swill agreed to go back and save Swine, Cassie, and The Light Queen, along with the other dragons. So we're gonna zip back in time.

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Seconds before the impact of the Hypership, the mood on the Hypership was not very happy. Many of the brave and noble dragons were huddled in a corner, whining about how it wasn't fair that Oxymoron could leave, but they had to stay. Swine had decided to die with Cassie and the Light Queen, seeing that they were the only humans on the ship, and Swine and the other dragons hadn't gotten along the greatest in times past.

"I've decided what you can be queen of." Swine said to The Light Queen. "If we somehow live through this, I want you to reign with me as queen of Fruitville."

Before she could reply Mocking Al regained consciousness and jumped on Swine's back and tried to strangle him. (Since we went back in time, Mocking Al hasn't been thrown out of the Hypership yet.) Swine hit him in the head and knocked him unconscious again. Then he proceeded to tie Mocking Al up. (Again, he was tied up before but somehow got loose.)

"Now about this whole queen thing." continued Swine as if nothing had just happened.

The Light Queen was about to answer when there was a knock at the door. "Who could that be knocking at my door?" asked Cassie. She opened it to see Swill Swill Swill standing outside. (Don't ask how he could be standing outside. You're imaginative, you picture something. I'm tired of having to describe everything to you.)

"Hey look everyone, it's one of those pesky salesmen. They always come at the most inopportune times."

"Quit fooling around. This ship is going to crash at any minute now. You need to get off of here."

"What do you mean minute? I thought we were only seconds away from our death." asked one of the dragons.

"Nope. You're still at least a mile above the planet. You guys are a bunch of fools. If you hadn't stopped beaming people off the ship, you could have all made it off alive. Now I don't know what you're going to do. I can't take all of you in the time machine."

"You got the time machine back?" asked Swine.

"It's a long story. I'll tell you once you're on. Now I have a suggestion. You dragons can fly right?"

The dragons sort of mumbled in agreeance.

"Well why are you still on the stinking ship, you could have flown off the ship to safety a long time ago." So that's what the dragons did. And Swine, The Light Queen, and Cassie left the ship, via Swill's time machine, which was now beginning to smoke and sputter.

They all landed safely, and just in time to see the Hypership, crash in a fiery explosion.

"That could have been us said Swine." Of course Swill knew it was them before, but he knew that he couldn't alter the course of history by knowing this information. He was going to the past and could have prevented this incident entirely. But he didn't want to mess up the storyline, so he hit himself in the head until he forgot everything that had just happened, and flew away with Mocking Al in the time machine. He didn't bother to beat Al, because he figured Al wouldn't be able to remember it anyway. Plus after hitting himself, he didn't remember to hit Mocking Al.

"So," said Swine, "we lived. My offer still stands, should you wish to accept it."

"I'll think about it." replied The Light Queen. She truly didn't know what to say at the moment, and she knew that Swine would wait however long it would take her to make up her mind.

Oxymoron stood staring at the burning wreckage. Should he have not seen Swill appear and fly his friends to safety, he never would he believed that they had lived. Now changing to a more positive mood, he said, "We now have Al's army where we want them. We are still largely outnumbered, but I think that we can take them if we can stop them from making more Extras. Rashaka and I will attempt to dismantle the cloning device. Swine, I want you, Cassie, and The Light Queen to take care of Hoodingy. And Harvey, I want you to take your dragons, and kill as many Extras as you can."

In Red's spaceship, Red and Bob the walking nad watched as the Hypership burst into flames. They shouted in victory and danced about. After they had finally calmed down, they started to wonder what they should do next. They had killed Oxymoron and his friends, but what good did it do for them. They had no wanting to rule Cheesoria, so they finally decided to leave the dimension and find another planet to ransack and plunder.

After Red the evil Communist left, the people of San Freakville fell out of their mind control. They once again swore allegiance to Oxymoron. So Hoodingy had only his spells left to defend himself with as Swine and company came after him. As he saw them walking across the scarred battlefield, he began chanting and dancing once again. The ground shook in an incredible earthquake. He did more harm than good though, for he managed to kill three hundred Extras, as the ground collapsed out from underneath them. Chuckles was the only good guy that was hurt, and since he was now impervious to pain, it didn't actually hurt him when he plunged two hundred feet into a deep chasm. It didn't even hurt him when he landed on his head. The only complication this made was that now Chuckles had to climb back up the chasm. But since he wasn't even part of the group going against Hoodingy, I can continue my story, and not worry about him.

Hoodingy cast another spell, but for some reason it didn't work. He tried casting the spell once again. "Darn it. Why won't my music spell work?" he said. Then he realized why. Mocking Al, who was still tied up and alive, was sitting nearby, and his fuzzy head created a null zone that prevented his music from being heard.

Before he could cast another spell though, The Light Queen reached him. She threw a body check on him and knocked him over. By then Cassie had reached him also, and started to kick him. Hoodingy tried to crawl away, but wasn't paying attention to where he was going, and ran right into Swine. Swine dropped kicked Hoodingy in the head, and then tied Hoodingy up.

Oxymoron had reached the Extra cloning facility, and had looked down to see that Extra was nowhere in sight. "This will be easy." said Oxymoron to Rashaka. After Rashaka landed, Oxymoron got off and walked over to the cloning device. First he tried pulling the power cord to the cloning device. "It's stuck." he said.

Here, let me try it. Projected Rashaka. But she couldn't pull the plug either.

"Okay, it's time for plan B." said Oxymoron the moron, as he pulled a baseball bat out from behind his back. He started hitting the machine, but accidentally turned it on instead. He then tried to turn it off, he touched the machine scanner by accident.

The machine began to buzz and make all sorts of funny noises. Then came an unexpected twist to the story. With a "Woo hoo!" an Oxymoron clone popped out of the machine. Then another, and another, and another.

"Oh no. I can't turn this thing off." cried Oxymoron. But the clones were little help to him. If anything, they were a hindrance. They kept walking around saying things like, "Hi mommy." "Send me money." "Al sucks." "Al, it's all your fault." And more and more of them kept pooping out all the time.

This could be a problem. projected Oxymoron. But the Oxymoron clones, being just like Oxymoron, could also thought project. And read the thoughts Oxymoron sent. So they sent their own thoughts.

We are not problems. We just don't have a good role model. After all, we're just like you.

Back outside the remaining parts of San Freakville, the dragons were busy killing Extras. Slowly the Extra bodies began to pile up. The only ones that were left were the ones that had a flaw in them, and therefore had the increased intelligence. They had managed to keep themselves from being killed.

Swine had managed to destroy all the Demonic Undead Horde by reading from the bible. "The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want." The undead beings slowly melted away and returned back to Satan.

The Light Queen had managed to destroy what was left of CALF by tricking Hoodingy into casting a spell at her. When the spell was flying towards her, she dodged it and it struck CALF. CALF melted away into a slimy puddle of ooze.

The dragons had managed to find the real Extra, (Or who they thought was Extra, not that one can easily tell.) and they tied him up and put him over with Mocking Al. Swine, Cassie, and The Light Queen hopped on separate dragons and went in search of Oxymoron.

From their overhead view, all the three could see were Oxymorons. Hundreds of them. They landed and went n search of the real Oxymoron. "Oxymoron, where are you Oxymoron."

"I'm over here." came voices from all over.

They walked over to Rashaka and asked her where Oxymoron was. I thought I had a mental link on him, but the shear numbers of Oxymorons has blocked my thoughts. They have become so distracting that I can't even pick him out any longer.

"Well, one Oxymoron is as good as another." said Swine grabbing an Oxymoron from the crowd. "Are you the real Oxymoron?"

"I'm Oxymoron." replied the Oxymoron.

"No, I'm Oxymoron."

"No, I'm Oxymoron."

"No, I'm Oxymoron."

"No, I'm Oxymoron." It was apparent that this was a stupid question to ask in the presence of a hundred people that think they are Oxymoron.

"We have to do something about the machine." said Cassie. "Otherwise the whole planet will be overrun by Oxymorons."

We can't unplug it, or destroy it using conventional methods, we'll have to do something more drastic.

Suddenly it became apparent why I left seventy-five dragons at CNPP, which I'm sure you've already forgotten about. "We must blow up the cloning device along with the other Oxymorons." said The Light Queen.

Immediately Rashaka mentally contacted the dragons outside of CNPP and told them to set explosives around the power plant. We'll fly above the planet so that you won't be harmed by the nuclear holocaust.

Chaos ensued as the Cheesorians hurried on top of the dragons backs that were to fly them to safety. Swine was riding with The Light Queen on the back of Harvey. Cassie had agreed to ride with Bean-O, although it took a little convincing. The real Oxymoron (at least I think) was found thanks to the help of Oxymoron's mommy. (He had a face that only a mother could love.) So Oxymoron was on the back of Rashaka, sitting with his mommy.

On the planet, Oxymorons were still popping out of the cloning device left and right. There were at least three thousand Oxymorons "Woo hoo!"ing on the planet. On the back of an unfortunate dragon, sat Mocking Al, Extra, and Hoodingy, still tied up.

"What are we going to do with them?" asked Bean-O.

"Hold on. The story isn't over yet. I still have to torture them." said Oxymoron. "We can hang onto them for a little while longer."

After all the dragons were in the air and were out of the blast radius of the nuclear meltdown, The Light Queen began talking to Swine. "I've thought about your offer, and I've decided that I'd be honored to be your queen."

KABOOM! Was the only sound to be heard as the explosives around the power plant went off. A fireworks spectacular never to be repeated lit up the sky. (Kind of romantic, isn't it?)

The dragons had apparently wished to have their fun for they mixed in all sorts of chemicals with their explosives. Brilliant blues and purples flashed across the horizon. The splash of red here and there, and a few green explosions added more color to the sky. Suddenly the reactor went off and everyone was shook violently about on their dragons. The mushroom cloud that hovered overhead had somehow been altered by the dragons. In the midst of the smoke one could see, "Mocking Al loses again." After the message was read, the dragons all blew the smoke and formed a different message, "Send Me Money."

Suddenly, for whatever reason, Swine wondered where Chuckles was.

Back down on the planet, Chuckles was just finally crawling out of the chasm that he fell into earlier. When the first of the explosions went off, Chuckles said, "I didn't do it." but there was no one around to hear him anyway. He watched the fireworks go off and the colors flash all over. He saw the bodies of Oxymorons flying all over the place, each with a final "Woo hoo!" before it landed on its head and died and quick a pretty painless death.

Chuckles also saw YimFry's unconscious body laying on the ground. In the rush to get into the air, YimFry had been forgotten, not that much could have been done to get him in the air. After all, a dragon that big isn't the easiest thing to carry, and all the dragons were carrying Cheesorian citizens on their backs.

Then there was a brilliant flash, and Chuckles too, saw the mushroom cloud with its message in it. Being the good guys, neither YimFry nor Chuckles died in the incredible explosion. However, both were shaken terribly by the blast. YimFry still didn't move though, for he was still in a coma. Chuckles looked up in the sky and saw that the message had changed. "Swine, you already stole all my money." was all that Chuckles had to say about the comment in the sky.

With the final explosion of the nuclear reactor the EA was destroyed in its entirety, along with the cloning facility. However, the rest of San Freakville was also leveled in the blast. Now the only living people in the dimension were suspended in the air, aside from Chuckles and YimFry, who were obviously still on the ground.

After the final explosions had gone off, the dragons took the citizens of Cheesoria down to the ground. "We now must conclude the epic series." said Oxymoron. "It is now time for the final torturing of Mocking Al of the clan Suckup."

The citizens began telling the story of Mocking right from the beginning, "Forty years ago in the distant land of Cheesoria, an evil wizard began a massive strike to take over the world. the wizard's name was Mocking Al of the clan Suckup."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Please stop screamed Mocking Al. I'll do anything you want me to do."

"Anything?" asked Oxymoron.

"Yes anything."

"Okay, leave and never return."

So, Mocking Al did. And he didn't trip. (He finally learned how to walk over the many years that he has been tortured.) Mocking Al kept walking. He didn't know how far he was supposed to leave, so he kept walking. One day Mocking Al came across a sign that said "Now leaving the space time continuum. No turning back after this point."

"I think this will be far enough, if I just stand outside the space time continuum." So Mocking Al crossed the line and exited the space time continuum. There he ceased to exist, for one cannot exist in a physical body outside of time. One can only exist outside of time in a spiritual body, which Mocking Al did not have. So Mocking Al's existence was ended.

From all dimensions, in all universes, a collective cheering broke out, and celebrations lasted for hundreds of years. For Al took his Alness with him. All of the Alness in all of the dimensions disappeared.

Without Alness, drastic changes underwent in the dimension of Cheesoria. Extra, the exact likeness of Al, turned into a clone of Oxymoron. Just like the forces of Yin and Yang, there is Al and Oxymoron. Since Extra was entirely Al, when there was no Al, he became entirely Oxymoron. (Scary isn't it?) Extra became Oxymoron's best friend.

Hoodingy, who was actually never bad, started teaching Oxymoron real magic. (If you remember, Hoodingy killed Al in 4.7, but promised that he would be on his side in the next story.) So Oxymoron became a powerful magician under the teachings of Hoodingy. Unfortunately Hoodingy died a tragic death, thanks to a small magical accident. I'll just say that Oxymoron was learning spells in excorism, and accidentally destroyed Hoodingy's soul, or at least sent it to an ethereal plain.

Oxymoron built a large palace for his mommy, and she finally got the respect that she deserved. Oxymoron was quoted as saying, "Hey, why not? If she hadn't smacked me in the back of the head, who knows where we would be."

In a far off dimension, Bob the walking nad turned from his homosexual ways. He and Red the evil Communist settled down and started a family. If you see little nadlings running about the next time you are in a strange dimension, think of Bob and the evil Commie.

Swine was asked by Oxymoron to stay in Cheesoria, but he declined his offer. "I have become a changed man. My days of Amazon Women and embezzling money are behind me. I now have my own dimension to rule and a queen to rule with."

However, with Cassie's Hypership being destroyed, Swine and The Light Queen had no way to return to their dimension. So Oxymoron contacted The Flannel god came to pick them up.

Finally, Oxymoron and Swine said their good-byes, even though they would certainly meet once again. "No more embezzling money." said Oxymoron. Now turning to The Light Queen he said, "You take good care of him now. I don't want him getting in trouble and me having to go bail his sorry butt out."

"I'll keep him straight." was all The Light Queen said. And with that, Cassie, Swine, and The Light Queen, Bean-O and Chuckles, and The Flannel god and Klaws boarded the interdimensional transportation ship. Just before they took off, Swill Swill Swill was seen flying across the sky on one of intergalactic trouble making trips.

The Flannel god's ship flashed out of sight, and Rashaka stood next to Oxymoron. They'll be back. she said. They'll be back.

These flowers cost me a lot of money. Send me some of yours to pay for your share.