How to become a crackpot

Like most badly known ancient languages, Etrucan tends to attract crackpots. An huge number of would be dechipherers have produced an huge amount of amateurish works to prove that Etruscan is virtually anthing but what it probably is. If you want to add your name to to this already very long list, here are a few guidelines :

• Always suppose that all people who have written on the subject were spineless idiots.
• Always ignore the most basic facts about the Etruscan writting, like the fact it is basically Greek and was written from right to left.
• Abundantly rely upon "common sense" of the kind "why should have Romans learn Etruscan if it was different from Latin". Yes that's true, and why do Navajos learn English anyway ? It is very different from Navajo, you know.
• Never study the structure of the language you are comparing Etruscan to. Instead, play dominos with roots and word sections, without worrying wether they are verbal or nominal . If you are gifted, just forget about roots, cut the words into one syllab sections, and play mecano with it.
• Jump on the first theory which favor your views, no matter how delirious it is. Forget about understanding this theory.
• Never study ancient culture. Always consider Etruscans thought like 20th century Americans.
• Always assume ancient authors had the same scientific interests and reasoning as modern linguist
• Always put the Etruscans' homeland at the other side of the world with thousands of kilometers of ocean, rain forest and desert to cross, and tens of well known litterate cultures not to have witnessed the migration.
• If this far away country happens to be yours, that's better. Of course, this place is also the cradle of civilization, even if it is in Northern Honduras.
• Never learn history. Rely upon "initiate" knowledge instead.
• If faced with the absurdity of your theory, refuse to admit it. Appeal to its obviousness, if it does not work, appeal to the U.S constitution which, indeed, does garantee your right to make a fool of yourself..