Book of Satan Epic Sown One: DUI
Satan was cruzin' the churches of God when he called for Ironic, his priestly counterfeiting assistant. "Behold!", croaked Satan, and Ironic handed him a brewski.
"Not a beer-hold, you dissimulated disaster! Behold!, as in "Looky yonder!" "The righteous are all in the wilderness and know it not! We shall entangle them with thorns and briers and cause them to choke in the 4th Quarter. As they wander through my valley, I shall cause them to fear. Both evil and Shadow shall they fear. Verily, when none pursueth, shall they fear also."
"Send for the Jackel!, Satan croaked."The Jocko?", Ironic grinned.
"NO!, Satan roared, "THE Jackel!, and I don't mean that assassin sitting in the French prison!"
Ironic knew all along whom he meant, and left to fetch Distraction, hating this assignment, because Distraction was a "shape-shifter" and could be anywhere or any thing.
"You croaked for me?", came a voice from somewhere and nowhere in particular.
"Don't toy with me, you omnipresent imposter! Now, where in Hell are you?!?!, he roared.
This time Distraction imitated a "still small voice", saying , "Why, I am everywhere, O Lord of Darkness. As you know and so effectively use me, I am everything in extreme and I am nothing of myself. I am any thing alone and everything at once. I am substance or I am concept." The bodiless voice began to sing, "I am the whole truth and I am lies, I am emotion and I am sly..."
"Save it for the musical!", the Dark One hissed. "I have work for you to do!".
"But I am working....Worldwide.", Distraction punned.
"Ah-HAHAHAHAHAHA!", cackled Ironic who had returned to approach Satan from behind (which made Satan nervous as he suspected Ironic might be working for God.)
"Love it, love it, love it!", praised Ironic, "It's simply maaaavelous, Darling Dis'. We simply must use it in the Musical*".
*[Ironic and Distraction were continually inspiring writers to produce, as entertainment, stories of humans being destroyed. The hidden irony was that these tales, as physical distractions, were contributing to real spiritual destruction.
Look for "Hades, The Musical Tribute-lation". (World) Wide Release soon.]Satan yawned, like a big cat. "Enough of this background and character mis-development! The Scattering is working. Many have fallen away but there's some who are avoiding you, Distraction. They're actually studying and praying to Him.
Aaarrrrrrrrrrgghhhh!!!!!, he screamed. "There can't be even one!"Ironic and Distraction began parodizing Queen's hit, singing, "Weeeeeeeee arrrrrrrre the Eeeeevillllll,....".
"Shaddddup!", Satan ordered, knowing there already was One, and he had but a short time.
"Get to work!""But we have already "made it so", O Nefarious One."
"Hit it!", yelled Ironic, and the band, DUI*, began rockin'.
[*DUI, Distracted Under the Influence (of Satan)] with their new arrangement of "Miracles of Miracles" ( from Fiddler on the Roof) re-titled, "Conspiracies of Conspiracies" from Fiddler With the Truth.[Apologies to Zero Mostel and Fiddler on the Roof, esp. Miracles of Miracles.]
[Note: (.....) is silent.]
Wonder of wonders, (con)'spiracy of (con)'spiracies,
Satan took Dis-traction once again,
Stood by man's side, and miracle of miracles,
Walked him to....the lion's den!Wonder of wonders, (con)'spiracy of (con)'spiracies,
We doubted this plan, they would receive,
But as man has done so oft' before,
He sees what, ...he wants to see!When Lucifer a-scended to take God's throne,
That was a con-spir-a-cy,
When the Tower of Babel arose,
That was a (con)'spiracy too!But of all Conspiracies, large and small,
The utmost con-fusion of all,
Is that from the Nations' many vain plans,
The tale of, ....a single Plot stands!Wonder of wonders, (con)'spiracy of (con)'spiracies,
The Old Empire is not yet "finis",
So what, if "they make their plans in vain",
Those we distract,...will di-min-ish!Every time Rome re-arises to power,
That is a con-spir-a-cy.
Whenever we blind a Saint to "Char-i-ty",
That is a ...(con)'spiracy too!But of all Conspiracies, large and small,
The greatest Distraction of all,
Is that all nations, Christian, atheist and Jew,
Are plotting against...mortals like you!Your government Agent with a Death Ray,
Royals and Bankers in Black Helos, you see?
But it'll only play, in the U.S.A.,
Cause they think....they have Lib-er-ty!Wonder of wonders, (con)'spiracy of (con)'spiracies,
The most effective (con)'spiracy of all,
Gave us the thing we thought could never be,
"Distraction" HAS GIVEN....YOU TO ME!!!!And Satan, Ironic and Distraction....rejoiced with voices swell,
with arms linked, as they skipped....down the brick road to Hell.***************
(Publisher's note: We realize there are conspiracies among men. Scripture show us how to properly respond to them. Psa. 2:1-2, 4. Distraction is a conspiracy by the one who wants to destroy us spiritually. The antidote is given in Phil. 4:6-8. NKJ.
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